This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's posts are detailed, highly personal, and internally consistent, describing a specific narrative of desisting after years of gender confusion. The language is nuanced and passionate, reflecting the expected emotional investment of someone sharing a difficult personal experience. The advice given (e.g., specific medical procedures in New Mexico) is oddly specific but not in a way that suggests automated copying; it reads as anecdotal.
About me
I grew up a tomboy and felt like an outsider compared to my feminine sisters, a feeling my stepdad reinforced by praising my "masculine" interests. I spent years confused about my gender and lived as a trans man, thinking it was my truth. Giving birth to my daughter was a huge turning point that made me feel powerfully connected to being female. I now see my journey was about internalized misogyny and societal stereotypes, not being born in the wrong body. I am finally at peace as a masculine woman who is also autistic and bisexual.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a kid. I was a huge tomboy and never felt like I fit in with my sisters, who were very pretty and feminine. I felt like an outsider. My stepdad really reinforced this idea. He’d give me books about boys having adventures and historical male role models, and he’d always comment on how my hobbies and career goals were things that "mostly boys" did. I internalized the message that if I wasn't a pretty, feminine girl, then maybe I wasn't a girl at all.
This was back in the 90s and early 2000s, and there wasn't a lot of information or support for someone like me. I spent decades feeling genuinely confused about my gender. For about five years, I lived as a trans man, and for even longer than that, I identified as non-binary or genderqueer. I really thought that was my truth.
Looking back, I see now that a lot of my feelings were tied up in internalized misogyny. I didn't think a woman could be the person I wanted to be—a person who liked camping, had "masculine" career ambitions, and wore boots. I also realize that being autistic played a part; I’ve always felt different and struggled to fit in, and latching onto a trans identity felt like an explanation for that feeling.
A huge turning point for me was giving birth to my daughter. That experience made me feel incredibly, powerfully feminine in a way I had never felt before. It was like a switch flipped. I suddenly realized that I wasn't a man; I was a woman who just didn't fit the stereotypical mold. I'm a bisexual autistic woman, and that's okay.
I don't regret my entire journey because it led me to where I am now, and it taught me a lot about myself. But I do regret that I didn't have better guidance or someone to tell me that it was okay to be a masculine woman. I regret that I felt I had to change my body to fit into a box. I never had surgery or took hormones for transition purposes, but I did pursue a hysterectomy later for personal, non-gender-related reasons. I believe strongly in bodily autonomy; if a procedure makes you more comfortable in your skin, that's your right, whether it's related to transition or not.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's incredibly complex and deeply personal. For me, it wasn't about being born in the wrong body; it was about being born into a society with very rigid and harmful stereotypes about what a body should be. I benefited from stepping away from those labels and just learning to be myself.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood | Felt like a tomboy, different from my feminine sisters. Internalized messages from my stepdad that my interests were for boys. |
| Teen Years (2000s) | Felt extreme discomfort during puberty. Struggled with identity and feeling like I didn't belong as a girl. |
| Early 20s | Began identifying as non-binary/genderqueer, questioning my gender for years. |
| Mid 20s | Lived as a trans man for approximately 5 years. |
| 30 | Gave birth to my daughter. This experience caused a profound shift, making me feel feminine and leading me to desist. |
| 32 | Underwent a hysterectomy (uterus only, keeping ovaries) for personal health reasons, not as part of a transition. |
Top Comments by /u/Undispjuted:
1.) Puberty is uncomfortable and makes everyone uncomfortable in their bodies. Everyone.
2.) Social aspect: lots and lots and LOTS of attention and a chance to both stand out AND be part of an exclusive group.
3.) Teenagers are looking for their identity as part of their development. I know I tried on a whole bunch of personality traits, mannerisms, and interests.
4.) As part of growing up, we separate from our parents and become our own person, often dramatically. What better way (unconsciously) to separate oneself from the values/lifestyle of the parents by claiming a whole ass different gender? Kids used to get into rock and roll music, controversial politics, travel, whatever: for this generation it’s gender wars.
None of that is meant to be dismissive or condescending; I went through it all too.
I gave birth to a daughter and started feeling extremely feminine. I think I was not ever trans, I had a lot of internalized misogyny and since my sisters were extremely beautiful and feminine and I wasn’t I somehow thought if I wasn’t pretty, I must not be a girl. This was in the 90’s and fairly early 2000’s so there were fewer resources etc.
I thought I was trans for 5+/- years and was genuinely gender confused for decades and in my case it was a combination of being thrust into “masculine” roles, preferring “men’s” career paths, and being openly encouraged to think of myself as masculine because I was a tomboy and very much not a pretty feminine girl.
I am in fact a bisexual autistic woman who went through the “if I’m not traditionally girly, I must be a boy.” My stepdad reinforced that with “your sisters are pretty and feminine, since you’re not pretty and like camping, here’s 700 books on boys doing cool stuff and 300,000 male role models from history and a lot of commentary on how mostly boys like all your hobbies and women can’t succeed at your career goals.” And I ended up spending 5 years living as a trans man and more thinking I was non-binary or genderqueer when really I’m just… a woman with boots.
I’m desisted. Listen, if you’re not claiming it’s a surgery to do with transness, if it’s just cosmetic surgery to make you more comfortable with your body… who cares? Bodily autonomy means for everyone, and I will fight anyone who wants to deny you yours.
Go to New Mexico where the doctors are very liberal about what services they will provide and request a hysterectomy. Get the one that only removed the uterus and not the ovaries so you don’t screw up your hormones. Explain everything you said above. They will make the state pay for it. This is how I got sterilized and my doc said if I’m not happy with my ligation for any reason at any time, come request a hysto and he’ll do it.