genderaffirming.ai 

Reddit user /u/Top_Spinach_5329's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 16 -> Detransitioned: 20
female
low self-esteem
internalised homophobia
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
depression
influenced online
body dysmorphia
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
benefited from non-affirming therapy
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.

The user's comments show:

  • Personal Narrative: A consistent and emotionally complex personal story about their own detransition and its impact on their sibling.
  • Engaged Reasoning: They engage with arguments, cite sources, and show a nuanced, evolving perspective.
  • Appropriate Emotion: The passion and frustration expressed are consistent with someone who feels they have been harmed.

The account demonstrates the hallmarks of a genuine individual.

About me

I started transitioning because I felt intense discomfort with my female body when I developed during puberty and thought becoming male was the answer. My certainty even influenced my younger sister to transition, which is something I deeply regret now. Through different therapy, I realized my distress was more about depression and low self-esteem than my actual sex. I stopped testosterone and detransitioned to accept that I am, and always was, a female. I now believe much better mental health screening is crucial before anyone goes down this medical path.

My detransition story

My whole journey with this started because I was deeply uncomfortable with my body when I hit puberty. I hated developing breasts; it felt completely wrong and foreign to me. I was also struggling with a lot of other things at the time: depression, really low self-esteem, and anxiety. I spent a huge amount of time online, and that’s where I first learned about being transgender. It felt like an answer. All the discomfort I felt about my body was suddenly explained. I thought if I could just change my body to look male, all those other bad feelings would go away too.

I started by socially transitioning. I cut my hair, changed my name, and asked everyone to use he/him pronouns. It felt good at first, like I was finally taking control. I was so sure. My certainty actually influenced my younger sister, who also started to identify as a boy after seeing me do it. That’s something I feel really guilty about now.

I ended up taking testosterone. I never got top surgery, but I wanted it. Looking back, I think a lot of my feelings were tangled up in other issues. I had a lot of internalized feelings about being a lesbian and I think I used the idea of being a man as a form of escapism from my own life and my mental health problems. I didn't have the language for it then, but I now see that a lot of my distress was more like body dysmorphia than true gender dysphoria.

My perspective started to change when I began a different kind of therapy that wasn't just about affirming my gender identity. This therapy helped me work through my underlying depression and low self-esteem. I started to realize that my female body wasn't the problem; the problem was how I felt about myself and how I thought others saw me. I began to understand that I had been socialized female and that those experiences were real and had shaped me, whether I liked it or not. Denying that part of my life felt dishonest.

I decided to detransition. It wasn't a "step in my gender journey" like some people online say. For me, it was about stopping something that was ultimately wrong for me and accepting that I am, and always was, a female. My personality, my interests, my style—none of that has anything to do with my sex. I can be a woman and still be myself.

I do have some regrets. I regret not dealing with my underlying mental health issues first. I regret the influence I had on my sister and how my certainty probably pushed her in a direction she might not have gone on her own. I’m trying to talk to her now, but it’s difficult.

I don't believe in banning all care for young people, but I strongly believe there need to be far more restrictions and much better mental health screening. The evidence for this medical pathway is not as strong as people are led to believe. I think the conversation around this needs to be a scientific and medical one, not a political battle. My own experience shows how complex the reasons for transitioning can be, and that’s why deeper exploration is so crucial.

Age Event
13 Started puberty. Felt intense discomfort and hated developing breasts.
15 Spent a lot of time online, learned about being transgender. Felt it explained my discomfort.
16 Socially transitioned. Changed name, pronouns, and appearance to male.
17 Began taking testosterone.
19 Began non-affirming therapy that addressed underlying depression and self-esteem.
20 Realized my issues were not with my sex. Stopped testosterone and began detransitioning.

Top Comments by /u/Top_Spinach_5329:

8 comments • Posting since February 24, 2024
Reddit user Top_Spinach_5329 (detrans female) explains why she rejects the term "ftmtf" and the narrative that detransition is just another step in a fluid gender journey, stating it was about ending the "bullshit" and accepting being female.
33 pointsMar 20, 2024
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Yeah I don't use ftmtf for myself either. It reminds me of those posts I saw on tumblr while trying to find detransition stories that said stuff like "detransitioning is perfectly fine, it's just another step in your journey.. gender is always changing.. as long as you don't use your experience to be transphobic detransitioners are so valid <3". Like no, at least for me, this is not another step in discovering my true gender. This is me finally putting an end to the bullshit and just accepting that I'm female and that doesn't have any effect on my personality or interests or style.

Reddit user Top_Spinach_5329 (detrans female) explains why a criminal investigation is the worst solution for parents following doctors' advice to treat their 14-year-old sibling's depression and dysphoria with puberty blockers.
31 pointsMar 19, 2024
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My parents are in an extremely difficult situation right now. They are doing what licensed doctors are telling them is the safe and healthy thing to do to help their child, who is suffering a lot from depression and gender dysphoria. I think a criminal investigation would be one of the worst solutions to this problem. 

Reddit user Top_Spinach_5329 (detrans female) explains that systematic reviews on transition outcomes are based on low and very low quality evidence, meaning the true effects are likely different from the reported ones.
27 pointsFeb 25, 2024
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The first two links are systematic reviews, which are like the "gold standard" in evidence-based medicine. However, in the "Conclusions" section, you will find the first review is based on low quality evidence, while the second review is based on very low quality evidence. Low quality evidence, on the GRADE scale, means "The true effect might be markedly different from the estimated effect", and very low quality means "The true effect is probably markedly different from the estimated effect". Sorry if you already knew this and I'm being annoying!! I just wanted to put this out there for anyone reading your comment. I do agree with the original comment saying some people benefit from HRT/surgery, simply because I've seen old trans people who were happy. However, high quality evidence is just not there to prove large amounts of people benefit yet.

Here is the link for the GRADE scale meanings that I used: https://bestpractice.bmj.com/info/us/toolkit/learn-ebm/what-is-grade/

Reddit user Top_Spinach_5329 (detrans female) explains how her own transition influenced her younger sister to identify as a boy, and shares her apprehension about announcing her detransition.
26 pointsMar 5, 2024
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I'm having many of the same feelings so you aren't alone. My little sibling (female) started identifying as a boy because of me :( luckily my mother told me shes not putting him on testosterone for a long time because, and I quote "you just seemed so much more sure". It's gonna be kinda awkward when I tell her I'm detransitioning, lol. 

Reddit user Top_Spinach_5329 (detrans female) explains her difficult attempts to convince her emotionally closed-off sibling to reconsider puberty blockers by sharing her own detransition story.
15 pointsMar 19, 2024
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I have tried, my sibling is actually the only person I've told about my detransition besides my therapist. But I was telling him with the intention of getting him to reconsider his insistence on medical transition instead of just sharing my story with him, which may have came through and ruined the moment even though I wasn't trying to show my intentions. My sibling is very emotionally closed off and constantly insults me, which makes connecting with him difficult, but I'm going to continue trying. I really appreciate your perspective!! Thank you :)

Reddit user Top_Spinach_5329 (detrans female) comments on a NYT article, defending detransitioners' right to call their own bodies "mutilated" and arguing for more restrictions on pediatric transition care, citing the US as a global outlier.
14 pointsFeb 24, 2024
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I read the article in question a while ago and I don't have a NYT subscription so I can't reread it right now. I don't remember if it treated trans people's bodies as negative, I thought it was mostly recounting detransitioners' stories and it's perfectly acceptable for us to express negative thoughts about our bodies and even call ourselves "mutilated" etc. Also, maybe he is thinking about conservatives and their news sites when saying people focus more on the "small" (we don't know that it's actually small) amount of negative transition outcomes? Because from what I've seen this is a rare piece for the NYT and other non-conservative sites, but maybe there were similar ones in the past I just wasn't aware of. And while I don't know if I believe in a blanket care ban for transgender youth (although I am starting to lean that way), there needs to be far more restrictions and it seems like this guy wants it to all be up to individual children, parents, and doctors. Does he know that America is a huge outlier when it comes to pediatric gender medicine? https://thehill.com/opinion/healthcare/4070174-why-europe-and-america-are-going-in-opposite-directions-on-youth-transgender-medicine/ But I agree that it is incredibly sad that this has become such a polarized political issue. It should be a scientific/medical one.

Reddit user Top_Spinach_5329 (detrans female) comments on the denial of AGAB socialization, arguing that lived experiences are shaped by how society treats men and women.
9 pointsFeb 26, 2024
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I agree. I've seen some people say that they were never socialised as their AGAB because.. they knew they weren't that gender? Like some trans woman claimed that growing up as male was traumatizing and painful, which I can see, but then they said that since they were never male on the inside... they never internalized their socialisation?? Which just doesn't make sense. I find it very refreshing when I see trans people (it's mostly the older ones, like you said, this denial of lived experiences seems to be a new one) who acknowledge that they were raised as and have lived a life typical to their sex. I've also seen some people on tumblr saying "male and female socialisation is terf rhetoric, people of both sexes have so many different experiences" (they probably didn't even say both sexes lmao, they usually think intersex is a third sex or sex is a spectrum) and like... yeah people have different experiences, no shit! But you just have to go outside to see that men and women GENERALLY act different. Unless you think that is all predetermined, it has to be the way they were raised and how our society treats men vs women. I just can't believe people deny that. 

Reddit user Top_Spinach_5329 (detrans female) critiques the idea that trans men can oppress trans women, arguing it stems from ignoring sex-based oppression.
5 pointsFeb 27, 2024
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Oh my god yes the trans men can oppress trans women thing is such BS. In what world?! I guess it's the natural conclusion of not treating sex as a real axis of oppression and thinking women are oppressed for their "gender identity" or "femininity". I am also very glad to have escaped all this.