This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's story is detailed, emotionally nuanced, and consistent over a three-year period. They share specific personal experiences (e.g., living stealth, UK healthcare interactions, hair loss, autism) that reflect the complex, often frustrating reality of detransition. The passion and criticism align with the expected perspective of someone who feels harmed by the system.
About me
I never felt like I fit in with other girls, and my discomfort with my female body led me to start testosterone. I lived as a man for three years before realizing, while out in nature, that altering my body wasn't the right path for me. I stopped hormones and have been living as female again, but I'm completely alone in this as the medical system offered no support. I now see my dysphoria was tied to my autism and the difficulties of puberty. I regret not getting the right therapy first, and I'm just trying to find peace in my own skin.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition is complicated and, looking back, deeply tied to my mental health. I am autistic, and I think that played a huge part in how I experienced the world and my own body. I never felt like I fit in with other girls, and that feeling got a lot worse during puberty. I hated my breasts and the changes my body was going through; it just felt wrong and uncomfortable.
I started my medical transition by getting testosterone off the black market. I felt like I couldn't wait for the official system. Because I was doing that, my general doctor had to refer me to an endocrinologist, who then prescribed me legally. That referral was surprisingly quick, only taking about two months. I was on testosterone for three years.
Living as a man, I went stealth. When I moved into my current apartment, all my neighbours assumed I was male and still do to this day. Detransitioning from living stealth is incredibly awkward. Now all my neighbours must think I'm a weird MtF. I'm autistic, so I don't interact with people much, and I can't explain my situation to anyone. It's like I can't escape the transgender label, even though I've been living 100% female again for a long time now.
I also struggled with internalised homophobia. I'm attracted to women, and before my dysphoria got bad, I felt uneasy about presenting in a way that might attract male attention. I felt a lot of societal pressure to wear makeup, like my sister did, but it never felt right for me. It seemed like an awful lot of effort, and I just preferred a natural look.
My moment of realisation came when I was about three years on T. I started hiking and spending a lot of time out in the woods, observing nature. I had this epiphany that what I was doing to my body was not 'natural'. I realised that nature doesn't lie or hide anything; it just 'is'. I understood that I was in direct contradiction to that and was never going to find true happiness or peace by continuing. That was the moment I knew I had to stop.
Coming off testosterone was hard. My emotions became much more intense, which was a real struggle. I had bad skin problems, like back acne, for the first couple of months. My hair was also falling out more after I stopped, which was scary, but it eventually calmed down. I think I stopped T just in time to avoid major hair loss. I began growing baby hairs in the previously bald patches about a month after stopping. They're still fine, but they're coming back, which gives me hope.
The medical system completely failed me when I needed help the most. When I told the gender clinic I was having doubts and wanted therapy to help overcome my dysphoria instead of continuing transition, they said they didn't offer that service. They swiftly discharged me with no care whatsoever. My GP doesn't know anything about this stuff either. I’ve been completely on my own in my detransition journey. I had to go cold turkey off the hormones. A recent referral back to the endocrinologist to monitor my hormones has taken over six months with no appointment, which just shows how little support there is.
Do I have regrets? Yes, I do. I regret not understanding that my dysphoria was a phase that came and went, and that it was tied to my autism and the discomfort of puberty. I regret not getting the right kind of therapy first. I benefited greatly from just getting out into nature and having that space to think clearly. I don't think I was ever truly trans; I think I was a confused lesbian who didn't know how to be comfortable in my own skin. My thoughts on gender now are that it's not as simple as we're often told, and for some people, like me, trying to change your body is not the right path to peace.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Around Puberty | Started hating my breasts and experiencing intense discomfort with female puberty. |
| 27 | Started taking testosterone obtained from the black market. |
| 27 | Officially prescribed testosterone after a 2-month referral to an endocrinologist. |
| 30 | Realised I needed to detransition after an epiphany while hiking in nature. |
| 30 | Stopped testosterone cold turkey and began living as female again. |
| 30 | Noticed baby hairs beginning to grow back in bald patches about 1 month after stopping T. |
| 30-31 | Experienced intense emotions and skin problems (back acne) for the first few months after stopping T. |
| 31 | Was discharged from the gender clinic after asking for non-affirming therapy to deal with dysphoria. |
Top Comments by /u/Turborocker5000:
Also, about hair loss. I think I stopped T at just the right time. Any longer and I think I would've lost the lot at the front there!Anyone who has worries about hair loss and detransitioning, I say don't be too disheartened. My hair is starting to grow back in the previously bald patches. I began growing baby hairs around a month after stopping T. They're still rather fine baby hairs, but they're getting there. I know people say the hair loss is permanent, but for me, it's certainly coming back. But it takes a long time. Nevertheless, the hope is there.
This is actually how I came to the realisation that I should detransition. I was on T for 3 years. I began hiking and sitting out in the woods, observing nature around me and came to the epiphany that what I was doing to myself and my body was not 'natural'. I realised that nature doesn't lie. Nature doesn't hide anything. Nature just 'is'. What I was doing to myself was in direct contradiction to that and I was never going to be happy or at peace. Nature is a great healer and we would all do well to get out a little more :) Sending good vibes
A light-hearted anecdote, but I was stealth (FtM) when I moved into my current apartment. All my neighbours assumed (and still to this day assume I'm male). Detransitioning from living stealth is awkward as hell because now all my neighbours think I'm a weird MtF. I'm autistic, so I don't interact with people so I can't explain my situation to anyone. It's like I can't escape the transgenderism, even having been living 100% female the past 7 months or so.
I live in the UK, so you'd think money would not be a motivating factor, but I do have a similar experience.
I started my medical transition by getting testosterone off the black market, so my general doctor had to refer me to an endo, who then prescribed me legally. I was seen by an endo pretty quick. The referral probably took no longer than 2 months.
Since detransitioning, I've been re-referred to the endo to monitor my hormones and this referral was sent out 6 months ago... still nothing.
I also explicitly asked the gender clinic to be referred to a therapist who could help me overcome dysphoria and possibly prevent it manifesting again (I go through phases of having dysphoria, then not having it). They said they didn't offer such service and I've ben discharged from them with no care whatsoever. The system is screwed up and begging for some major law suits, honestly.
The same ideologues who say this, also tell others to believe someone is trans if they say so and not question it.
Ultimately, I don't care. I know my own life. I know what I experienced (and sex dysphoria is very very real). If someone says I was never trans... well ok. If that's what you want to think. At the end of the day, they're simply seeking validation for themselves. They want to prove to the world and convince themselves that THEY are trans, and if they see someone detransitioned, well that jeopardises their security a little, so they create a distance; "You were never really trans".
Thank you so much for your kind words!
That's a good question regarding make up. I've never been properly into make up. For the most part, I'm not particularly bothered about it. Before gender dysphoria hit, I would wear some here and there... not all the time, but sometimes I felt a little pressured by my sister (who's really into make up) and I felt I had to be like her in a way. But I've also always felt uneasy, because I didn't want to attract male attention (I'm attracted to women). Obviously all this vanished when I developed intense dysphoria.
Now I've detransition, I sort of had the urge to buy a couple of things... not much. Just a couple of lip colours, mascara. I don't like how long it all takes to apply... it seems an awful lot of effort to me.
I suppose what I'm saying is I'm not big on make up, but I felt a fair amount of societal pressure to wear it. But I get the odd occasion where I feel 'hmm, that would be nice to try on' you know? I'm certainly not into all this arty stuff you see these days. I just prefer the 'natural look' if I do wear it.
The gender clinic is not just 'shitty' for detrans stuff - it's literally non existent. When I told them I was having doubts about pursuing medical transition, but still wanted help for dysphoria (therapy or something) I was literally told they couldn't provide this and there was nothing more they could do and I was swiftly discharged (for which there was a 3 year waiting list at the time).
GP knows bugger all. So I've been on my own in my detrans journey.
I just went cold turkey. I don't know your situation or how long you've been on hormones. I was on them 3 years. I'm sad to say that I don't think there is much help out there for us. I wish you luck on your journey.
My hair honestly seems to have been falling out more since I stopped T
Oh snap.. not just me then! I've noticed this exact thing too. I did a little search on google for 'healthy rate of hair loss'. Of course, hair naturally sheds as part of it's cycle and we can lose between 50-100 strands a day. As your hair grows longer, it's going to be way more noticeable as well. I'm worried about this too as it seems like I'm losing more hair, but honestly, it could simply be healthy shedding and nothing to be concerned about.
Thank you for this list of changes you're experiencing. It's a good guide.. we're all too used to seeing the changes on T and what to expect. It's refreshing to finally see changes off synthetic hormones and how the body adapts.
My skin was the same in the first couple of months (I especially suffered with bad backcne) I'm rough 7 months off T and it's calmed down considerably. Everyone is different of course, but I think you'll run into these problems in the first several months because your hormones are all out of wack. Persevere. It will get better.
It's probably a lot to do with the demographics around me haha. I live in sheltered housing, and I'm the only young person here (I'm 30). I imagine the whole concept of trans is incredibly confusing to pensioners. I have a neighbour who was very nice to me when I moved in. He would greet me whenever I saw him with 'Aye up young chap!'Now he avoids me.
*edit for spelling