This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The user identifies as a desisted male, and their comments are consistent, nuanced, and reflect a personal, introspective journey. They express a complex and evolving viewpoint that is critical of both transmedicalist figures and what they perceive as TERF rhetoric in the detrans subreddit. This level of personal reflection and the sharing of specific coping mechanisms (meditation, marijuana) are not typical of inauthentic accounts.
About me
I started feeling a deep discomfort with being female when I was just a kid, though I never knew why. In my twenties, I explored those feelings online and socially transitioned to non-binary, considering hormones for a while. I realized my dysphoria wasn't constant and that a lot of my anxiety was tied to my own low self-esteem. I decided to stop my social transition, never taking any medical steps. Now I manage my occasional dysphoria with meditation, and I still identify as non-binary.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was very young, around 7 or 8 years old. I remember feeling a deep discomfort that I now know was gender dysphoria, but I could never figure out where it came from. There was no trauma or obvious reason in my past for me to feel that way. It was just a confusing feeling that was always there.
In my early twenties, I started to explore these feelings online and ended up socially transitioning. I identified as non-binary for about eight months. During that time, I thought a lot about medical transition and whether taking hormones was the right path for me. I spent a huge amount of time in online communities, reading and talking to people, which definitely influenced my thinking.
I was really torn about what to do. I believed that if you could imagine yourself on a desert island, completely free from any societal expectations, and you still felt dysphoric about your body, then medical transition was probably the right choice. I thought about my body as just a machine for carrying my consciousness around, and I had to decide what kind of machine I wanted that to be.
But I also had a lot of doubts. I started to realize that a lot of my anxiety was really about my own low self-esteem. I was convinced that everyone was judging me, but I came to understand that was a form of narcissism—it was me hating myself and projecting that onto others. I never ended up taking hormones or getting any surgery. I decided to stop my social transition and desist.
For me, a big reason I stopped was that my dysphoria wasn't constant. I felt fine about 75% of the time, and that made me question if a permanent medical path was necessary. To manage the dysphoria when it does hit, I use meditation. It might sound a bit out there, but focusing on the idea of my consciousness just wearing a body helps me get through it. Sometimes, if that doesn’t work, I use marijuana to help me get to a more neutral state.
I don’t regret exploring my gender, and I don't regret socially transitioning. It was a process I needed to go through to understand myself better. I also don't regret stopping. I benefited from a lot of self-reflection and asking myself hard questions, like what gender really means to me and whether my feelings were tied to societal expectations. I still identify strongly with being non-binary.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's deeply personal and complicated. It's okay to be a feminine man or a masculine trans woman, and vice versa. Brains are all different. I found that the trans communities I was in were actually very supportive of me when I decided to desist, which was a positive experience for me.
I think more psychological screening should happen before people start hormones, but I also believe that for the vast majority of people who pursue medical transition, it is the right path. I was part of a small percentage for whom it wasn't, and that's okay.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 7-8 | First experienced feelings of gender dysphoria. |
| Early 20s | Began socially transitioning as non-binary. |
| 20s (8 months later) | Stopped social transition (desisted). Never took hormones or had surgery. |
| Present | I manage occasional dysphoria through meditation and marijuana. I identify as non-binary. |
Top Comments by /u/Transsensory_Boy:
It may feel like an identity crisis but luckily your 1. 14 and every 14 year old experiments with their identity.
- You've only ever socially transitioned, so at most this will be seen as a phase during your teenage years by both your family and yourself given enough Time.
Dessisted, 8 month social transition, never got to hormones, still have mild gender dysphoria, identify strongly with NB.
I'm fine like 75% of the time, which was the one motivating factors for me desisting from social and stopping perusing medical transition, so I'm probably not the best person to speak to. When it hits, I managed it through meditation, which I know probably sounds woo woo but something about meditating on the philosophical statement of "what is identity? If not a conscious wearing a body" helps me zero in and go over the Why's of what I'm feeling that day.
Might work, might not?
Other than that, I use a lot of marijuana if I can't get myself to a more neutral state unassisted.
You can't sense anyone else's thoughts. What your experiencing is your own brain in self destructive mode. Sure some people may give you the odd look and comment, but those people have their own insecurities and pains to contend with.
The truth is anxiety about other people's perceptions is some of the most narcissistic behaviour a person can engage in. If you convince yourself that strangers hate you then you don't have to confront that it's actually just you, hating yourself.
If you are having doubts, then hold off surgery and explore the feelings with a trusted therapist.
That being said, trying to be something you may not be for a partner never ends well and usually ends up causing rifts. This journey, wherever it leads is for you alone. Don't try to change yourself to accommodate the wishes of another, do the self exploration.
Know yourself to free yourself.
We can't give you any answers I'm afraid, that just comes with time, patience and a whole load of self reflection.
Ww can however give you some questions to ask yourself:
- When did you start to believe you were trans?
- Have you always thought you were trans?
- Had there been anything your life that could of caused disassociation from your body?
- What does it mean to be female to you?
- What does it mean to be male to you?
- If you lived alone without any social expectations, would you still feel this way?
- If you've worked for a "masculine body" or wear clothing that gives a masculine shape, what do you feel when you see yourself?
- Same as above but reversed.
- Have you considered that you may be trans but not binary trans?
- Are you ideas about gender identity wrapped up in sexuality?
Brains are complicated and no two are ever completely the same. Expecting two brains to compute the same data exactly the same is a bit of a fool's errand. It's completely OK to be a feminine man but I also think its completely OK to be a masculine Transwoman and vice versa with women/Transmen.
Is your gender dysphoria only related to your gender expression and expected behaviour based on your sex?
One good thought exercise to do is: Imagine your self on a desert island, both free of any societal expectations but also without basic necessities. When survival has to be your first and foremost priority, if your still having GD about your body, then medical transition is probably right for you. If those feelings no longer apply, then medical transition is probably the wrong path.
Ultimately all bodies go through transition, whether that be from adult to child or in the case of medical transition, from one set of sex characteristics to another. In the end, any body is a simply a complex piece biological machinery that transports consciousness around a three dimensional space.
In isolation from any other societal stimuli, what machine do you want to carry your consciousness around in?
Honestly I don't see that, maybe it's just my experience but every trans person I've talked to has been 100% supportive of me desisting with medical transition and questioning whether I was doing the right thing.
It's only ever transmedicalist youtubers like Blair White and Calvin Garra who've been, how shall we say less than supportive of detrans people.
I very much agree but then there's a lot of inaccurate I formation being reported in this case. So it's a little hard to sift fact from overtly reactionary fiction. Like you, I agree that further psychological screening should happen before HRT is given and blockers should be prescribed while that valuable psychological assessment is done.
Then again I've also heard that only 20% of all GIDs patient are put on blockers, while the remainder are diagnosed with adjacent conditions that are not GIDs but may present similar pathology. Of that small number 99% go on to HRT, so that to me sounds like a 99% rate of accurate diagnosis, with the unfortunate 1% slipping through the net.
So I'm torn tbh about this whole thing because yeah, it does sound like a massive waste of time and moral panic but also safeguarding to further minimise that 1% inaccuracy rate should be done anyway. I just don't think a judge who doesn't have a medical degree should be deciding the fate of someone who is genuinely trans.
I don't think that's necessarily true that dysphoria stems from a painful place. I've had GD since I was 7 or 8 and there's nothing in my history that would give me GD.
If I knew why I felt this way, then atleast I could take steps to address the issue 🤷♂️
Because pointing out that trans communities on the average are actually supportive of detransitioners isn't ideologically compatible with this sub reddit's company line. I generally don't fuck with this sub reddit anymore. It's just full of people spouting TERF rhetoric and offers me nothing as a dessisted male.