This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments show:
- Consistent, nuanced personal philosophy focused on self-love, skepticism of group identity, and caution regarding medicalization.
- Empathetic engagement with others, offering support and asking probing questions rather than issuing scripted commands.
- A believable personal narrative that aligns with a desister perspective (a person who stopped identifying as trans without necessarily having medically transitioned).
The passion and criticism of gender ideology are consistent with the stated experiences of many detransitioners and desisters.
About me
I started questioning my gender in my mid-twenties, influenced by online communities where I was searching for a sense of belonging. I realized my pull away from being female came from low self-esteem and a hatred of social expectations, not a true identity. After stepping back from all labels for several years, I focused on self-improvement and therapy to understand my real self. I now see that my value isn't tied to gender, and I identify as a female and a lesbian, which are just small parts of who I am. I found true peace by learning to love myself from the inside out and focusing on being a good human being.
My detransition story
My journey with all of this wasn't a straight line from transition to detransition. For me, it was more about a slow realization that I had been looking for answers in the wrong places. I never took hormones or had any surgeries. My experience was mostly social and internal, a lot of questioning and trying on different labels to see what fit.
Looking back, I think a lot of my initial pull towards identifying as something other than my birth sex came from a place of low self-esteem and not really knowing who I was. I hated the expectations that came with being female, and I think I was influenced a lot by what I saw online. It seemed like everyone was finding this new identity and community, and I wanted that sense of belonging. I started out thinking I was non-binary, but even that started to feel like another box I was forcing myself into.
The big turning point for me was when I decided to step back from all the labels and groups. I spent about five years single, just focusing on myself and my own self-improvement. I stopped worrying about what group I belonged to and started focusing on what kind of person I wanted to be. I realized that what truly matters isn't your gender or your sexual orientation, but the content of your character. I'm a lesbian, but that's just one small part of me. It doesn't define me. I'm defined by the love and kindness I try to show to everyone.
I started to see that the whole system, especially in the United States, has become a huge for-profit industry. I looked it up once; the surgery market alone is worth billions. That doesn't even include hormones and therapy. It made me question how much of this is driven by genuine care and how much is driven by money. Our healthcare system is rigged, and now we're letting it make fast decisions for kids as young as four. That seems incredibly dangerous to me. Kids make mistakes as they learn about the world, and they shouldn't be able to make irreversible decisions.
I don't have regrets about transitioning because I didn't medically transition. But I do have regrets about getting so caught up in the ideology. I regret the time I spent thinking that changing my identity was the key to happiness, when the real key was learning to love myself from the inside out. I believe that if you don't love yourself first, you'll be miserable no matter what you do to your body. The real work is internal therapy, understanding your trauma, if you have autism or OCD, and finding the root cause of your discomfort.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's been made way too important. We're humans first. We should be defined by our internal values, not our body parts. The pressure to have a specific gender identity feels like just another way to put people in boxes. I think people should be free to do what they want with their own bodies, but only if they are mature enough to give real consent and have been given all the facts, all the risks, and have explored every other possible reason for their feelings first. It should be an absolute last resort, a need, not just a want.
I also think the conversation around this has become so polarized. You have one side that wants to ban everything and another that wants no questions asked. There's no room for people in the middle, for asking questions, for being cautious. That's not healthy. We need to be able to talk about this honestly without being called names.
Ultimately, my journey taught me that peace comes from within. You don't have to fit into a label. What matters is fostering relationships with good people, regardless of what groups they belong to. I found my happiness by stepping away from it all and focusing on being a good human being.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Mid-20s | Started questioning my gender identity, influenced by online communities. Identified as non-binary. |
| 26 | Began a period of stepping back from all labels and groups. Focused on self-improvement and therapy to understand my low self-esteem. |
| 31 (Present) | Came to a place of understanding that my value isn't tied to gender. I now identify as a female and a lesbian, but see these as small parts of my whole character. |
Top Comments by /u/UsedIntroduction:
This is projection. They fear detrans people so they pretend they do not exist, are not real people, or hate them. You are not allowed to be a detrans ally because they fear this and will call you names. the hate is a projection of themselves. They are doing exactly what the masses used to do to trans people. For example using the small percentage as a reason why they don't exist or shouldn't matter. The same used to be said about trans people.
Its also extremely harmful to say parents who know nothing about being in the LGBTQ world should make life changing decision on what a 4 year old says. It's also extremely dangerous to treat a 12 year old's psych the same as a fully grown adult. There is a reason why there are age laws on everything we do in society pretty much. Kids make mistakes as they learn the world around them. They shouldn't be able to make mistakes on things that harm in the long run and is irreversible.
it is a billion dollar industry.
As of 2022 its 2.1 billion dollar industry expected to grow to 5 billion by 2030.
Edit: for source and to edit this only counts for sexual reassignment surgery in the United States.
https://www.grandviewresearch.com/press-release/us-sex-reassignment-surgery-market-analysis
The amount for therapy and hormones for other trans people are not included in this study.
The problem with your standpoint and everyone else's as well is that trans is being treated as a soul in the wrong body. For this to be real means religion is real, bc religion is the only viewpoint where anyone exists as a soul outside of their body. religion has caused wars throughout human history. This now makes this an extremely difficult topic.
Hi friend, there is no hate here. If you end up trans or detrans then it is no one else's place to judge. Please just remember you inside is loved. There is no gender that changes who YOU are. There is no need to run, there is no need to hide, there is no need to killyourself off. The only way to find peace is to forgive and love yourself and focus within and not without. Doesn't matter what you choose your body to look like. If you need a friend you can DM me anytime.
My friend those feelings of self hatred is most likely why you wanted to transition in the first place. It's why you want to transition back, and how you will feel if you detrans or never transitioned at all. Because if you don't love yourself inside first, you will always be miserable due to the thief of comparison.
The way to fix this is to seek therapy and work on yourself to understand why you feel have always felt this way and find the root cause.
I am so sorry to hear this. I know this doesn't account for all those into transitioning, but I am here if you just want to talk. I am not a therapist and I am not a professional, but I do care and hope you know that you are not alone, no matter which path in life you choose. Please know I care and there are many more.
There are plenty of us!!!!! I think the problem is many of us have been silenced and just live independently outside the cult groups. So it's hard to meet us because there isn't a support group just for us. Many of us may be mistaken for straight because we hang out with straight people and have normal looking lives. I don't wear rainbow flags or promote my sexual orientation to the world because that's no one else's business and I am not defined by the people I am attracted to. I also am not defined by my physical characteristics. I am defined by the love and kindness I try to promote to everyone from all walks of life. I am attracted to people for who they are in the inside. Love isn't about physical attraction, that's just lust.
I agree with this so much. I personally don't like the pressure of being defined by physical characteristics and how the importance is put on gender. We are humans. Humans that are loved and cherished. We all have great things and also weaknesses. We should be defined by character and internal values not by physical body parts and appearances
It's situational. If you had good therapy, are over 21, and took time before making the decision and were warned about all the facts and consequences with valid warnings and education.... Then you are responsible. But with the healthcare system I doubt there are many if any cases like this.
If you did not have an adequate doctor, did not know the repercussions, or were underage in any way , then it is not your burden to bare. People should be held responsible for their influence and medical practices for neglecting the overall health of their patients.