This story is from the comments by /u/ValiMeyer that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments, the account appears authentic. The user consistently identifies as a 60+ year-old ally and relative of someone transitioning, not a detransitioner themselves. There are no serious red flags suggesting it's a bot or inauthentic. The comments show a consistent, empathetic, and knowledgeable perspective focused on support and sharing resources, which aligns with a concerned family member.
About me
I watched someone I love get swept into transition by friends at 23, and it felt like they were being led, not finding their own way. I believe their journey was a maladaptive coping mechanism for deep trauma, not their true self. I am terrified by the medical risks, having seen the devastating effects of these powerful drugs firsthand. I hope they find an exit ramp without permanent damage and receive the love and support they truly need. My heart aches for all the young people who are on this path.
My detransition story
My journey isn't my own, but that of a young person I love very much. I watched from the sidelines, heartbroken, as they were swept up into the transgender whirlpool. It started when they were around 23. They came under the influence of a childhood friend who had transitioned male-to-female, and then a work colleague, who was also trans, essentially diagnosed them and guided them to a specific gender therapist and support group. It felt like they were being led, not finding their own way.
From my own life, I can relate to some of the feelings they might have been having. When I was a girl growing up in the 60s, I hated everything about being female. I hated dolls, dresses, and anything girly. I refused to wear a bra until I was practically forced to. All my imaginative play was in male roles—I was a pirate, a jockey, a scientist. I felt completely disconnected from the girls around me and was baffled by puberty. If I had been born in their time, with the internet and social media, I wonder if I might have been led down the same path. But I didn't have that option, and I eventually grew into a straight woman who is comfortable being a bit of a weirdo.
Watching my loved one, I saw so many red flags that pointed to this being a maladaptive coping mechanism, not their true self. Their father is mentally ill, with severe OCD and homophobia, and this felt like the ultimate "fuck you" to him. It seemed like a way to deal with deep, unaddressed trauma. I've read extensively, and it’s my strong belief that for many females, this path is often related to trauma, and for males, it can be a mix of trauma and things like autogynephilia. I also saw a frightening resemblance between the aggressive trans activism and the psychology of closed mind-control systems, something I experienced firsthand having spent 26 years in a strict religious cult. The love-bombing, the special language, the suppression of questioning—it was all so familiar and dangerous.
I am terrified of the medical risks. My husband is on Lupron for prostate cancer, a form of chemical castration, and it has devastated his body. To see a healthy young person volunteer to put those same powerful, destructive chemicals into their body is unbelievable and irresponsible. There is no longitudinal research to say these treatments are safe, and I fear they are part of a massive, uncontrolled medical experiment. The fact that underlying issues like depression, anxiety, autism, and trauma are no longer treated first, before medical intervention, is a profound failure of the mental health system.
My thoughts on gender are that it is being horribly over-complicated. We are biological beings, and this movement seems to be about destroying the binary only to enforce a new, stricter one. You can be a female who hates dresses and loves pirates, or a male who is sensitive and gentle, without needing to medically alter your body. Your body is a wonderful, integrated creation; you only get one, and it deserves to be treated with respect and care.
My greatest hope is that my loved one finds the exit ramp without permanent damage. If they were to detransition, I would never, ever say "I told you so." I would surround them with love and support because that’s what you do for people you cherish. My regret is that this happened to them, that they were so influenced and didn't get the help they truly needed for their deeper psychological pain. I regret that our society and medical establishment have failed them.
I don't know if they have any serious health complications or are now infertile; that is their private journey. But my heart aches for all the young people who are and who will be. I send all my support to those fighting to become champions in their own lives. Be brave. Rely on the people who would walk through fire for you. Don't give up.
Here is a timeline of what I witnessed:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 23 | Came out as male-to-female transgender, influenced by friends. Began seeing a gender therapist recommended by them. |
| 23 | Started cross-sex hormones. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/ValiMeyer:
Oh my dear precious one!!! Such emotion. You were so deeply wounded & didn’t deserve it. You have enormous insight & a powerful tiger’s voice!!!! You are on the path to healing: put your body & soul health at the top priority. The world needs your amazing gifts.
Just gonna say it: “internalized transphobia “ is a way to gaslight de transitioners into not trusting their internal guidance. How do I know? I lived under the influence of an authoritarian group for 26 years.
I very much appreciate the way you phrased it: “psychological splintering”. Exactly.
You will heal!!
Kudos to those young women who are speaking out against medical abuse. it reminds me of the lobotomy cure of the early 20th century. These women are taking on powerful forces. I hope each and every one find comfort in their bodies and souls, and fellowship among the "sisterhood" of women, no matter what flavor or color.
Good article.
I'm just an old person ally here w a family interest. I will say, having belonged to an actual strict cult-like religion for 26 years, ALL of the aggressive trans stuff bears an eerie resemblance to the psychology operating in closed mind control systems. I wish you the best of luck going forward.
I can tell you about Lupron: my beloved husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 prostate cancer 11/4/2017. After radical surgery and radiation, he must now take Lupron the rest of his life, or until it stops working (god forbid). when i heard the words, "chemical castration", i vomited.
The changes he's had to endure are horrible: within 2 weeks, his penis started to disappear. Within a month, he grew breasts. His insulin metabolism has changed, leading to weight gain (30#s) and a very weird body fat distribution: all up front: muscle wasting: so he has skinny arms and an oversize stomach. Body hair loss and skin texture changes; his body is no longer the masculine body he lived in for 63 years, and was part of the man i met & fell in love with. If i could take it on me, i would.
Lupron is no joke. It breaks my heart to see him go through this, and to think that healthy young people volunteer to wreck their bodies with a powerful drug never meant to be part of their metabolism.
Not to be glib but just a brief reply: if dressing male & male haircut helps, why not do that? It’s easy, & doesn’t have the potential side effects of T. In this day & age, people can pretty much wear/present however they want. That’s all iltsay for this note: lots to unpack in your post. I’m sorry you are suffering.
I would only qualify this by saying “not all” religious organizations are not “your friend”. People (myself included) can be wounded/traumatized by religious orgs. The converse can be true: people can find support & acceptance in a faith community. If they are hurting you, they’re not healthy. It’s that simple.
This sounds mentally healthy. Not deceiving yourself about what your biological reality is: you are aware of, and choosing, strong drugs being used off-label. Shaping your body in a way that works for you....i don't personally see the problem. Are you centered in yourself? Are you building up your character? Are you taking on challenges? Are you making an effort to help others? As long as you are working on yourself, and moving forward, i don't think you should worry about how you look or dress. Hope this helps! good luck on your journey.
Just a quick comment: I’m sorry for the pain you’ve suffered & it’s been a difficult path. I can’t imagine living w the consequences. 💔 Thank you for your honesty & putting it out there to educate people. May I humbly suggest if you’ve never considered: the possibility that medical ptsd is a factor here too. It can happen when people are hurt at the hands of the medical establishment. I hope your life gets better & good things come your way. Thank you & much respect.💜
Please friend I speak from having spent 64 years on earth which qualifies me as a liver & observer of humans. I guarantee you are reading things that cast in the most positive possible light. 1) what incentive is there for a trans woman to say , oh man.. wasTHAT a bad decision 2)if one does post regret, you are hit w gaslighting, is; “you weren’t really trans”. This is called the “ no true Scotsman “fallacy . 3) there is a powerful mechanism called “cognitive dissonance “ whereby people attempt to reconcile bad decisions/beliefs by aligning them. I’m not explaining this well. Like when you fall & are embarrassed so you say “ ha I meant to do that”: ( horrid oversimplification) 4) the placebo effect: cannot overstate the power of this to influence outcomes, even in published research 5) Honeymoon phase: I’ve read the honeymoon phase for SRS can be as long as 5 years.
So in short, you are reading stories told through the rosy glasses. You can read some of the stories on the sex change regret website. Also the book “ Trans Survivor Stories “ would be worth a look. (disclaimer: the author is a Christian & is open about using his beliefs to help himself; he also had a very complex mental health background: I think there is Valero be gleaned from the collection)
Most concerning is taking a healthy functioning body & doing serious injury, medicalizing yourself for life. I believe SRS is true last resort.
So much can change... in one day the awfullest thing can happen.
Please take care of yourself. 🙏🏽