This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The comments display:
- A consistent, deeply personal narrative of detransition.
- Emotional depth and vulnerability, including anger and regret, which aligns with the expected passion of the community.
- Specific, lived experiences (e.g., physical changes, surgery details, job impact) that are complex and not easily faked.
- Engagement in nuanced debates within the subreddit, showing a real understanding of the community's dynamics.
About me
I started transitioning as a lost 19-year-old girl because I felt unsafe and saw no value in being a woman. I used a male identity to escape my fear and even got a stable job, which felt like a way to survive. Now, after stopping hormones, I'm in therapy and dealing with the physical and emotional aftermath, feeling damaged but trying to heal. I see now my problem wasn't gender, but a desperate need to escape the hardships of being female. I'm learning to accept what happened and find my worth as a woman beyond how others see me.
My detransition story
My whole journey started from a place of really low self-esteem and a deep unhappiness with my life. I was a teenage girl with no parents, no home, and no money, and I felt completely unsafe in the world. My body made me feel like a target, and I was constantly petrified. I never considered myself attractive and believed I had little value as a woman, so I thought, why not transition into a man? I had some male personality attributes, and it seemed like a win-win situation. I could escape all the things that terrified me about being a woman.
I see now that it was a form of escapism. I created a male persona to be a provider for that scared 19-year-old girl who couldn't function in society. I started testosterone and eventually got top surgery. The surgeon said she left some tissue behind, and now that I’ve stopped hormones, I’m hoping for some regrowth. Being on testosterone gave me a deeper voice, and I’ve been told that after stopping, the vocal cords can get a little thinner and the muscles around the larynx can change, which might make my voice a bit lighter. I’m hoping voice training will help me find a comfortable voice.
Transitioning did have some benefits for me at the time. I experienced male privilege and was able to get a job as a salesman that I’m good at. I honestly don’t think I could have gotten to the stable financial position I’m in now if I had stayed living as a woman. I couldn't handle being sexually perceived as a woman; it just never felt safe.
But getting to a more stable place financially allowed me to finally stop and think. It felt like waking up from a deep coma. I realized I had made a mess of things and I feel a deep sense of loneliness because of it. I’m going to therapy now, and the mental fog plus my body readjusting is awful physically. I feel ruined and damaged, but I’m trying to see detransitioning as a process of getting better. I have to accept what has been done and try to find my worth in other aspects than the ones I feel I’ve lost.
I don’t think my problem was ever really about gender itself. I think today’s society is structured around performing gender, and I just wanted to escape womanhood—the social status, the lack of safety, the income disparities. It was never about just wanting to wear boys' clothes. It was about escaping the mental, social, and physical exhaustion of being a woman.
I do have regrets. I wish I had been brought up right; I probably wouldn't have ended up in this mess. But I’m trying to move forward and accept that this was a stage of my life I had to go through to survive. I am still a girl, and I am trying to learn that my worth isn’t in how other people perceive me.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19 | Started identifying as a trans man and began taking testosterone. I was in a very bad place with no money or home and saw it as an escape. |
| 20 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 21 | Stopped taking testosterone after roughly 2 years. Began the process of detransitioning. |
| 21 | Started therapy to deal with the underlying issues that led me to transition. |
Top Comments by /u/Weekly-Advantage-488:
Hey, please don’t compare yourself to your sisters. You underwent transition treatment and you realized it’s not for you, it’s okay. You are still a girl. You are worthy and I know it’s hard not being conventionally attractive but your worth shouldn’t be in how other people perceive you. You have many years ahead of you and you have experience that manhood gave you. At least I try looking at it this way. I also feel ruined and damaged but that is what detransitioning is all about. Getting better. Accept what has been done and try to find your worth in other aspects than those that you lost.
I agree with this heavily. I never considered myself attractive pre transition and therefore i believed i had little value as a woman anyway so why not transition into a man since i had male personality attributes. It seemed like a win, win situation. I wish i was brought up right. Wouldn’t have ended up in this mess. :)
Hey, I also had a mastectomy and my surgeon said she left some tissues left. I am hoping for some re growth, im about 1 month off hormones, when did you start experiencing them growing back? Also best luck to you. I would maybe start wearing a mastectomy bra or paddings everyday and if you stick with them get the reconstruction to the desired cup?
Hi, yes it it, due to:
Vocal Cord Thinning: Testosterone thickens the vocal cords, causing a deeper voice. After stopping testosterone, while the vocal cords usually don’t “un-thicken” fully, they can become a little thinner and less heavy over time, especially without the constant pressure of androgens. This slight thinning can make the voice lighter or easier to raise in pitch.
Muscle Tone Changes: Testosterone increases muscle bulk and strength, including around the larynx (voice box). After stopping T, muscle tone can decrease slightly, making the voice sound less “heavy” or rigid, giving it a slightly lighter quality.
Hormonal Shifts Beyond T: As estrogen naturally becomes the dominant hormone again (even if not supplemented), the tissues throughout the body — including in the throat — can change subtly, making the environment in the larynx less “hard” or less dry, which can soften the voice’s sound quality.
if you see gender conformity as make up and clothes you are living under a rock (no offense).
From my point of view i transitioned because being a woman was socially/mentally/physically exhausting. I didn’t do it because i wanted to wear boy clothes and have short hair. I wanted to escape womanhood/ the gender of being a woman, which made me gender nonconforming.
Hi, i started the transition because i had zero self worth 2 years ago. I was always the scapegoat child and because i wasn’t always very masculine in nature I thought that becoming a trans man will solve my problems all together.
And I experienced the male privilege and i was able to get a work as a salesman and im good at my job. But as i got from the tranches of financial rock bottom and started to make enough money to survive i realized i couldn’t get to the position i am in if i stayed a woman. I couldn’t stay being sexually perceived as a woman. To have sex. To be held as one, because it just didn’t felt safe. I created this persona to be the provider for the 19 year old girl that was so petrified and just couldn’t function in the society. It was a form of escapism. This all just feels like waking up from a deep state coma.
I think all this says about how it feels being a teenage girl without no parents, no home, no money and body that is constantly making you a target. Of course I wanted to be a man. :)
i think desisted people on this sub reddit should take a chill pill. Yeah he is wondering about his cock, because he he tried being a woman for 9 years and it just isn’t probably working out and the only organ on his body that makes him male is cock and balls. Of course he wants to know if something will reverse when he stops testosterone. You didn’t do HRT and yet you judge people who genuinely want advice.
If you wanna educate yourself on certain subjects (such as what id gender expression/gender conformity) that is your responsibility. Only thing i have to say that it is a bit deeper than visuals. And my examples are social status, safety, income/job. Have a good day.
Thank you for your experience! It’s interesting that your lightening stopped after 6-8 months and your voice just stayed still and you voice trained your way into your comfortable voice. I hope i will get similar results. Ive been avoiding transitioning because i thought my voice was too far gone for me to ever pass as a girl anyway (stupid, i know) but i think im just gonna have to give it time now.
Sorry, i should have put the phrase “gender nonconforming” in quotation marks. It is an existing construct that leads many people to transition, i agree. Although it isn’t exactly nonexistent. Just because it’s wrong it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. It just didn’t have a name in your generation and now it has a name.
I think it’s better to realize that today’s society is structured about performing gender and that many people want to appeal “gender conforming”. I think it’s also better to realize that you don’t have to give in into “gender conformity” and just simply be a man or a woman.