This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The comments display a nuanced, emotionally complex, and internally conflicted narrative that is consistent with the difficult experience of someone questioning their transition. The details about specific medications, physiological changes, and psychological effects are highly specific and personal, which is not typical of inauthentic accounts. The user's expressed confusion and ambivalence are credible for a desister/detransitioner.
About me
My journey with transition and now detransition has been incredibly difficult. I was on hormones for a year, and while I initially felt great about my appearance, I fell into a deep depression with scary suicidal thoughts, which is why I stopped. Since stopping, my body has changed back and my energy and interests have returned, but my emotions feel numb and I'm dealing with painful physical side effects. Looking back, I became selfish and obsessed with my appearance, and I regret how I neglected my relationships. I'm left with a flat unhappiness now, unsure of what to do, and I feel abandoned by the medical system that was supposed to help me.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and now detransition has been confusing and really tough. I was on hormones for a year, and I’ve been off them for a while now. When I first stopped, my body started changing back pretty quickly. My skin got oily again, my facial hair came back strong, and I started to get a little bit of my male sex drive back, though I’m still never really horny like I was before. The penile atrophy I got from estrogen is a big problem; it’s painful when I get an erection and it’s something I really hope reverses with time.
One of the biggest differences I noticed was in my mind. On hormones, I had no energy and felt completely apathetic. Everything I used to enjoy just didn’t matter to me anymore. About two weeks after stopping, all of my interests and energy came flooding back. It was like waking up from a fog. But my emotions are still numb; I can't really cry or feel much of anything now, which is its own kind of struggle.
Looking back, I see how selfish and obsessed I became during my transition. I was completely focused on my appearance, constantly worried about whether I passed, and comparing myself to other trans people all the time. I neglected my relationship and my friends, and I feel a lot of embarrassment about that now.
My mental health was a rollercoaster. When I was transitioned, I had some of my happiest moments. I felt more attractive and better about myself than I ever had before. But I also had my lowest, most dangerous lows. The depression and suicidal thoughts I got while on HRT were severe and scary, which is the main reason I had to stop. Now, as a guy again, I don’t have those extreme suicidal crashes, but I don’t have the highs either. I just feel a flat, persistent unhappiness. It makes me wonder if I should retransition, since I’ll be unhappy either way, but at least then I’d sometimes feel good about how I looked.
I definitely have serious self-perception problems that I need to work on, no matter what I decide to do with my gender. The medical system wasn't much help; my endocrinologist just dropped me as a patient without a word when I mentioned I wanted to detransition, which left me feeling abandoned to figure everything out on my own.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 22 | Started taking estrogen (injections), spiro, and progesterone. |
| 23 | Stopped all hormones after 1 year due to severe depression and suicidal thoughts. |
| 23 | Experienced the return of male secondary sex characteristics and a loss of emotional capacity. |
Top Comments by /u/WellShithaha:
That's the thing, I have no clue what's going on because my endo just dropped me with no word when I mentioned wanting to detransition. Like, I'm greasy as hell, facial hair is growing back intensely, and I can't cry or really feel much about anything anymore. But I'm just never horny at all, that's like the one thing that didn't come back
Yeah see like my happiest moments were definitely while I was transitioned, but they were also my unhappiest. Now that I'm back to a guy, I just either feel nothing, or unhappiness, so I'm kind of like "If I'm going to feel unhappy anyway, I might as well go back to at least feeling happy sometimes and good about myself, and see about what I can do to combat depression"
Yess yeah, I'm already experiencing an increase of energy and overall can find more things to do to fill my day, which is awesome. One thing I got so sick of was the lack of energy and how apathetic I felt on HRT, and everything I enjoyed doing and cared about before just went out the window, only to all come back maybe 2 weeks after stopping. Thank you though, it definitely sounds like most of those things are happening for me already, just a matter of waiting and seeing
That's kinda the thought process I'm going through right now, just not being sure if I'd be happier retransitioning. I definitely saw myself as more attractive when I was transitioned, and felt better about myself for sure, but I just couldn't deal with how sensitive I was to the meds and how dangerous my depression would get. But I absolutely have self-perception problems that I need to get a handle of either way
Same, I became really selfish and self-focused in a bad way, obsessed with my appearance and making sure I passed 24/7, comparing myself to other trans, watching for new changes. Kind of neglected my relationship and friends, and now I look back in embarrassment and shock, and hopeful and optimistic for the future
I was on for 1 year, btw. I'm close to a month off of injections, spiro, and progesterone, and so far mostly my skin has become greasy/oily again, I'm starting to ejaculate a little again, "male brain" is coming back a little, some slight breast reduction, and my appetite has been suppressed. The first two weeks or so, I was having bad sleep issues, but they went away quickly. I'm hoping the penile atrophy I experienced reverses even if it takes a while, because it's weirdly all localized at the very top and is quite painful if I get an erection or use it sexually
I mean I know that's for sure, but the way I see it is that as much as I was suicidal on HRT, I was also pretty happy, but the suicide scares were too much to stay on. But now I'm just kinda back to floating in between unhappiness, and suicidal, and keep looking back on old pics of me when I was on HRT and wondering if I made the right decision