This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor. The comments demonstrate:
- Nuanced and consistent perspective: The user consistently advises caution and self-reflection without being aggressive, which aligns with a genuine desister/detransitioner perspective.
- Natural conversation flow: The user engages in a back-and-forth, directly responding to points made by others in a coherent, context-aware manner.
- Empathetic and personal tone: The language is empathetic ("It's going to be okay") and reflects personal opinion based on observed community experiences, not scripted talking points.
The account behaves like a thoughtful, passionate individual engaged in the community.
About me
I got swept up in identifying as non-binary in my late teens because of my online circles, thinking it was the answer to my deep discomfort with my developing female body. I now see that my issues were rooted in anxiety and body dysmorphia, not in being the wrong gender. I used the idea of a different gender as escapism because I didn't want to be myself. After therapy focused on my self-esteem, I realized changing my identity wasn't fixing my real problems. Letting it all go was a relief, and I'm now comfortable just living as a woman.
My detransition story
Looking back on my whole experience with gender, my main feeling is that I got caught up in something without fully understanding why I was doing it. I never had any medical procedures, but I identified as non-binary for a few years in my late teens. A lot of my thinking was influenced by the online communities I was in and by my friends at the time. It felt like the right thing to do because everyone was talking about it and it seemed like an answer to the general discomfort I felt.
I had a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem growing up. Puberty was really uncomfortable for me; I hated the changes, especially developing breasts. I didn't feel like they belonged on my body. At the time, I thought this meant I wasn't really a woman. Now, I see it was more about body dysmorphia and just a general unhappiness with growing up. I think I was using the idea of being non-binary as a form of escapism from my own life and my own body. I didn't want to be me, and transitioning socially felt like a way to become someone else.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's become way too complicated. I see a parallel sometimes to what I read about in other countries, where gay people are forced to transition to fit in. It seems like in our culture, we are sometimes willingly doing something similar to ourselves, forcing ourselves into a different box to try and find comfort, when maybe the problem isn't the box we're in, but the pressure to fit into any box at all. I don't believe there's a "true self" inside that's a different gender. I think we are just ourselves, and we have to find a way to be comfortable with that.
I don't regret my social transition in a huge, life-altering way because I didn't do anything permanent. But I do regret not looking deeper into why I felt the way I did. I wish I had explored my anxiety and self-esteem issues more directly instead of latching onto a gender identity as the solution. I benefited a lot from therapy later on that wasn't focused on affirming a gender identity, but on understanding the roots of my discomfort. It helped me realize that changing my pronouns and name wasn't going to fix the underlying problems.
In the end, I just stopped. It was a gradual process of realizing that the non-binary identity wasn't making me any happier; it was just another set of rules to follow. Letting it go felt like a relief.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 16 | Started feeling intense discomfort with my body during puberty, particularly hated my breasts. |
| 17-18 | Influenced by online friends and communities, I began identifying as non-binary and used a different name and pronouns. |
| 19 | Started therapy that focused on my anxiety and self-esteem, not on gender affirmation. Began to question my reasons for identifying as non-binary. |
| 20 | Stopped identifying as non-binary and returned to living as a woman. This was a personal decision, not a dramatic event. |
Top Comments by /u/UncleIrohsPimpHand:
Seems a strange reason, but if your faith is that important to you, by all means follow that faith to its end. Perhaps a more fulfilling approach to this would be your examination of why you feel this way. Is there a scriptural reason why you can't transition or is it a social one? I'm not trying to sway you one way or another, but your post makes me feel that you're having trouble reconciling different aspects of yourself.
Just know that the more self-exploration you do, the better you'll feel and will be able to reconcile the different aspects of yourself. It's going to be okay.
I mean, you should feel compelled to do what you need to to feel comfortable with yourself. But there are so many detrans stories on this sub about people who transitioned in their teens because they were uncomfortable with one part of their bodies or another and then suddenly at 18 or 19 changed their minds. I just suggest that you think very carefully about doing something irrevocable like that.
I think they are in a space where they don't need more people telling them that their beliefs aren't real. They have chosen faith as their means of steadying themselves while they sort out their gender identity issues, so again, saying that faith is misplaced still isn't helpful. Inserting your own personal agenda into their turmoil is even worse. Let them be. There's more to life than being right all the time. You should find a hobby. Perhaps trivia?
Again, as I said, do what you feel you need to do. Just try to be cognizant of the reasons why you want to do it and remember why you're uncomfortable with it. Body modifications can carry health risks and this community has seen no shortage of "buyer's remorse" stories, and many often blame it on societal programming and the pervasiveness of different trans cultures. That's not really the case for you, but the whole body modification thing is relatable.
I mean, if you're asking a community that has some serious regrets about having medical procedures done to them that affect their sexual characteristics, but want to find out if you should go ahead with yours, I'm not sure what kind of answer you're looking for when you ask us if we'd be okay with what you are doing from a cultural standpoint. You know what I mean?
So I guess it all comes back to you then. Are you wanting affirmation or are you looking for us to talk you out of it? Ultimately we can only give you a small aspect of feedback according to our context, but yours is apparently different. The buck will always stop with you. If you want this, you'll go for it and deal with the consequences. If you decide you don't, you'll deal with those consequences. Having boobs or not doesn't have to affect your identity, if you don't want it to.
But it's kinda how you phrased your question though. "Can a ciswoman still want a double mastectomy?" It's like you're looking for affirmation for the choice you're making. The answer is unequivocally that you're still a woman if you don't have boobs. So I'd say from my interpretation it kind of is.
But if it's not about your gender identity, then so be it.
Sorry.
It's basically the idea that whatever you're feeling is your truth, and your truth is as legitimate as, or is the Truth. Where lower case-t truth is your perception of reality and the capital-T Truth is Reality. Post-modernism basically makes them equal. If that makes sense.
It's such an odd thing to me in hindsight. It reminds me of an old headline I read out of Iran where gay and lesbian Iranians could not legally exist by Koranic law, so in order to conform with their "urges," transitions were forced upon them so they would match up properly with the male/female coupling expectation rather than allow male/male and female/female couples. It just seems odd that in some cases western people would willingly do to themselves what is forced on others for the sake of conformity in another culture. All while denying themselves health or happiness because they feel that in their order to fit into a box, they are they have to undergo a major physical change. There are other ways, and so many refuse to open themselves up to it until it's too late.