My journey with transition and detransition wasn't my own, but something I watched happen to my child. Reading the stories here, my heart breaks for all of you, and I hope my own child finds the same peace I pray for you to find.

Looking back, I believe my child was influenced heavily online and by friends. The discomfort started around puberty, a deep unhappiness with their developing body. They hated their breasts and talked about them constantly. I now see this was mixed up with a lot of anxiety and depression that wasn't really about gender at all. There was a lot of escapism, too, getting lost in online worlds where they could be someone else.

I tried to be supportive, thinking it was the right thing to do. They started identifying as non-binary first, and then later as a trans man. They socially transitioned, changing their name and pronouns. I supported it because I was told it was the only way to prevent suicide. I was scared, and the health professionals we saw only ever affirmed this path. They never once pumped the brakes or tried to explore the deeper reasons for this pain. They became willing participants in an agenda, and my child became a victim of that. I now see that what my child needed was non-affirming therapy to work through their trauma and other issues, not just a quick fix to change their body.

They started testosterone. I was so worried about the long-term effects, about the permanent changes, but I felt I had to choose between a living daughter or a dead one. It was an impossible position to be put in. Now, they are dealing with serious health complications from the hormones and are now infertile. This is a grief I carry every day, that they may never be able to have their own children because of decisions made when they were so young and in so much pain.

My thoughts on gender are that it became a simple answer to a very complex set of problems. It was a solution that didn't require them to dig into the hard, painful stuff. I don't think they are fundamentally a man. I think they are a woman who was deeply uncomfortable with the pressures of being a woman and was suffering from other mental health issues that got completely overlooked.

Do I have regrets? I have nothing but regrets. I regret not asking more questions. I regret not challenging the doctors more. I regret not seeing past the immediate crisis to the long-term damage that was being done. I regret that my child felt this was their only option. My biggest regret is that I didn't protect them when they needed it most.

Here is a timeline of what happened: