This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic and not a bot.
The user identifies as a cisgender male who suffered from Transgender OCD (TOCD) and found value in the detrans community for support and awareness. Their comments are highly personalized, empathetic, and show a deep, nuanced understanding of the complex issues surrounding gender identity, transition, and detransition. The language is consistent, thoughtful, and reflects the passionate and often critical perspective of someone personally invested in the topic, which aligns with the stated purpose of the subreddit. There are no red flags suggesting inauthenticity.
About me
I started questioning if I was a woman after a panic attack triggered my OCD, even though I had always been comfortable as a man. My mind got stuck on terrifying "what if" scenarios, making me doubt my identity because I have a more understanding, feminine side. Reading stories here helped me see that my feelings were from OCD, not true dysphoria, and that saved me from making a huge mistake. Through therapy, I learned to stop fighting the thoughts and accept that being a man is just a simple fact of who I am. I'm now secure in myself, believing that peace comes from accepting your innate self instead of trying to prove your identity.
My detransition story
My journey with gender wasn't a typical transition and detransition. I never medically transitioned, but I went through a period of intense fear and confusion where I seriously questioned if I was supposed to be a woman. Looking back, I now understand this was caused by my OCD latching onto the topic of gender.
It all started with a panic attack, and then my mind just got stuck. I was raised mostly by women, and I've always been a more sympathetic, understanding guy—some might say I have a "feminine" side. My OCD took that and ran with it, creating this terrifying "what if" scenario: what if I'm actually trans and in denial? The thoughts were constant and overwhelming. I'd get these intrusive thoughts and feelings of disconnect, and the more I tried to figure them out or fight them, the more real they started to feel. It was like I was training my brain to believe it.
During this time, I found this detransition community. Reading the stories here was a huge help. It showed me that many people who transitioned did so for reasons other than true gender dysphoria—things like trauma, internalized homophobia, or, like in my case, neurodivergence like OCD. It comforted me and made me feel more secure. It helped me see that my experience was more about a mental health condition than an identity.
I don't have any gender dysphoria. I like my body. I like being a man and the role that comes with it. For me, being a man isn't about my genitals or being hyper-masculine. It's just a fact of my existence. I am a man because I simply am. I believe that for everyone, manhood or womanhood is something innate, written into your biological code. You can be a man who is feminine or a woman who is masculine without that changing your core self. That's just being a gender non-conforming person.
I have some strong opinions about the trans community now, based on what I've seen. I think it's too accepting without enough questioning. They often affirm someone's desire to transition without thoroughly examining other possible reasons for their feelings, like OCD, autism, or past trauma. I believe this lack of caution is why we're seeing more people detransition. They see detransitioners as a threat to their own identities, but it's not about that. It's about people who made a genuine mistake and are now suffering the consequences.
My recovery involved therapy, specifically ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention), and medication. I learned to stop engaging with the compulsive thoughts. Instead of trying to solve the "problem" of my gender, I had to let the anxious thoughts be there without giving them power. It was a journey, but I came out the other side knowing myself better than ever. I have no regrets about a transition because I never had one, but I do regret the time and energy I lost to the fear and anxiety. My main takeaway is that your identity isn't something you have to prove or discover through drastic changes. Sometimes, you just are who you are, and peace comes from accepting that.
Here is a timeline of my experience:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood onwards | Felt comfortable as a male. Raised in a predominantly female household, which influenced my perspectives. |
| Early 20s | Experienced a severe panic attack that triggered the onset of OCD with a transgender theme (TOCD). |
| Early 20s | Began intense questioning and fear about my gender identity, fueled by obsessive thoughts and compulsions. |
| Early 20s | Found and was helped by reading stories in detransition support communities. |
| Early 20s | Underwent therapy (ERP) and started medication to manage the OCD. |
| Present (mid-20s) | Recognized the episode as OCD. Secure in my identity as a straight, cisgender man. |
Top Comments by /u/TimeNSpace1:
I respect all decisions but the lack of dysphoria is very alarming to me. I don’t mean to scare you and only share this as a caution to heed: many people here have had top surgery and come to seriously regret it, to the point where they can hardly function. Please, please think this through carefully. All love from here, whatever you choose.
Yeah sorry it’s just over. Your “friend” strikes me as a narcissistic and sounds like a tucute who is taking advantage of increasing trans support and attention. I know that sounds harsh but based on what I’m given that’s what I get. Your friend won’t be your friend for a while until A. They detrans and realize how annoying and cringe they were being, or B. She learns that being trans is a medical solution to psychological difference and it’s not something to be touted around like a new shiny Louis Vuitton purse.
I may be wrong but your post seems to focus a lot on how society treated you and rewarded you for being a woman as opposed how it treats you for being a male, and that you don’t even suffer in your current body. Would you still want to be a woman if you got the love and attention you deserved, if you felt seen, and beautiful? It sounds like you feel neglected as a gay male and being a trans a woman is a way to escape that. Sorry if I got any of that wrong but it’s just how the post came off to me. If in the end you decided to retransition and that’s what makes you happy, it should remain a choice because ultimately be about what makes you happy, but before doing so I would really examine and consider the REASONS at length.
They see detransitioners as a threat because the very idea of their reality being a lie, even for someone else, is seen as almost insulting; it formulates the idea that by some extension, someone else’s detransition is a jab at their transition; which couldn’t be farther from the truth. Some people just genuinely made a mistake, or are trans but simply don’t see the effects of transition justifying the means. And some will see hostility in that, other well rounded individuals(such as yourself) will not take it personally, because you know someone else’s life choices has nothing to do with yours. It comes from a place of insecurity. However, I’d like to think one day most people will be able to accept detransition as something normal, just someone who explored or tried something that ultimately wasn’t for them, and there isn’t a need to feel hostile about it :). I have hope one day the scientific community won’t need to dilute detransition numbers and understand that someone else’s truth is not a threat to theirs. Thanks for being aware of the topic! The world needs more people like you!
Nothing you can do, unfortunately. They may end up catastrophically destroying their lives in the process and while that may be hard to swallow it just isn’t your story to be the savior in. It sounds to me as well like, you are in the process of outgrowing this person. Their views toward women sound kinda violent, and you’re literally a woman. So….yeah, I’m not sure how that’s gonna work out, especially because she’s expressing her personal hatred of them in your presence openly and honestly, ofc not knowing you are one.
Idk I’ve seen some transsexuals with seriously terrible bottom dysphoria benefit. Some people would rather deal with constant dilation and (less than hygienic maintenance) to a penis. To me, a nightmare beyond my wildest comprehensions. To them, slightly or much better than before.
I strongly disagree that testicles define a man. You were born into this world a man and you can still do that, outclass many men. Don’t give up. You made a mistake but you are still a man. Period. Do not give up. Fight for your life, you still have one. I am so sorry you went through this, but do not give up.
What if you were just a gender non conforming girl? You are male brained, but you accept that, yet continue to have short hair as a girl, wear mens clothing, basically you get to be a man short of denying your biology through pronouns. You can totally be a girl that is just male presenting. This might be dumb as fuck but thought I’d put in my two cents.
This person is down on their luck, already understands the ramifications of their decision, has the heart to openly share that and you still shit on them as if that’s to make them gain some more clarity they didn’t have before. Your kindness could’ve been the one thing that just kept them moving a little more and this is what you choose to say. Everyone here has made mistakes, they should be building each other up, not down.
This is what women have to go through. There’s a lot of baggage that comes with it. Are you saying this alone makes you feel like being a woman isn’t worth it? Do you actually have concerns that make you want to detransition? That’s unfortunately part of the life they live.