Daughter said our home is toxic because we don't believe what she does. I have two other girls from adoption on is 10 and one is 7 they ask about these things , and I tell them the truth.she said me teaching them like that is toxic and hurts her because I will not teach them they could also be trans, and that would be ok. She can't stand listening to it. I have three other people in the house a son an addoptid so special needs a addoptid daughter and a cuson all 23 19 18 and 18. They all believers like I do. She if afraid they and I will slip up and call her she. Or use her dead name. She picked a Female new name?? Big sis will be turning 22 this month. My relationship has been up, and down with big sis. She came out as gay, but I absolutely do not care. So I was like ok She exspected a fight and when she didn't get one she was kinda disapointed it didn't go like she saw on everybody's coming out vids. I guess it is supposed to be some big event But I was just like ok. She got upset I wouldn't let her go to a party over night that included her girlfriend,and alcohol. I didn't even say she couldn't go just not over night. I also wouldn't let her girlfriend stay in her room over night. When she was 16. She didn't want to do school. And her relationship became very codependent, so I asked them to go to counseling. Her girlfriend was a girl we took in at age 8 now they where 16, and 18. She ran off at 17 to go to a drunken party with all her LGB friends, and the Girlfriend. She became scared to come back home and face the music, so we agreed she would go to job core. It was bad for the first year, but then I started picking her up for weekends and things. The Girlfriend cheated, and got pregnant and isn't gay now. You could say she had a hard time with that. She moved out 6 months ago with her Trans bro. I was trying to go to pride and such with her but last year work interfered and then covid but we had a pride flag up in the front yard with my sons putting a US and one for Norway we where going to get a Mexican flag to, but she took it down. The 16 year old has been depressed and had one of everything she has Anxiety, and tics witch she thinks may be terrets and was bi first the. Non bianary now trans all after binge watching them on youtube and made new LGB friend online with a girlfriend that is they with another partner. OMG what is happening. She was talking just like us last year and had no signs as a kid growing up. The conversation has always been what you would exspect of a Detrans mom. You ware what you want and do what you want there is no wrong way to be a girl and you can have any job, or do anything your capable of. I never told them how to be Girls they already are just be good people.

I never had perance as a teen I ran away at 13 I was alone. What stoped me was research I was on T and in the late 80 90 there was allot about kids taking roids and roid rage. I had such a bad temper. And addiction to plastic surgeries was a thing talked about where I learned about body dismorfics. I saw what happened to all the teens they. Diagnosed with suppressed memories , and saiten worshiping. I started looking up disorders and learned about Allien hand syndrome where people think there hand doesn't belong to them. And in that case it attact them but that led to learning about ?diphoria disorders like people damaging there limbs to get amputations because they don't think the limb belongs on them. I looked up picks of reassignment sergories the looked nothing like a natural male. And had less function. You had to pump them up. And being sterol. And being on T forever. I felt like the medical community messed allot of people up. And monitised everything. Convinced a allot of girls things happened to them using fringe science and hypnosis, with strong hallucinogens during setions. I supposedly had DID but mostly I felt like I would feel like pinokio for the rest of my life wishing to be a real boy and never quite being a real natural born male. So I decided I needed to be real. And I was really a Girl.

I agree with this personally. It did hit home with me. I never looked at myself in the mirror unless I had to. I never undressed unless I had to wash. I would put on a shirt and take the other off under ex..... Looking in the mirror was like a person I knew like I recognized them but they weren't me. I avoided anything to do with gender at all cost because when gender was brought up it was painful. The people saw that person in the mirror, and talked to me like she was me. Have you ever notice animals do not recognize there selves. Most of them attack thinking some other is on there terf. They get upset it's unnatural. They are just themselves and have an image of themselves with out. Looks or gender involved. I had an image of myself as in I was strong and quiet and if I thought about how I behaved, and what I wanted to do for fun I wanted to be part of the groop doing that. I was just me and didn't care. It was painful to here you can't because gender. Everytime gender came up I was doing it wrong. That girl in the mirror was ruining everything I wasn't her and I must be a boy because everyone keeps confirming she can't be me because i'm nothing like her. In my mind I must be like the group that I was most like. I was literally traped in a body that was not me. Like a new life was supposed to happen but instead I as a passed life survived instead I'm just saying that's how ot felt not that I think that actually happened but as long as no one mentioned it I was fairly ok. But the second some one said she, or daughter, or some reference to that mirror person I would be reminded that everyone only saw her and no one could see me or know I was in there. I was invisible. I wanted to yell that I was in here can't you see me? I would never have looked in the mirror and asked myself if I was a boy or a girl. It was more like who is that? Why do they all see you instead of me?

First it's not ok to demonise Trans people, so we can feel better ok. Second I think you have the Trans narrative about what conversion therapy is all about. Just as Detrans is hard for them to admit is real,or accept has a lot of the same problems that they have. We need to be gentile with them as we should be handled the same. Conversion therapy got a bad wrap due to trying to force gay people to be strate. Witch you can't actually do. However what you are hearing as conversion therapy for dysphoria is not along the same line as that. Mostly its just therapy. But with a person who knows what dysphoria is and feels like. Mostly you learn what you define woman as. What you don't like about the thought of yourself as a woman. And to separate what it really means vs the pressure you feel to define it other than it is. Weather that is self imposed or society. The truth is woman is a veg meaning. Only defined as female human. That's it. There is no more to it unless we make it mean more than it should. What we have been told is that means you should act, like things, and behave like one. Like a female. But if you are a female human you are acting like one. We have been told that we are wrong acting to be aloud to be female. But ???? Can you be a girl wrong? My answer after much therapy is no you can't it's just that other people don't like it. So the question becomes how important is that to you? No one can tell you the right way to be a female human unless you let them.

I never had them checked, but I suspect they are higher than a normal female because in school I was seen as a danger to the other girls in P.E. they took my scores in non teem, non contact, co ed things like mile run sprint, hang test, pull ups. Infact when we had a national fitness test I had to do the Girls one, and the boys one. A hand over hand no feet rope test and a peg bord test . and a bench press test that they added to the district. They then compared my scores to the Girls and to the boys. I was no where near the girls and came in middle high in the boys I was dead center in the high boys. So they used that to justify taking me out of Girls P.E. and sports and put me in the boys. I had a fast puberty that abruptly stoped when I was 13 no more growth but delay in period. And when I went on the minny pill it was not pretty can't tolerate the pill at all.

First you don't need other people to validate the truth it just is. However you are certainly not the only person in pain. What I mean is you are not alone. It is hard to find your people, but you do have them. People who understand. Perhaps we are each other's people. Perhaps we are each other's people for somethings, but we will need other people for other things. We are each other's people about what it feels like to not be believed. And what it is like to be placed back in our abusers care with maybe it's you. Or your mom loves you, and wants the best for you try trusting her a little more said family counseling. I laugh now because I know who the crazy one is now. See I was told that by this cristian counselor, but only my Mother My step father, and I knew why we where going. To family counselling . it was because my mother thought we needed to reconsile because my step father had been molesting me.she only believed him. I had been telling her and called a liar untill he admitted to a small part of what was going on. That only happened because in the middle of a physical fight I told him he had to sleep sometime He looked at me but I was dead serious and he could see it. So my mom met her and told her she wanted her family back together. this "professional" agreed to it. She was supposed to report abuse of a minor, but instead tried to get me to trust my mother, and except him as my father who would still be in charge of my care and punishments whom i was to respect, and mind. ?????? REALLY my grandfather , and a 16 year old when I was 6 I mean how much can this happen to one little girl? My mother only faced the one with the 16 year old after my brother told people at school, and the cops showed up. My grandfather she believed because he did it to her. ..... But why did you send me then? Why didn't you tell me? But as for the rest of the family I was kicked out of it. And my mom still.tried to get me to forgive him. sneak me to let him get to me and just convince me everything was not that big a deal so I could come back in the family .no wonder I went Trans for a long time. Truth professionals are flawed people they cant fix you. Your mental heath is your responsibility you use a therapist li that you can actualy do today. After doing that over and over you will have done manny things. Be gentile with my new friend plz i might need her. I finaly found a people. I would like you to do something nice for her today because i'm excited that she is here. And only you can do that for me. ke a teammate to help you see things you are to close to. To help you have ideas To help you figure out how to measure success or help you see what isn't working. Just to talk to..to listen to encourage..they can't fix you and they don't have all the answers. I'm sorry but if you want to get better you can't sit around wondering why no.one is rescuing you. That's your job. Others can only help support you wile you struggle to do the work so you aren't alone. You need to take control. You need to fire bad counselors like you are the boss that hired them because you are. I told my daughter I was trans as a kid and she does not believe me either, or know what I went through at all and it feels so bad. We could talk about that if it helps you because you have people. Yesterday you didn't know I was here. Just like you can't know what will happen later either. So T or death??? I think not. Admit you are hurting and buckle up buttercup because you can't fix it sitting there feeling sorry for yourself crying about yesterday You can't change the past but you can ask yourself what can I do today right where I am? You have the same problem you had before. You need to accept, and love yourself, and it's going to be hard. Same problem you already had. So will you try something new now? This time start with i'm sorry self. To witch self needs to forgive you. Every one struggles. We do the best we can. So did you. But to get better we must onlt put one foot infront of the other to walk a mile. Stop looking at the hole problem it's too much all at once. Just do 1 thing today

Honestly people freaked out about how I was acting, but never really checked out why. I put on abnormal amount of mussel for a girl. Infact for my size. I had other birth abnormalities. Such as kidney issues. Seemed to run in my family. Sergeries for grandma. Mom needed dilation. Neice had constant UTI as an infant. My UTIs where not causle meaning not from germs not having sex but frequent due to self. I have dyslexia, and my asafigus was too small. I couldn't swallow pills till after 13. Stoped growing after at 13. Had a fast puberty but delayed period. Bone curvature in long bones. Such as leg. So you would think it would be worth looking at but no. I was found to be a danger to the other girls due to my competitiveness, and abnormal muscle mass. Lol I know right. I was kicked out of P.E. after much deliberation, and anxiety of school staff. The reasoning for separating the boys P.E. group from the Girls fit me. Boys who didn't know there own strength, or understand the difference they genetically have could in a moment of competitiveness hurt the girls. This came about after I was band from indore socker. I broke two lights in the gym ceiling caged lights. I could not control direction of the ball I kicked. I made goals from the opposite side with my kick. It moved the goal. I had no ame tho. The girls would just dive out of the way when I got the ball. No one wanted to be between that ball and where ever it was going. A girl had a sling when she blocked a shot. And any other sport I tried to play. Blocking, and spiking a volly ball. That girls face. I wasn't trying to be too aggressive. I was just trying to play. But that was me right danger to the girls. I didn't mean to be so rough. I didn't know how to tell where the line was. I didn't know how to predict how my body that was changing would perform. But I had a right to do P.E. right? I felt so bad. I understood why I was band. But you would think I have been bragging. I just became some freak. It affected me in many ways including not fitting in my pear group. Not being able to make friends. I sat out on the wall. Depression, and peria set in. So they had me do the co ed no contact things to rate me against the boys. Sprints we where paired with partners close to our time. For me Boy. Hang test well after 4 min still going I was told to go try pull ups with the boys. I came in second holding back after the 4 min hang test. Only girl that had enough uper body strength to climb the rope to ring the bell at the top no feet hand over hand. Only 6 boys and me could do a peg board in my grade. The national fitness test was the final say. I was compared to the entire national average on the test, compared to the Girls, and then the Boys. When little name tags where put on the record placks for breaking them with my name on them, I only felt like it wasn't fare, and they should come down. So it was decided I posed the same risk to the girls as the boys, but they didn't pose one for me. So I was placed in the Boys P.E. class. When my school needed a student for some competition to get money for the school I was pulled out of whatever I was doing to go do it for them. Jump for hart. Kids trained for that, I just got pulled out of class, and handed a jump rope. They sed last one still jumping gets money for the school extra points for tricks. Ok when the blow the whistle go. Do your best we need this. And then for limbo. Put in paper national champ title and all. Sit up competition. Yep get her out of science. I began to understand that other kids where puting in so much work to train for these things. Hard work and I was just pulled out of class to be used by the school to get them money. I began to feel like it was not fare, and I was being used. School coaches intimidated me to join teems that where invited to nationals like volly ball, and track. I was shoved up against a locker one time. My family was too poor to pay the insurance, but the school offered to pay it. I never told my mom. She would have used me to. I didn't want to be a freak. But being on the boys P.E. teems allowed me to participate finally. I made friends the boys. I was one of the guys. I got picked for teems. When a new boy piped up about the odd pick the boys who new me even stuck up for me. We even laughed when we plaid other schools in unofficial games. We planed the batting order for me to be the secret weapon. The other teem was predictable. When the bases wher loaded I was subbed in to bat. Predictably the other teem yelled no batter, and laughed they put a girl on. They would all move up to cover in field. But we where expecting that. And watched for witch outfielder I should ame for. Well over since he would move up to. Giving my runners plenty of time to all run home with a tripple plus me wile they scrambled to get the ball back in. If I didn't fowl anyway that would give it up. Or uf we plaid them before. Still it worked often. I became valued. However as I got older it put a kink I was not expecting. I was one of the guys not a girl who they would think of as pretty, or as a girl at all. Was I supposed to like boys? Now what? I had diforia before all that, but it all made it worse. No one ever thought to check why. But then after immunity to novacaine. (Fun at the dentist), and morphine improper placed pain block during labor ( location checked with morphine) put me in the hospital 5 extra days. An allergic reaction to a dental go to no one has a problem with it, and cold medicine. Along with my body freaking out on a minny pill. Does not handle estrogen well at all. Total mess. To figure out that my body defiantly has a strange reaction to normal things. Sorry so long.

As a detrans person I avoid gender clinics. I avoid hearing Trans ideology as thinking allot of what they use to as proof that they are the right thing has only made my mental health harder and so I must keep to confirming what helps me. rather than get confused again. If the study was done at gender clinics and on Trans sights. And under the supervision of Trans activists, and gender clinic owner's. And Dr's getting paid for surgeries you would be asking a group who wishes we didn't egsist in places we avoid.like how many abused kids would you find if you just asked the parents at the adult meeting? When you desist or detrans they call you cis now, and shame you. Or try to convince you that you where never really Trans in the first place. Some people may believe them and feel that it's inappropriate to clam as much. Also it's ebarissig. One last reason is transition does feel better at first it is reliving to hide the problem improvement of angziety isn't made up, so it takes a long time to recognized what's going on. That all the next steps only helped for less and less time realization that it isn't going to fix you takes 10 30 years if the questions where asked right after a change was still working you would get wonderfull reviews no one is asking 10 15 years down the line.

Yes. Mirrors where invented by people, and we also weren't naturally supposed to have to deal with our reflection matching our mind. Or even be so aware of what we look like, let alone make all these rules for it. So if you really want to look at reality, it was a nother man made invention, placed in every home with out regard to phycological effect. We aren't crazy just because other people can adapt to this better than we can. It makes it easier to understand what is happening when you understand why. We only had two mirrors in our home when I was growing up. My mom had one in her room witch we where not aloud in. And there was one in the bathroom. You just don't spend much time in there. So I for one spent most of my time developing a sense of self based on what I could do rather than what I looked like. I'm not saying that that alone did this, but I know it to be a contributing factor. And not recagnizeing myself in pictures getting upset when. Told it was me.

The question implies a preferred answer. As does the deflection that chalange it. Meaning anything said here will be twisted, or manipulated to fit that witch you want it to be. I'm not accusing, but it appears to be this way to me. We all do this. We want to go to the park. Mom points out it's raining. We don't want to here no, because we still want to go. We then begin to defend our position. Don't we have a rain jacket? Didn't we buy it for rain? Can't we find a park under a roof? We know mom doesn't want to go, because she doesn't want to deal with the weather. But we still persist that if we can make a good argument we could talk her into it, because we want it. We know what is going on but......we all do it. Perhaps we get so good at it we begin to use it as a default mode we are no longer aware of. So ask yourself are you here trying to ask a question? Curious and open to new thoughts? Actually searching for understanding? Trying to get at "true feeling"? " True understanding"? Or did you really come here for permission? Approval? Agreement? You also need to ask yourself if you came here to talk yourself into what you want, why did you pick a detrans space? You already know if you asked in a for Trans space you would have gotten Approval, Exeptance, Encouragement.......so what little voice in the back of your mind made you ask here? What good can come of not addressing that voice? You are afraid of the voice not saying what you want it to say? Imagine then ignoring it when you make a permanent decision. As you may have red here that can lead to tragedy. Not all these things are reversible. We don't say on here that Transition doesn't work for everyone. But we are saying Transition doesn't work fore everyone. Please if you do one thing for yourself. Do not ignore your questioning. Address it head on come hell or high water. Because these are not things you do to figure it out. These are things you only do when you satisfied fully all your questions and it is still the answers. This is not a toy. Its not "the cool thing to do" it's not "something to just try out" this is a real thing with real pain real consequences. Your real life deserves a real answer. It may not be the one you want. If you aren't accepting that as a possibility you aren't being honest with yourself. You shouldn't have to search to fit into the narrative you want. Egsagerate problems. Need to add weight to examples. If you love the Trans people, then don't give them a bad name. Think about it honestly, openly. Your denial of influence is telling. Hard truth. You only know what boy, and girl means because you where told so. Your baby self did not know what the meaning of words where. You where taught English. So kidding yourself that influence had nothing to do with how it was presented to you when you learned it, is not honest. You need to consider how it affected you, and why. Not deny it happened at all. Have a sit down with yourself and then come back and read these honestly. No good can come if convincing yourself. It needs to be honestly come to after much thought is given to both sides of your questions. Much love. We are all just trying to figure it out.