This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The user's narrative is highly personal, detailed, and emotionally consistent, focusing on their specific experience with body image, early development, and social pressures that led to questioning their gender. The advice given to others is nuanced, empathetic, and aligns with a desister perspective (someone who considered transition but did not medically pursue it). The account exhibits normal human patterns, including minor edits and a consistent, passionate voice.
About me
I started wishing I was a boy when I was 11, right after puberty hit and I got a lot of unwanted attention for my body. I thought being male was the only way to escape the shame and be seen as a person. I realized in my twenties that my feelings came from trauma and social pressure, not from being transgender. Now, after having my daughter, I'm learning to accept my female body on my own terms. I'm finally comfortable wearing what I want, knowing my worth isn't defined by how I look.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was really young, around 11 or 12. That's when I hit puberty and my body changed drastically, almost overnight. I developed large breasts very early, and I absolutely hated it. It felt like my life was completely turned upside down. Before that, I was just a kid who could run around and be active, but afterwards, it was like I became a different person in everyone else's eyes. Boys would chase me down the school halls just to grope me, and girls seemed to hate me for something I had no control over. My own family would make jokes, like saying I'd give myself a black eye going up the stairs. I went from being an active tomboy to someone who wouldn't even run or jump in gym class because I was so humiliated and self-conscious. I started wearing huge, baggy hoodies all the time to try and hide my body.
I wished so badly that I had been born a boy. I thought that if I were male, I wouldn't have to deal with this. I wouldn't be treated like a walking pair of boobs. I felt invisible and less than a person, just an object. I used to think I was trans because of this deep frustration with how I was treated as a female. I wanted a flat, athletic body more than anything. I was also bi, and I found myself attracted to girls who had the exact body type I wanted—athletic with small breasts. I never found my own curvy, hourglass figure attractive, even though everyone told me I should be grateful for it.
As I got older, into my twenties, I started to realize that my desire to be male wasn't really about my gender identity. It was about my deep insecurity and the shame I felt about my body. It was about the inequality and the way I was treated. I was so frustrated with being ignored or sexualized that I thought becoming a man was the only way out. I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I'm really glad I didn't, because now, at 30, I see things so differently.
Having my daughter last year was a huge turning point for me. I don't want her to grow up hating her body the way I did. I need to set a better example for her. This year, for the first time, I've started to wear skirts and shorts that show my knees. My legs are paper white because they've literally never seen the sun. It's a small step, but it's huge for me. I've finally come to understand that I don't have to like feminine things to be female. I can wear a baggy hoodie and jeans one day and a sundress the next. My worth isn't tied to my beauty or my body.
I don't regret exploring the idea of transitioning because it helped me figure out who I really am, but I am relieved that I didn't go through with any medical steps. I still have days where I struggle with my breasts; they cause me posture issues and unwanted attention. My husband is supportive of me getting a reduction one day because he understands how much it affects me. But I've accepted that they are a part of me now.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's a personal journey for everyone, but it's so important to be sure. For me, it was rooted in trauma and social discomfort, not in a true transgender identity. I benefited greatly from therapy that helped me explore these feelings without pushing me in one direction or another. I think everyone should have access to that kind of non-affirming, exploratory therapy before making any permanent decisions.
I also want to say that I fully support trans people. I have trans and non-binary family members who are happy, and that's what matters. My issue was with the pressure I felt within some communities to not talk about my doubts or my detransition experience without being labeled transphobic. Finding this support community was a relief because I could finally share my story without that fear.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 11/12 | Hit puberty early; developed large breasts. Hated the changes and the negative attention from peers and family. |
| Teen Years | Identified as a tomboy; felt intense discomfort with my body. Wished I was born male. Felt treated as less than because I was female. |
| 20s | Began to explore the idea of being trans but realized it was rooted in social frustration and body shame, not gender identity. |
| 25 | Started to become more comfortable with myself and began the process of self-acceptance. |
| 30 | Had my daughter, which was a major catalyst for fully accepting my body and not wanting to pass on my insecurities. |
| 30 | Began wearing skirts and shorts for the first time, embracing my femininity on my own terms. |
Top Comments by /u/TinyGreenJolley:
Being young it is totally normal to feel unfamiliar with your body and unhappy. I wanted to be a boy because I got my period around 11 and got breasts very early. Everyone treated me so different what seemed to be overnight. Girls hated me and boys were gross about it even going as far as chasing me down the halls to get a feel.
I’m so glad you’re starting to feel comfortable in your body, remember it will continue to change still and it’s okay to feel weird about it until you get to know it. I was also a tomboy and that added to my confusion, thinking I didn’t identify with anything about being a woman because we are told how women and men should behave and what they should enjoy.
One piece of advice I feel you need to hear, because I know I did.
Don’t be the person you think people want you to be. It will never end well, you will not be happy if you are living your life to please everyone else. That family member you mention, will probably never change. No matter what you do. As hard as it is, you can’t let that affect your future and the person you want to be. Of course it will hurt with the things they say but don’t let it change how you are. Your mom sounds supportive. Be genuine and honest that you’re trying to find yourself as is everyone around your age (hell I’m 30 and just recently would say I found myself). Be unapologetically you. Your opinion in the end is what will matter the most to your happiness.
This sub has finally given me a safe place to say my opinion and experience without being labeled transphobic. It really sucks this weird divide we have in the community where you can’t even have genuine support without it being deemed hate speech because you decided it wasn’t for you, or not what you thought it to be. I’ve definitely seen a severe reaction by the community as if they are deeply offended it didn’t work out for someone else, and it is very sad to see that type of hate within our own community.
Thank you to each and every one in this sub who has shared their raw thoughts and experiences on the subject. I never had a place to talk about this stuff and it has been so eye opening for myself and my situation reading these stories and talking to people. I’ve also definitely seen us all defend people who attacked or spoke of trans in a negative way on this sub. The hate isn’t tolerated. That makes me feel safe in sharing.
I’m not sure what color your hair is, I’m very pale with “black” hair. It shows horribly. I do a number of things as it is something I have to constantly care for.
I wax the thicker hair off. It’s really the only way I’ve found to remove them without having a “shadow”
Jolene crème bleach is the best body hair bleach I’ve found and is relatively gentle. Sally Hansen has a similar product but it was much too harsh for me and wouldn’t even bleach the hair, it just burned my skin.
At home laser hair removal. They have small or larger laser gun kits for at home use which I’ve actually had success with when used consistently. I’d definitely look into that, I’m not a professional but it work for me. They can range from $150- thousands but it’s still less expensive than getting it professionally done. Pay attention for how many uses it’s rated for.
Sorry it’s not more helpful but hopefully it can give you alternatives to look into and to manage till you can get more permanent solutions. The laser stuff really worked for me, but I stopped short and have been relying on the crème and wax again.
Good luck❤️ you’ve got this.
No surgery, but my breasts were a huge reason I wanted to be not female. I wanted to go back to before I had them. They came in quite young, I’m talking c cups at 11/12. I was not a chubby kid. I just got what EVERYONE said I should want. Because everyone said I should want it, it felt wrong. Literally had boys chasing me down halls at school to grope me. It was all anyone commented on and would joke about it to my face. Even my family, I couldn’t walk up or down stairs without someone saying “you’re going to give yourself a black eye”
I was an active kid but when I got them, it was a full stop. I walked slowly everywhere. Wore huge hoodies, and wouldn’t participate in activities in gym that required running or jumping. I hated it, because my life would have been so different without them.
I never got top surgery and I am glad. I still can’t say I LOVE them but they are part of me. I’ve accepted some people will always dislike the fact I have them because if they have smaller sizes, they can’t relate to the problems. My best friend and I have talked about it a lot. She got to be the active person I always wanted to be because she didn’t have my problem. But I have what she calls a womanly/feminine body and she feels like less than a woman without them. I’ve described how they’ve affected me and sure, sometimes it can be a confidence boost in the right situations which are so rare in comparison. Most times though, they are extremely inconvenient and invite negative attention from both men and women. Women hate you if they don’t have them, men only want you because you have them.
My husband now totally understands this and is fully supportive of me getting a breast reduction so I can feel less like a walking pair of boobs. It causes posture issues too. It has been the most clear cut case of “the grass is always greener”.
I’m 30 now and it took me till about 25 to be more comfortable with myself, but I’ve made big leaps and bounds this year. Give yourself a lot of time. Your body will keep changing, and since it seems to be the source of SA for you, I’d get therapy and address these feelings before deciding to do the top surgery. I’m not sure from a male perspective, but I know for women a lot of our problems and self hate about our bodies are due to social inadequacies or a change in how we are viewed as a person before and after.
As someone else said, there is no harm in waiting, but so much harm in rushing. You have your whole life to change it or get the surgery, so definitely don’t do it till you’re 100%
Sorry I haven’t had the mastectomy but I just identify with what you are saying so much when I was younger. It’s understandable! I hope to get my breast reduction in the next 10 years.
Edit: spelling errors
If you don't mind me asking, when did you last see a therapist? I have been to many over my life too. Some didn't help, others were life changing. Don't settle for people who aren't helping you explore yourself. It sounds like you carry a lot of pain and resentment of yourself and relations, and that could be connected to your dysphoria. It's OK to be Trans or not Trans, but this definitely seems like you're trying to fix a fatal wound with scotch tape. Transitioning and detransitioning isn't fixing the problem. Just trying to cover it up or temporarily keep it at bay.
It's so hard. But really come at this with the intention of soul searching. Please don't give up, and try to find help. There isn't always a fix but there are ways to come to accept ourselves for what we are and strive to improve what we can. Wishing you all the love and healing in the world ❤️
I’m so sorry. I totally know the feeling. I have said the exact same stuff too.
An ex bf and I were moving out of Texas. I PAID for the move. I ORGANIZED the move. My name was on the card, the paperwork, the bank…. Everything. They kept trying to ignore me and only talk to him, and I reminded the man that it was my name on everything, and to please address me. I look feminine as well but always felt “tomboyish”. Anyway, I argued with this man, called them up and they apologized and supposedly fixed it. SOMEHOW, they left my name off all of it and it was all addressed to him. He literally only had his name on the paperwork saying who’s stuff was in the truck, along with mine. When they sent the bill, they left my name off all the paperwork. Of course the credit card info was right though. My BF couldn’t believe it having witnessed all of this. A lot of men think we are dramatic or lying about this stuff until they see it themselves and it’s infuriating.
I used to think I was trans, but as I got older I realized it was my frustration with the inequality and treatment that made me feel that way. I wished I was born male so badly.
Sorry for my mini rant. Your words struck a chord and I don’t think I’ve ever talked about it to anyone but my niece when she went through similar stuff. I have trans friends/family and never wanted them to think I had issue with it. I just wasn’t. It was my insecurity of being invisible and less than. I’m such an outgoing person it’s hard to be ignored. I’m pretty good at inserting myself into conversations so that’s good I guess.
You seem like a beautiful soul, take pride that you’re different, and don’t accept shallow people that are less than what you deserve ❤️
I’ve shared my story many times on similar posts but you’re not alone. I got large breasts very young and I hated it. People treated me completely different and I longed to have a flat chest again because I truly hated them. My life changed what felt like overnight.
I was an active kid but no long would jump or run. I’d take the F in gym class because I wouldn’t participate in the sports. Not because I didn’t want to, but because it was obvious everyone was looking. Especially the boys. It changed my life in a negative way and girls also hated me for having them. Not realizing how much I wanted small breasts because then I could be that girl playing sports or running track.
I also identify with what some commenters said above. I was bi, but I was attracted to pretty much the opposite of what I was and never found myself attractive because of it. Any girl I liked were girls that were athletic with small breasts. I had an hourglass figure and big butt and boobs. Which I was told by boys and girls I should love and appreciate. I didn’t.
I’m now 30 and I’m finally beginning to love myself. Of course I still find the athletic and thin look more attractive than my body type, but when I look back at pictures of myself I wish I appreciated what I was. So I’m doing my best to do that now. My best friend to me is GORGEOUS and has the body type I love. She has crippling insecurities about it because she always wanted my body type. But I explained how I didn’t get to be athletic because of my body and it really gave her a new perspective. We all need to be kinder to ourselves.
I hear the rest of what you’re saying but you are so miserably mistaken if you think women are “allowed” to be masculine. Why do you think there is such a high percentage of FTM trans? Because the exact opposite is true. Not hating and you need to walk your own path but that is absolutely untrue.
I have been told to my face if you’re a woman and you aren’t beautiful or willing to have children I may as well be dead because my life is worth nothing if I’m not birthing children. We haven’t been recognized as real people till the last century. I will fight for trans womens rights but this really hurt me to read that you’d think that at all.
A woman’s worth is purely her beauty from society’s view. Biologically female or not. That is what being a woman feels like.
ETA hope it doesn’t come off aggressive I just truly feel you are way off the mark due to whatever experience you are having. I’m trying to keep my bias of wanting to be male in check as well.
I have tried nair, but I wouldn’t recommend for the face. It does well to remove the hair but it’s about the same result as shaving (imo) but then again my hair is super dark so you may be able to pull it off. Also, if it does happen to burn your skin it’s so noticeable and takes a long time to heal. I have also burnt my face with the wax one time when I tried to rush the process and didn’t test it first. That was so embarrassing. If you are brave and have time off and want to try, that’s up to you but as I said for me it was the same result as shaving and more often than not it may burn since our facial skin tends to be more sensitive.
ETA: I can’t do the makeup either. It felt worse cause the amount I needed made it obvious I was caked in make up and I was never THAT good at makeup. I’m not bad at it but not great. Enough I was able to coverup tattoos.
When looking for a therapist in your area usually it will have a brief description on what they specialize in. In some cases you can contact them and explain your therapeutic goals and see if they are able to help you. Good ones that may be biased against it usually will say so and say they can not help you. If they don’t, and you start meeting with one but feel as if you’re being pushed in one direction or another rather than getting to the bottom of your truth you can always look for someone who can better assist you. I’ve met therapists that due to their religious beliefs know they can’t provide the help required for people struggling with this issue and will deny them or provide recommendations to therapists that can help. It’s equally important that the therapist is honest about their bias as the patient is honest as well.
It’s hard, but you can do it. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should feel. Rather let them help you find WHY you feel how you do. Hope that’s at least helpful.