Honestly, the whole flag thing is dumb to me. Like why do you have to have a flag for everything? I would even say that detransitioners don't need a "detrans flag". I've never understood why we need flags for our sexualities and zillion different genders.... it's a weird obsession. I was fine with just keeping flags for countries. I doubt any serious reflection goes into the creation of these pride flags.

I very much agree with this. I also think that we have become more rigid in the expectations of each sex rather then less so. Now if your a female who likes to wear stereotypical male clothes, then you must really be a "male" deep inside. If you like the color blue, well that's a "boys" color....this is just some of the stuff I have noticed. You'd think that with all the acceptance movement going on by the LGBT community that we would be more open to gender non-conforming people, but no. Now people who dont fit the stereotypical presentation/behavior of their sex, are encouraged (by doctors, therapists), or told that they must be trans. Instead of just accepting that a woman is a woman ---- her clothing style, hobbies, haircut, sexuality, etc doesn't make her more or less of a woman. And same for men.

I defiantly think that we (society) are confusing personality for gender. I do accept that gender exists as an idea..or even as social rules/expectations of the sexes. But I dont think people have an inner gender. I think that we have different ways of relating to our own sex, and interacting with societies ideals/expectations of the two sexes. Gender is perhaps a way to understand sex, and the roles each sex has taken/takes within our society. Which changes over time, and between different cultures. But sex I think is set in stone, while gender is fluid/subject to change -- as it has always been.

I am a masculine woman, and I dont (no longer) think that me wearing "mens" clothes over "womens" clothes makes me not a woman, or even less of a woman. It's just something I'm comfortable with. Like a part of my personality, that I developed over my life. Of course, when I was a teenager I got confused and thought that stuff like that meant I was really a "man inside" --- because of the different adult influences in my life. However overtime, on my own: I came to realize that this is indeed not the case.

Well, so far, I haven't found any. I stopped seeing my therapist, and while her attitude towards my "gender" problems wasn't the only reason, it was a big one. Instead of just accepting that I am a woman, who detransitoned -- she offered up that I might be "non-binary". So, stuff like this gets on my nerves. Good luck OP, I hope you find a therapist who is neutral on this matter --- but it's probably going to take some searching. Because depending on where you live, there might be those "affirmation only" guidelines that therapists/etc have to follow.

When I realized that it wasn't my body parts I hated, it was the social expectations of being a woman I hated. I confused wanting to be masculine with wanting to be male. Even when I was FtM, the thought of bottom surgery definitely made me uncomfortable -- even if I didn't admit it consciously. What made me "dysphoric" was wearing feminine clothing or being called a lady --- however I got confused and thought this meant I was a man "inside". So basically that's how I realized I wasn't really trans. It also took time to realize that a woman (aka me) could be as masculine as I wanted and could be masculine naturally (aka it's not a "choice" for me) without being a "man inside". Or a "man with female parts" as my doctor like to put it.

I really started to question after I stopped T. I originally stopped due to medical reasons but it gave me time to think about things, which is when I was able to come to conclusion that I wasn't trans.

I had support both ways. My family was supportive but concerned (especially at the beginning) during my transition, and definitely supportive when I told them I was detransitioning. My father always felt that medical transition (hormones) and especially surgery was/would be a mistake.

My father also was the one who tried to raise concern at the beginning, until the doctor told him I would probably commit s**** if I couldn't transition.

I definitely relate to this. I think if anything I felt social dysphoria and not physical (well atleast not until I started to care about passing as male).

I definitely hate how women are presented in movies and especially anime.... Then I don't like playing as a female character in video games cause their always objectified. Like their "armour" and the way the character walks/talks is overly feminine in ALOT of games. It's really frustrating.

I definitely don't like the roles and expectations of women in society. Plus the beauty expectations but I couldn't even abide by those even if I wanted to, since I'm masculine (in the way I dress). I tried, and it always felt wrong. So I stay dressing masc and it doesn't mean I don't see myself as female. Took me awhile to learn that. But that's also cause of the standards put on women.

Also I realize that my idea of beauty (or what way makes me feel good about myself) is things like having my hair short/masc cut. Then wearing cargo shorts or jogger chino pants. And simple V-neck shirts. While the beauty standards for women are like 180° of what I consider (for myself) to be good looking lol. But least now I'm confident enough to not care.

I'm not sure if this will be of much help but, I used to have a very similar problem/concerns as you. At first (towards the beginning of my detransition) I would also flinch when being referred to as "she" instead of "he"...it also felt "wrong". However overtime I've begun to feel neutral about it. Depending on how long you spent living as a guy, it might make sense that you then feel uncomfortable with feminine pronouns. One because of dysphoria, but also because of time. If we spend enough time (years) doing something...we get used to it and it becomes a new "normal" for us. So then changing that new normal can feel weird/wrong/uncomfortable. That plus other factors like (for me) associating feminine pronouns for feminity can also feel "wrong".

I don't know if this is your case, but this is a bit of how it felt for me and thought maybe I'd share in hopes of thinking of why you could be feeling this way and possible solutions. With me, time helped with feeling more neutral with she/her pronouns. I also just learned to associate it with being female and not anything to do with femininity. Aka female doesn't equal feminine. As I'm masculine in my presentation still. Don't know if that's the case for you of course.

Also for the name. I also don't like my original birth name but I did get it legally changed back (of course you don't have to) but I go by my nickname in real life with family and friends. My nickname is the short version of my legal birth name, but for some reason I'm more comfortable with it then my full birth name. So I guess I kinda compromised. However choosing a new name is perfectly fine too. I just thought I'd give ideas and also explore possible causes for discomfort based off my own personal experience. Hope this was of some help.

Hmm, I'm not sure if this is what you mean but when I was Ftm my body felt to 'feminine' (in the beginning stages of my transition more so though) because I was so caught up on trying to pass as male. So I was hyper focused on any 'feminine' traits of my body. Now it's alittle vice versa, although not as bad. Since I'm doing a better job at accepting my body as is. However I do notice that I worry that I look 'male' and so I hyper focus (sometimes, not as much) on any masculine features of mine. Like facial hair/etc. I do think it's body dysmorphia too, since I think we often convince ourselves we look one way vs how others might actually perceive us. Again not sure if this is what you mean.

I also realize that my experience might be alittle different since I did take hormones, and if I understand correctly you didn't?

Honestly, in that situation. It's really a judgement you have to make for yourself. It's gonna depend on if gender stuff is triggering at all for you, and how well you might handle your friend questioning theirs. Also on your own perspective of gender/experience.

Honestly, while I call myself a butch lesbian --- I don't call butch my gender. Butch is just a descriptive word, it's to communicate something about me to others, but not my gender. The closest thing that I do to describe my "gender" is calling myself a masculine woman. But again, just using as a descriptive word (adjective)... not as my gender. I don't take gender very seriously anymore, so I won't assign myself a gender. I'll use words that describe my personality, or my sexuality...but not gender. Gender to me is like an idea, it's not concrete. What's concrete is that I'm female.

You can call yourself what you will but might be worth just not focusing too much on gender/ pronouns and more on grounding yourself into the here and now. By that, I mean just live life. I'm not saying that how you present yourself/feel about yourself isn't important, I'm saying to not let it become the center focus of your life. Thats why I used the example of butch/masculine being an adjective. It describes/communicates something about me but isn't the whole of me.