This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's comments are highly personal, emotionally varied (from anger to support), and reflect a consistent, nuanced perspective on detransition rooted in lived experience, including internalized homophobia and the process of healing. The language is natural, with conversational quirks and no scripted repetition.
About me
I was born male and felt deep discomfort with the expectations placed on me, which I now see was rooted in internalized homophobia. I transitioned because it felt like an escape from the anxiety of being a gay man, but it trapped me in years of obsessive, exhausting thoughts about my identity. My healing began when I stopped focusing inward and instead poured my energy into volunteering and rebuilding my relationships. I came to understand my transition as a form of escapism from my sexuality and self. Now, I've found real peace by engaging with the world and no longer defining myself by any gender label.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition was long and complicated, and it took me a long time to understand all the reasons behind it. I was born male, and from a young age, I felt a deep discomfort with the expectations placed on me. I now believe a lot of my initial feelings were rooted in internalized homophobia. The idea of being a gay man felt impossible and shameful to me. I felt like I couldn't fit into that box, so my mind looked for another way out.
I fell hard for gender ideology. It provided an escape hatch from the person I thought I was supposed to be. By deciding I "was not a gay man," I felt I could avoid all the anxiety and self-hatred that came with that label. My dissatisfaction with the gay community and the stereotypes made it even easier to believe that transition was the answer. It felt like a way to reinvent myself entirely and leave those uncomfortable feelings behind.
For years, I was trapped in a cycle of obsessive thoughts about my gender identity. It was all I could think about. I’d have waves of what I called dysphoria and euphoria, but it was really just a constant, exhausting rollercoaster that left me mentally battered. I was so focused inward, hyper-fixated on my body and how it was perceived by others, that I lost touch with everything else.
The turning point for me was when I started to shift my focus outward. I was so fatigued from the internal turmoil that I had to try something else. I began volunteering in my community and really working on rebuilding my relationships with my family. Pouring my energy into things outside of myself, into helping others and connecting with people, was what finally made me feel whole again. The obsessive thoughts about my identity gradually faded. It wasn't a specific technique; it was a complete change in mindset. I learned to care less about how I was perceived and just wear what I wanted, expressing myself without any consistency or label.
Looking back, I see my transition attempt as a form of escapism. I was trying to escape from myself, from my sexuality, and from the pain of navigating the world as a gay man. I don't have any animosity towards people who are still in that cycle; I know they are suffering and need support, even if that support comes from the trans community. But for me, detransitioning was about healing.
I don't really believe in a "true self" tied to gender anymore. I think we're all just people, and we're afraid to suffer. We're constantly looking for a path to become who we think we want to be. But real peace came when I stopped looking inward for that identity and started engaging with the world around me.
I don't regret exploring transition because it led me to where I am now, but I do regret the years I spent in that state of internal conflict and self-hatred. I'm just glad I found my way out.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teen Years | Felt intense discomfort with puberty and societal expectations of being a male. Struggled with accepting being gay. |
| Early 20s | Discovered gender ideology online and embraced it as an identity. Began socially identifying as not a gay man. |
| Mid 20s | Experienced years of obsessive gender-related thoughts, cycles of dysphoria/euphoria, and mental fatigue. |
| 27 | Began to shift focus outward through volunteering and family. Obsessive thoughts started to fade. |
| 28 | Understood my transition attempt as internalized homophobia and escapism. Fully embraced detransition and healing. |
Top Comments by /u/Which_Bet1050:
Multiple retransitioners I’ve encountered still uphold the belief of gender ideology. The fact that they “cannot escape their true self” has led them to retransition, detransitioning(AKA healing) proved to be too difficult/mentally taxing for a variety of reasons.
However, animosity towards this niche group of people isn’t wise. They are very much still entrenched in the cycle of gender dysphoria and the hyper fixation of their body/how their body is perceived. They need help and support, even if that help/support happens to come from trans community(despite their experience being weaponized as an argument supporting gender ideology, I agree with you there).
If that’s the right move for you and your healing process, I’d say do it!
I will say, on a broader scale, the more people who share their stories, the better. Even though it may be hard for you to talk about this subject, just know that you may help so many others.
Most detrans videos I’ve seen are met with positive and empathetic comments too.
This sounds like internalized homophobia to me. I’m sorry you are going through this. Should you transition? Look I’ll be blunt, after reading stories just like yours (and having a similar situation myself ), I will plainly state that ….no, I don’t think you should transition.
The amount of gay men I’ve come across who went on hormones to cope with the shame, guilt, and anxiety of being a homosexual male in this patriarchal society is….well it’s sad.
Please hang in there!
Love the music ❤️
Getting over my intrusive thoughts regarding my supposed “gender identity” happened gradually. I can’t say I used a “technique” per se. It came with a shift in mind I think.
The obsessive thoughts gradually faded as I prioritized things “outside” myself. This includes volunteering in my community, rebuilding/strengthening my bonds with family, and so on.
Years of internal turmoil, self hatred, and constant roller coasters of dysphoria/euphoria had left me fatigued and mentally battered. Giving myself to the world made me whole again I think.
Loved reading this!
We’re afraid to suffer as humans. We’re constantly seeking a path that will lead us to where we want to go…who we want to be. It’s important to focus on the self, yes. But at some point, you have to look outward, look at the world around you.
To whoever wrote this, I’d think you’d appreciate this video. He is a detrans male, who goes in depth about some of things you mentioned in your post. His channel is great.
I get it I think…like you don’t want to be stereotyped or pinned down to one version/image of yourself.
I cope by wearing what I want whenever I want,, with no consistency in mind, just expression.
I also just care less about how I’m perceived…but that ability took time.
My gender dysphoria made me feel that my instinct towards a homosexual relationship couldn’t … be true? Idk. I fell for the gender ideology, thus had already came to the conclusion that I “was not a gay man”. My dissatisfaction with gay men made it harder for myself to accept that gay men are my only viable options for a real relationship. My dysphoria provided an escape in that regard, I think.