This story is from the comments by /u/Top_Ad5385 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments demonstrate:
- Personal Investment: A consistent, nuanced, and evolving perspective on detransition, medical ethics, and social pressures over many months.
- Complex Understanding: The user engages with specific cultural references (e.g., "Stone Butch Blues"), understands community-specific terminology, and presents multi-faceted arguments.
- Human Inconsistency: The tone and focus shift naturally between personal reflection, political analysis, and emotional reactions (e.g., frustration with activists like Chase Strangio, followed by self-correction about using "ableist language").
- No Scripted Patterns: The language is not repetitive or formulaic. The user even expresses uncertainty ("I am just speculating though") and corrects themselves, which is uncharacteristic of bots.
The passion and strong opinions are consistent with a genuine individual who has been personally affected by the topic.
About me
I was a tomboy who felt overwhelmed by early puberty and my changing female body, which worsened my existing anxiety, depression, and autism. I found a community online that made me feel special and I came to believe that becoming a man would solve my deep self-hatred and trauma from a difficult childhood. I medically transitioned, but testosterone made me feel worse and having my breasts removed left me with profound grief, not relief. I finally realized my struggle wasn't with being female, but with untreated mental health issues and the pain I was trying to escape. Now I am detransitioning, learning to accept myself as a woman while living with the permanent changes from a decision I made when I wasn't well.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was very young. I was always a tomboy, more comfortable getting dirty and wrestling than doing what other girls were doing. Puberty hit me hard around age nine, and I wasn't ready for it. The changes to my body felt overwhelming and wrong, and it made my existing anxiety and depression much worse. I was diagnosed with autism, which made social things and sensory experiences, like the feeling of certain clothes or makeup, really difficult to handle. I also have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, which affected my hormones.
My home life was tough. I experienced verbal and emotional abuse, which led to complex PTSD. I felt completely broken and out of place, and by 14, I was having serious suicidal thoughts. I was in and out of psychiatric hospitals. Around this time, I was also exposed to pornography, which gave me a really messed-up, misogynistic view of women. I started to see women as weak and emotional, and I began to hate the idea of being one.
When I was 15, I found Tumblr and fell into the "genderqueer" community online. It felt cool and artistic, and it gave me a label that made me feel special and different. I started identifying as genderqueer and made friends with other kids at school who were exploring their identities. I joined the Gay-Straight Alliance and got really into '70s and '80s hard rock, emulating the male musicians. I felt completely alienated from everyone my age.
My relationships were a mess. I craved attention from boys but kept getting hurt. I had confusing, painful experiences with a couple of gay male friends that left me feeling sexually worthless. I started using drugs and alcohol to cope. I developed this idea that if I became more masculine, maybe I’d finally be loved and accepted, especially by gay men.
At 18, I came out as a trans man. My parents were shocked; they’d been okay with me being genderqueer but this was a lot for them. My mom even suggested a breast reduction instead of a full mastectomy, but I was set on a full transition. I started binding my chest every day. I got letters for surgery from a general practitioner and a psychiatrist, even though I had just been in the psych ward for suicidal ideation. I wasn't in a sound state of mind to make such a huge decision.
I started taking testosterone a few months before my surgery. It made me feel horrible—more aggressive, more moody, and even more suicidal. I got into fights with my family, drove recklessly, and lost the few friends I had. My voice dropped, and I started growing facial hair.
I had my breasts removed at age 20. My insurance covered the mastectomy but not the nipple grafts, so my parents and a couple of aunts helped me pay for that. The surgery itself was traumatic. Afterwards, I felt a profound sense of grief and loss, not relief. My mental health completely spiraled. I started using harder drugs, like crack and meth, and got into a really dangerous situation with an older addict.
I lived as a trans man from 20 to 22, but I knew something was still very wrong. While researching autism online, I found stories from other detransitioned women. I joined a private group and finally found people who understood my experience—the autism, the trauma, the shame. That’s when I realized I needed to detransition. I was officially diagnosed with complex PTSD, which made so much sense.
I now see that my desire to transition was a way to escape my trauma, my discomfort with puberty, my self-hatred, and the overwhelming pressure of performative femininity. I was trying to run away from being a woman because I thought being a woman meant being weak and undesirable. Transitioning didn’t solve any of my problems; it just added more trauma and permanent changes to my body. I have a deep voice and facial hair I have to shave every day. I can’t get my breasts back, and I don’t want more surgery. I don’t trust doctors anymore.
I don’t regret exploring my identity because it led me to where I am now, but I deeply regret the medical interventions. I wish my doctors and therapists had asked more questions, had looked deeper into my trauma and autism, and had not been so quick to affirm me. I needed help coping with my pain, not a way to escape my body.
Today, I’m trying to heal and accept myself as a female, with all the complications that come with it. I believe that for me, and for many others, our struggles weren't really about gender but about deeper mental health issues, trauma, and the impossible expectations placed on women.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 9 | Started puberty early. Felt overwhelming discomfort and anxiety about my body. |
| 11 | Saw my first therapist for depression and anxiety. Started having intense mood swings. |
| 14 | Began having serious suicidal thoughts. Felt alienated and ostracized at school. |
| 15 | Discovered "genderqueer" community on Tumblr. Started identifying as genderqueer. |
| 18 | Came out as a trans man. Started binding my chest and seeking medical transition. |
| 20 | Underwent double mastectomy (top surgery). |
| 20-22 | Lived as a trans man. Mental health severely declined; substance abuse worsened. |
| 22 | Found detransition stories online. Joined a support group and began to detransition. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/Top_Ad5385:
Caraballo has over 80K followers on Twitter and she attacked this poor person for absolutely no reason other than being detrans:
"VENTING: When K.C. Miller posted a video to Twitter in which she expressed frustration with her transition, it provoked a swift, severe backlash.
...
A REUTERS SPECIAL REPORT Why detransitioners are crucial to the science of gender care.
...
Earlier this year, K.C. Miller, a 22-year-old in Pennsylvania who was assigned female at birth, began wrestling with how she felt about her medical transition.
Miller initially sought treatment for gender dysphoria when she was 16 from the adolescent gender clinic at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. In September 2017, Miller met with Dr Linda Hawkins, a counselor and co-founder of the hospital’s gender clinic, for the first of two 90-minute visits. During that session, Miller told Hawkins she had wanted to be a Boy Scout as a kid and “always felt like a tomboy,” according to Hawkins’ notes in Miller’s medical records, reviewed by Reuters. Miller also told Reuters that as a young girl she was attracted to other girls, but didn’t feel she could pursue those relationships because her family’s church didn’t accept homosexuality.
Miller’s case had further complications. Hawkins noted that Miller had an extensive history of sexual abuse by a family member starting at age 4, and that as a result, Miller had already been diagnosed with anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder. Miller had been admitted to a psychiatric hospital for 10 days because of suicidal thoughts in late 2016.
While in the hospital, Miller told her mother she wished she wasn’t a girl “because then the abuse would not have happened,” Hawkins wrote. Elsewhere in the records, Hawkins noted that “Mom expresses concern that the desire to be male and not female may be a trauma response.”
Miller, her mother and Hawkins met again seven weeks later. Miller had continued to have suicidal thoughts. She had taken medication for depression and anxiety and was working with a therapist, Hawkins noted. By the end of that second visit, Hawkins concluded that, “in spite of” Miller’s trauma from abuse, the 16-year-old “has been insistent, persistent and consistent” in thinking of herself as male.
Hawkins referred Miller to a local gender clinic to receive testosterone. Miller got a mastectomy about six months later.
But medical treatment didn’t offer the relief she sought. Her body started to change due to the hormones, yet Miller didn’t feel better. Instead, she cycled through bouts of depression. She passed as a young man, but “something felt off. It felt like I was putting on an act.”
Then Miller began reading the stories posted online by young detransitioners. Parts of their experiences resonated with her. “I absolutely would not have done this if I could go back and do it again,” Miller told Reuters. “I would have worked through therapy and would be living my life as a lesbian.”
Miller said Hawkins should have done a more thorough evaluation of all of Miller’s mental health issues and shouldn’t have recommended treatment so quickly.
Her mother, who asked not to be identified to protect her privacy, told Reuters that providers assured her that Miller’s distress was related to her gender identity and that gender-affirming care would reduce the risk of suicide.
A spokesman for Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia declined to comment, citing patient privacy.
Sitting in her car in early October, Miller let out years of frustration in a video posted on Twitter. She told viewers she felt she looked too masculine to detransition. She described how testosterone thinned her hair. “I don’t see me personally being able to come back from what’s happened,” she said in the video.
The video went viral, registering nearly four million views within days and igniting an avalanche of comments. Two days after Miller’s post, Alejandra Caraballo, a transgender woman, LGBTQ-rights advocate and clinical instructor at Harvard Law School’s Cyberlaw Clinic, wrote on Twitter: “The detransition grift where you complain about transitioning not making you look like a greek god but you also aren’t actually detransitioning yet because you don’t feel like your birth gender and you follow a bunch of anti-trans reactionaries that want all trans people gone.”
Caraballo told Reuters she reacted to Miller’s video because those types of detransition stories are “outlier examples being used by many on the anti-trans side to undermine access to gender-affirming care. They aren’t representative of detransitioners on the whole.”
In other posts and direct messages, some transgender people Miller had once idolized made fun of her appearance and criticized her decisions. One person made a death threat.
A few weeks later, Miller said she stopped taking testosterone, began to feel suicidal and sought psychiatric care. She uses female pronouns among friends, but still presents as a man in public."
I completely agree.
I think the rise of social media marketing has a lot to do with it.
Girls are fed a firehouse of very labor-intense marketing bullshit from influencers. There's this insane notion that if you don't look like Kim Kardashian you aren't a woman.
Like the performative femininity is out of control. You are "supposed" to know how to spend 3 hours installing a mural of flawless elaborate facial and eye makeup and you're "supposed" to enjoy it. You are "supposed" to want long silky "perfect" hair. You are supposed to understand and use contour, highlight, fake lashes, real lashes, mascara, hair pieces, "bake," false eyebrows. You are "supposed" to rip all the hair off your face, chin, and body. You are "supposed" to have new chic designer "fits" everyday. You are supposed to have elaborate colorful inch long nails.
You are "supposed" to have a perfect slim-thick hourglass figure with a wasp waist and huge perfect ass.
It is unhinged. Marketing of course has always preyed on women, but it has gotten unbelievably elaborate in the past decade or so.
I think a lot of girls just want to "nope" out of that world, and it is sooooo pushed and ingrained that they feel they "must not be a girl" if they don't use 300 shades of browbone highlight or if they happen to have belly fat and enjoy wearing comfy clothes.
And the marketers still love it if you decide you aren't a girl. You can then buy buy buy binders and menswear shaped for a female and cute bowties and Pride tees and hey maybe some T by subscription box shipped by Folx!
It is beyond misogyny.
I will say this. The media fell all over itself to interview Beck when Beck was trans. He had many many high profile appearances when he was Kristin.
And it seems only some random Christian page is covering his detransition.
Wouldn't it be just as big a story that he ceased being trans? As it was for him to be trans?
On what possible planet is pediatric knee surgery comparable to pediatric top surgery??
First of all, knee repair surgery is actually supported by robust clinical studies, which is impossible to find regarding pediatric mastectomy.
One is also designed to improve the organ's function; the other, on the wrong person, can be devastating, desexing, and permanent.
If there was a brand new trendy teen knee surgery that appeared to leave a significant portion of its recipients with say, a permanent limp and agonizing pain, OF COURSE the NYT would do a piece on it.
Is Chase seriously comparing the "downside" of KNEE repair surgery to the downside of an erroneous double mastectomy?
And the argument that "top surgery was great for me, a sample size of one, therefore anyone who questions it is a bigot" is just absurd.
I can't believe this person commands so much of the ACLU's activity and budget. He is a zealot who can't conceive that what is right for him may not be right for everyone, and, more to the point, doesn't want anyone talking about it.
Interestingly, one of the OG activists pushing for trans women to be allowed in at the gates, a trans woman named Dama Rivers, turned out to be a California mass murderer who killed a lesbian family in 2016
Years before the mass murder, the murderer wrote the below on participating in "Camp Trans" protests to enter the "women-only" fest as a trans woman: "Room for All Kinds of Womyn." (Origially published at http://www.lesbianation.com August 2000)
The more I think about it the more disrespectful I find it. What exactly is River trying to achieve by slamming detrans people? Why make people feel bad about not feeling trans?
Or does River just not believe detrans people exist in the first place and it is all a nefarious plot by the anti-trans lobby?
Also young people are and have always been obsessed with what "label" they are. In the 80s white East Coast culture, it was are you a jock, a prep, a "guido," a theater kid, a goth, a hippie/Deadhead, a metal head, a lover of rap -- what "are you." It has something to do with puberty and preparing for adulthood I think -- that focus.
Young people are obsessed with superficial identities and what kind speaks to them.
So they can be very suspectible to taking trans ideology too far.
I think the trans agenda started from a good faith place of protecting trans people. But it just doesn't work out when served up to vast numbers of young always-online people.
I know what you mean.
Looking back at photos of Pride Parade Dyke Marches of years past vs now is a tough one. It is kind of a one-two punch: the movement away from the identity by trans men / nonbinaries, and the influx of biological males attracted to women who identify as women.
You have to remember that this is something of a mass fad or social contagion. What started as acceptance of the trans population has snowballed into chaos. Therapists can now lose their licenses for failure to affirm in some places. There is little incentive to roadblock a transition.
The system is set up to be very pro transition and "affirming."
It also doesn't hurt that there is a lot of money at low risk to be made from elective mastectomy.
It seems rather odd for CNN to have released an hour long documentary on Beck, "Lady Valor," and then fail to report that he has detransitioned.
It is kind of toxic for the culture to heap praise on people who come out trans and then act like it is somehow a dirty secret when they detransition. And then come the social media excuses as to why his story doesn't matter -- oh well he is a sample size of 1. He has wartime PTSD. He isn't mentally well. He never was trans - he was just a cross dresser. He's probably a right winger. Etc etc.
If it is a story that he transitioned? It is also a story that he detransitioned.