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Reddit user /u/Traditional_Bid_5585's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 17 -> Detransitioned: 22
female
low self-esteem
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
trauma
depression
influenced online
serious health complications
now infertile
body dysmorphia
retransition
puberty discomfort
benefited from non-affirming therapy
benefited from psychedelic drugs
autistic
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.

There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments demonstrate:

  • Personal, nuanced advice that is specific to each user's situation.
  • Empathetic and supportive language consistent with someone who has lived experience.
  • Complex reasoning about the intersection of autism, trauma, and gender dysphoria.
  • Consistent perspective across all comments, showing a deep understanding of detransition concerns.

The passion and detailed advice are indicative of a genuine desister or detransitioner.

About me

I never fit in as a teenager and my discomfort with being a woman felt overwhelming, so I found community online and believed I was a transgender man. I started testosterone thinking it would solve all my problems, but it caused serious health issues and made me infertile. Through therapy, I discovered my feelings were actually caused by being autistic and having depression, not by being the wrong gender. I regret the permanent changes I made to my body because I misunderstood myself. Now I am learning to live authentically as a woman, accepting that my biology doesn't have to limit who I am.

My detransition story

My whole journey with gender was a long and confusing one, and looking back, I see now that a lot of my feelings were misunderstood. I never felt like I fit in, especially as a teenager. I now realize that a lot of my discomfort was because I am autistic. The expectations for women felt like a sensory nightmare—the clothes, the makeup, the social rules—it all felt wrong and overwhelming. I think I misinterpreted that intense feeling of "something is not right" as gender dysphoria, when it was really just me struggling to cope in a world not built for my brain.

I also went through a period of deep depression and had very low self-esteem. I hated my body, especially my breasts, and felt completely disconnected from it. I spent a lot of time online, and I was heavily influenced by the communities I found there. They affirmed my feelings as being those of a transgender man, and it felt like I had finally found an answer. I started to believe that if I transitioned, all my problems would be solved. It was a form of escapism.

I socially transitioned and started taking testosterone. For a while, it felt like it was helping. But the changes from hormones are permanent, and I started to realize that I had made a huge decision based on a misunderstanding of myself. I had serious health complications from the testosterone that were really scary. I also became infertile, which is something I have to live with now.

What finally helped me see things more clearly was a kind of therapy that wasn't just about affirming my gender identity, but about digging deeper into why I felt the way I did. We explored my autism, my past trauma, and my depression. I started to understand that my problem wasn't with being a woman, but with the pain and confusion I was carrying. I also had some powerful experiences with psychedelic drugs that helped me reconnect with my body in a positive way, without the layers of hate and dysmorphia.

I don't regret exploring my identity because it led me to a place of much greater self-understanding. But I deeply regret the permanent changes I made to my body. I regret that I didn't get the right kind of help sooner, help that looked at my autism and my mental health struggles instead of just offering transition as a solution.

Today, I see gender very simply. I believe we are all just people. Being male or female is a biological trait, like eye color, and it doesn't have to dictate how we act or what we like. It's okay to be a woman who is masculine, or a man who is feminine. We can present ourselves however we want. My goal now is to live authentically as the woman I am, without feeling pressured to fit into any box.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
14-16 Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty and social expectations. Felt like I didn't fit in.
17 Discovered online trans communities and began to identify as a transgender man. This felt like an answer to my problems.
18 Socially transitioned (changed name/pronouns). Started testosterone.
21 Experienced serious health complications from testosterone. Began non-affirming therapy to address underlying autism, depression, and trauma.
22 Realized I had misinterpreted my feelings. Stopped testosterone. Began the process of detransitioning.
Present (23) Living as a woman again. Focusing on managing my autism and building a life I love, accepting my female body.

Top Comments by /u/Traditional_Bid_5585:

5 comments • Posting since August 29, 2022
Reddit user Traditional_Bid_5585 (desisted female) offers advice and hope to a young detransitioning female, suggesting voice training, electrolysis, and breast reconstruction, and urges her to seek her mother's support.
25 pointsAug 30, 2022
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It's so painful and hard to read about all of this. But remember, you are still very young and your body will change a lot on your natural hormones. I know it's hard, but the best thing you can do is to tell your mom the truth. She wants your happiness and even if it's going to be hard, it's way much better for her than looking at your distancing, suffering or even death. It's possible to make your voice higher again by working with resonance. If you're comfortable with it, let's google a phrase "finding your female voice" to find PDF with detailed instructions how to make it - it's dedicated to trans women, so you'll probably be somewhat uncomfortable with it, but it's really working and after some practice you'll sound good and natural. It's also possible to remove your facial hair by electrolysis or take more serious medical operations like Adam's apple removal or breast reconstruction, if it will help you. I know they are not "easy reversion", but serious and hard for your body medical operations, but they are also possible. Firstly you can start wearing some A-sized bra even for a flat chest to look more curvy - it's working too. There are detrans women detransitioning even in older age than you, who got fully female passing (it's simply because they are still female) and have normal love life. I know it seems extremely hard, as it is, but you're extremely brave individual and I'm so proud of you - now fighting for your mom, but hopefully in some time also for your own happiness, because you absolutely deserve it. If you wanna comfort your mom, you can explain to her that you both trusted too much some authorities, and you're not mad at her, it's not her fault, she wanted all the best for you, so she decided to trust professionals. The whole system is just messed up and not enough focused on things, which can mislead to transition, especially in young people - lack of gnc woman authority in your case, sexual trauma, autism and endometriosis in mine. You shouldn't be ashamed, it's not your fault as well, as you said, you were just a child which hadn't got a proper help, but was automatically affirmed. But please, tell her, or show her this post or some of your other posts. Now you're all alone in this, and it's way too much for a teenager. Moreover, it's too much for anyone, but especially for a vulnerable teenager (teenage years are probably the most challenging life stage). You really deserve her support and it's also better for her to know, trust me. I see you were into computer games, but you're uncomfortable with female characters right now - it's completely understable in your case, take your time and try games like Mario, gold old Minecraft, Half Life, Worm's Armageddon, Heroes of Might and Magic and so on - maybe some of them will be interesting for you and they don't contain triggering content. And it's really important to have some hobby, or at least try - please don't interpret this as downplaying your problems, because they're extremely serious and hard, but it may be really helpful to your mind to have something to focus on, in case to not focus only on your body. Your body will recover while you will have some quality time, or at least a little less painful time. Even if you can't do sports now, there's so many things to try - painting, writing, amigurumi, musical instruments (ukulele is super cute and relatively easy), literally everything - like herbalism, metal music and electricity in my case :) You are just at the beginning of your life, you body is really elastic, please, don't scratch off yourself because of what other people did to you. You're more than that, trust me. If you want to talk, feel free to text me. Wish you all the best, brave one.

Reddit user Traditional_Bid_5585 (desisted female) explains how autism can be misinterpreted as gender dysphoria, detailing how social/sensory issues and discomfort with feminine roles can lead some autistic females to consider transition.
12 pointsSep 2, 2022
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Autistic people often struggle with strong tension and stress, which causes in the feeling that "something is not right", that you're different and you can't freely be your true self among others, sometimes in sensory issues - and this tension can be misinterpreted as dysphoria. Autistic people also often present themselves in gender non-conforming way and/or can't understand the concept of social roles, and it can put them to transition. Social and biological role of women can cause sensory hell in autistic females (uncomfortable clothes, high heels, long hair, periods, make up), so they feel pushed to transition, even if it's better for many of them just to don't wear make up and so on, it can eliminate their "dysphoria" being in this case just sensory issues.

Reddit user Traditional_Bid_5585 (desisted female) advises an AGP individual to consider HRT's impact on sex drive, life consequences, and the risk of fixation before transitioning.
11 pointsSep 7, 2022
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I don't feel competent to judge your reasons, but remember that taking HRT would make your sex drive much lower. There's quite a lot of AGP men, who lost their desire after HRT and wanted to go back. I see that you are somewhat hyperfixating on your body's look, that's normal, because you're thinking about all of this a lot, but maybe it's more healthy to don't think about it that much. Remember also that eventual transitioning would have impact on your whole life, career, friendships, family life and so on, it's impossible to leave it only in your bedroom. You should take this into your consideration and try to decide if this is what you want.

Reddit user Traditional_Bid_5585 (desisted female) recommends tantric yoni massage for healing bodily trauma, praising its ability to create magical intimacy and closeness through full-body massage, special oils, and physical contact, even without a spiritual aspect.
5 pointsAug 29, 2022
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I'm not religious nor spiritual, but tantric yoni massage is absolutely awesome and creates magical intimacy and feeling of closeness, even without its spiritual dimension. Starting with full body massage, using special oils, with a lot of hugs and physical contact.

Reddit user Traditional_Bid_5585 (desisted female) explains why someone questioning their gender may not be trans, advising self-discovery and expression without feeling pressured to transition.
4 pointsAug 30, 2022
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If you don't want to be perceived as a woman, you're probably not trans. I think you're just maturing and you naturally need to discover yourself, experiment with your expression and self-image, and carry a lot of "what if" mental experiments. Remember that it's all okay. It's okay to be "feminine" guy (if you like it, it's not obviously woman-like, cuz butch and gnc women are also women ;)), it's okay to experiment with different expressions, it's okay to show some "woman behaviours" while being a guy, we are people, not machines programmed to be a model feminine or a model masculine. Despite of our sex, we can present ourselves and like whatever we want, sex in this case is just a biological trait like eye or hair colour. I can see that in your case it's just not a time to transition, because you're just somewhat forcing yourself to thinking that you might be trans, while you don't want all of it. Let it stay a mental experiment, at least for now.