This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is highly consistent over a five-year period, detailing a personal journey of desisting, internalized homophobia, and a critique of gender ideology that aligns with common perspectives in the detrans community. The language is nuanced, emotionally varied (passionate, supportive, frustrated), and reflects a lived experience rather than a scripted agenda. The advice given is personal, detailed, and empathetic, which is not typical of automated or troll accounts.
About me
I started hating my female body when I hit puberty early at age 11. I later realized my dysphoria was rooted in internalized homophobia, as I thought being a lesbian was shameful and being a woman was inferior. I identified as a trans man for a while, which was the worst time of my life, but I'm grateful I never medically transitioned. Now, I am a masculine lesbian woman who has found peace and self-acceptance. I believe for many like me, learning to love the body you have is the harder but better path.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was really young. I hit puberty early, getting my first bra and my period at age 11. I hated the changes. I had terrible body dysphoria for years, feeling completely wrong in my own skin. Luckily for me, back then, being transgender wasn't really a known thing, so I never had that option to consider.
A huge part of my struggle was coming to terms with being a lesbian. In the conservative, homophobic environment I grew up in, being a lesbian felt dirty; it was seen as the worst thing you could be. My brain came up with a solution: if I liked girls, then I must actually be a boy. It was a way to escape the shame I felt about being a homosexual woman. It took me years to understand that this was internalized homophobia and misogyny. I believed that being feminine or being a woman was inferior. Why would a girl want to be a boy? Because, deep down, I thought being a woman sucked.
When I was 27, I discovered the concept of being transgender, and I latched onto it. I thought, "This is it! This explains everything." But it was the worst time of my life. I spent ages questioning my entire reality, chasing something that I now see was unachievable: actually becoming a man. I'm so grateful that I did a lot of personal work and managed to desist before making any permanent changes. I never took hormones or had any surgeries.
Looking back, I see that my dysphoria was almost entirely rooted in internalized homophobia and a deep discomfort with the sexist stereotypes I was expected to conform to. The idea of "gender" itself seems flawed to me now; it just reinforces stereotypes. Even identifying as "non-binary" still plays into the idea of a binary you're trying to escape. I believe the goal should be to reject the need to conform to any stereotypes, not to change your body to fit them.
I also see a pattern, especially now, of social contagion. There's a huge rise in young girls identifying as trans, which reminds me of other trends like anorexia in the past. I think it's scary, and I worry that people are rushing into medical changes without dealing with the underlying issues, like past trauma or other mental health struggles. I often advise people to step back from online communities, focus on real-life hobbies and friendships, and give themselves time. Your perspective changes so much as you get older. What feels like an absolute truth at 18 can feel very different at 34.
I don't regret exploring these feelings, but I am deeply relieved I didn't medically transition. I still struggle with parts of my body, like my breasts and hips, but I've learned to see that there's nothing objectively wrong with them. I've worked on self-acceptance. I'm a lesbian woman, I'm masculine, and I'm at peace with that. I don't use the word "cis" because I think it's an absurd term. I'm just a woman who had dysphoria and worked through it.
I'm not against trans people, and I support their rights to live as they need to. But I believe that for many, especially young lesbians, the path of medical transition is not the answer. The better, though harder, path is to learn to love the body you have.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 11 | Hit puberty early, got first period and bra. Experienced intense body dysphoria and hated the changes. |
| Teenage Years | Struggled with accepting I was a lesbian. Felt being a woman was "dirty" and developed internalized homophobia. |
| 27 | Discovered the concept of being transgender and identified as a trans man. Began a period of intense questioning and distress. |
| Late 20s - Early 30s | Did personal work, understood the role of internalized homophobia and misogyny. Began to desist and reject a trans identity. |
| 33+ | Reclaimed identity as a gender non-conforming lesbian woman. Achieved self-acceptance and peace with my body without medical intervention. |
Top Comments by /u/Trendy_Rechauffe:
Sorry to break it to you... but sex can’t be changed. Being male or female is a physical reality, not a feeling or an aesthetic. Same as I will never know what having a penis or being socialised as a boy is, a trans woman will never know what having period cramps or giving birth is. A trans person doesn’t magically become their desired sex by going under the knife, unfortunately. The destination is trans and that’s more than fine. I don’t mean to come across as hateful or transphobic, I do support trans rights, and I am sorry that you’re struggling but trans is trans, and that should be good enough, because that is what makes you, you.
I got my first bra and period at 11. I had the most terrible body dysphoria for years but (luckily) trans was not a thing back then.
I also struggled with my identity because being a lesbian, therefore a woman, was dirty, literally the worst. If I were to like girls (which I really do) then I must be a boy. Years later I understood the level of internalised misogyny and homophobia I had built due to my education and societal environment. Why can't a boy be OK being feminine? Misogyny. Why do girls want to be boys? Misogyny. Because being feminine/a woman sucks. But believe me, not for long, specially if you connect with your power :)
At 27 I discovered transgender and I thought that this was me. Worst time in my life, questioning my whole reality for something unachievable: being a man. But I did a lot of work and I am happy to have desisted. It feels great to feel great in your own skin.
Just my experience if it helps. As other peers are saying you can be yourself without having to surgically/medically alter your body. If you think of it, transgender is deeply rooted into sexist and sexual stereotypes, as it's 85% of times reinforcing binarism and entails a life of medication and collateral physical and mental problems.
All I can tell you now is give yourself time and work in your self acceptance, at some point you'll know if trans is the right path for you. I know it's hard right now but living truly in your nature, instead of hating it is really empowering. I'm 33 now, obvs correctly afab she/her lesbian woman (to clarify using trans slang), never altered my body, and funnily enough I get "misgendered" often which I actually think it's fine. 0 fucks given. In adulthood, I've developed myself to reject stereotypes and show that you can be any type of person you feel you are, but denying reality won't help you in the long term. Also, disclaimer, I am not against trans people, but I see how the trend is getting huge and it's fucking scary, specially amongst teenage girls.
I don't want to sound harsh, I know this must be very hard for you. But please, allow yourself time and the freedom to explore who you really are and take care of your body, it's the only one you'll ever have.
To respond to your edit: that's a very personal thing. But good ol' gender comes up again. Gender as we understand it today didn't exist until relatively recently. It's a system that encourages and reinforces sexist stereotypes. Even "non binary", trying to escape from the binary, reinforce both stereotypes.
No one needs to conform to gender norms or birth sex stereotypes. While transsexuality is not considered a mental illness, gender dysphoria is a very real mental issue that should be addressed with therapy, not drugs and surgeries.
No intention of offending anyone, just sharing my opinion.
Hi there.
Looking at your post history, it looks like you are full of doubts and also have a past of sexual abuse. Red flag.
I am OLD (34) but it feels to me that you are deeply, if not too, involved in online tribes and communities. Red flag.
PLEASE PLEASE hold on on any medical changes, I'm no one to say this but I really have a feeling there's a high chance that you may end up regretting any medical changes. Give yourself time to grow up and mature. Contrary to what everybody thinks, there's always time to transition later in life and for FTMs the results can be as good, if that's what you end up really needing.
Find yourself a good therapist that will help you deal with past and current issues. Not to sound patronising but when I was your age I knew NOTHING compared to what I know now... My advice, take a step back from the Internet (even better, stay away from it for a while) and focus on your real life, your studies, your offline hobbies, your friends and relationships. Go out to nature, observe life, not screens.
I wish you all the best.
Agree with other commenters but I'd like to add, I think there's an element of social contagion. There are studies that point that this phenomenon (trans in this case, eventually leading to detransition) happens more amongst women, you only need to check the statistics of growth amongst trans identifying females. Anorexia in the late nineties is another example of this. It went from being an unknown condition to affect a high ratio of, mostly, young women. Check studies on hysterical contagion and conversion disorder for more info. Hope this makes sense.
I think your experience is very common. I'm older (in my mid 30s) and never underwent any medical procedures. I hit puberty very early and it took me a while to accept I liked women. Back in my time trans was luckily not a thing, but if I had had the words, I would have totally gone that route. I'm from a small place, out of the English speaking West, with a conservative background, ie homophobic society. I was expected to do what women "are supposed to do" - be pretty, get a husband, have kids. I felt extremely wrong for liking girls so in this logic, I should have been a boy (internalised homophobia or should i say self-conversion therapy to erase homosexuality). I dreaded the changes from puberty. I still struggle with my breasts and hips to this day, but accepting my sexuality was key to getting out of my gender confusion and simply accept my body for what it is, and be what I am, a lesbian woman. Still masculine, but still female.
Wish you the best.
Well, have you ever considered that dysphoria eventually goes, even if only partially, away? Do factor that in. Im double your age and i can assure you, ones perspective in many, MANY, things change with time.
I dont know if this is your case, and i am not assuming anything, but at times dysphoria is triggered due to internalised homophobia and/or struggles of change from child to adult. This is my personal experience but when i was your age, being a lesbian was the worst thing that could ever happen to me.
Look for MtF detrans stories, I recently discovered Dustin's story, a sound and lovely detrans man.
It feels to me that you've gone very fast from being a "femboy", whatever that means, to identifying as trans, and that to me is a big red flag. You are just a boy, possibly feminine, possibly effeminate, possibly homosexual, but you definitely sound like a future great fashion designer. You are enough and good as you are, please talk to your therapist and give yourself time. You don't need to conform to outdated sexist stereotypes. Going the hormone route will only make your life difficult in the long term... Please be careful.
From a GC/biological perspective it's not, aka a woman cannot become a man and viceversa, regardless of surgeries/hormones. Although one can pretend and be ok with that.
From a human pov, it's a reality, trans people exist and some need to live that way and are happier after transitioning. The question is, is it really worth it?
Being a whore sounds quite demeaning and certainly won't help. My advice: eat healthy, workout, dress masc if that's how you feel comfortable. Don't overthink your body, it's what you have, make the best out of it and give it the love it deserves. I know this won't make sense to you, but at some point something might click in your brain and you'll be able to reach self acceptance. I'm desisted and still don't love my body, particularly my breast, but I've learnt to actually realise there's nothing wrong with it, and that it's actually, objectively, beautiful. I'm far from feminine btw.