This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The user provides highly specific, personal, and emotionally resonant details about their detransition experience, medical history, and long-term psychological process. The writing is consistent, nuanced, and reflects the passion and anger common in the community. The advice given is practical and aligns with known detransition experiences.
About me
I was a deeply unhappy teenager who thought transitioning from female to male was the answer to my self-hatred. After a very short doctor's appointment, I started testosterone, but I soon realized I was just running away from my problems instead of solving them. Detransitioning was difficult, and even eight years later, I still grieve the body I lost. I now believe my discomfort was a normal part of growing up, not a sign I was born the wrong sex. I've learned that true happiness comes from self-acceptance, not from changing your body.
My detransition story
My journey started with a deep unhappiness that I carried all through my childhood and teenage years. I always hated myself and never felt like I fit in. I got misgendered a lot as a kid, which made me feel like I didn't belong with the girls and that I was more like one of the guys. I was a really unhappy teenager, and things got so bad that I was hospitalized multiple times for suicidal thoughts and for refusing to go to school. Doctors tried to figure out what was wrong with me; they put me on over twenty different antidepressants from the time I was 14 to 18. For a while, they even thought I might be autistic, but they were never sure.
When I was 18, I felt like I had failed at life and that I would never be happy. I had tried everything the doctors suggested and nothing worked. Then, I started seeing trans stuff pop up more in the media, which made me go back online to watch videos from people who were female-to-male. I related to their struggles so much. It made me remember that my pediatrician had repeatedly asked me if I was trans, and I started to think that maybe she was right. Maybe that was the answer to all my problems.
I thought transitioning would fix everything. At 19, I started testosterone. I got my prescription after a single 10-minute appointment. It felt like an escape from all the self-hatred and discomfort I felt. For a while, I passed as male and felt like I had finally found a solution.
But it wasn't a solution. It was me running away from my problems. I came to realize that you can't escape who you are by changing your body. The discomfort I felt was normal for someone my age going through puberty; it wasn't a sign that I was born in the wrong body. Transitioning was the farthest thing from self-love. It took me about a year on testosterone to realize I had made a huge mistake.
When I detransitioned eight years ago, it was really hard. I was misgendered for a whole year after I stopped T because my voice was so deep and my hair was short. I had to do voice training to sound female again, which was frustrating at first but eventually worked. I learned to raise my Adam's apple when I spoke, and over time, my muscles strengthened and it became natural. Now, I sound about 80% like I used to before testosterone. I also had to grieve the body I used to have. Even now, eight years later, I still sometimes catch myself grieving my old self. It comes in waves, like losing a loved one—you never really forget, but you learn to live with it.
Looking back, I see that my deep unhappiness and low self-esteem made me vulnerable to the idea that transition was a cure-all. I think a lot of young females have a hard time with puberty and body image issues, and that can make transitioning seem like an appealing escape. I also believe the internet plays a huge role. If you click on one video, the algorithm shows you more and more, and you fall down a rabbit hole. When I first transitioned, I was the only person I knew, but I could see it starting to pick up traction. Now, it feels like it's everywhere.
I don't believe medical transition is the right way to treat these feelings. In my opinion, it should be treated more like body dysmorphia. There's not enough research on hormones or surgeries, and doctors don't really know what they're doing. I think all bottom surgery should be banned; I've seen too many people with debilitating complications and regrets. It does more harm than good.
I don't have a problem with my life now. I'm married to a wonderful man who loves me for who I am and doesn't care about my physical flaws. But I deeply regret transitioning. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self that it's normal to not feel comfortable in your body at that age, and that learning to love yourself is the real answer.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Hospitalized for suicidal thoughts and refusing school. Put on numerous antidepressants. |
| 14-18 | Doctors suspected autism but were never sure. Tried over 20 different medications. |
| 18 | Felt like a failure, believed I would never be happy. |
| 19 | Started testosterone after a 10-minute doctor's appointment. |
| 20 | Realized I had made a mistake and stopped testosterone. Began detransition. |
| 20-21 | Misgendered for a year after stopping T. Began voice training. |
| 27 (Now) | Have been detransitioned for 8 years. Voice is 80% back to pre-T sound. Still sometimes grieve my past self. |
Top Comments by /u/Windigo2800:
Sorry but you just have a shit boyfriend. He would have cheated no matter what. Nobody cheat because of someone physical feature. If it was really such a big deal, the right thing to do is just to end up the relationship instead of cheating. Men that won’t cheat on you and will not care about your chest do exist. It’s just hard to find the right person and it takes time but it will happen. I don’t have a mastectomy but i have a ton of self inflicted scars and other physical flaws. My husband couldn’t care less and he never made me feel bad about any of my physical features. We have been in a long distance relationship for 7 years in 2 different countries. He could have easily cheated on me but you know what he never did.
Yes i noticed that too. It gives the same vibe as when people just transition. With the timeline pictures and being overly obsessed with their looks. I think it’s a little bit of narcissism and alot of need for validation. I know when i detransitioned 8 years ago that i could barely find anything about detransition. I was desperately seeking pictures of people who detransitioned to give me hope that i could at least look like myself again. Now there’s plenty of those available here and i think it’s a great resource to have access to. Most people that post those are usually very early in their detransition too. Like within a year or two. In the early stage of detransition i think the hardest thing is grieving your body as i use to be and needing validation that you can still be perceived as a female. But i agree that there’s more to it than just the physical image. But i think it comes with time the longest you’ve been detransitioned you realize that life is not just about your physical appearance. And i mean we all transitioned so at some point.We all really cared way too much about our look and how people perceived us it’s just a thing you eventually come to terms with.
Im Sorry but can i ask why you cross post on the trans subreddit? Like you come here asking us our stories. While knowing very well that we all deeply regret transitioning. Of course we aren’t gonna suggest you to do it. Why coming here if you don’t want to hear what we have to say. Obviously if you go in a trans sub you only gonna get supporting replies. It’s like asking about Jesus in an atheist group and then going into a christian one when the atheist told you he doesn’t exist. You already knew what their stand was on the subject and you know the christian all gonna say the opposite. So why even bother asking the other group if you don’t want them to be critical of your belief. You’re also missing the biggest problem that we all brought up : your children. You’re focusing on the agp while people only suggested you to look into it as a potential reason of why you feel like that. To dig deeper and see if you can find the real reason why you feel that way. They all say we are fake trans and never really had gender dysphoria while also affirming everybody that comes to their sub asking if they are trans that they are. They would have literally without a doubt told every single one of us that we were trans too. Now it’s just convenient to deny we even exist. I don’t care what anybody say.The truth is you are gonna cause trauma to your kid. I don’t care if they say it’s only because transphobic people exist. You are gonna confuse your kids, embarrass them and they’re gonna get bullied. You are just putting yourself first before even thinking about the well being of your children and wife. Your children will remember that they weren’t the priority in your life when they grow up and they are gonna resent you for that.
You’ve only been off of T for 2 weeks just give yourself time. I completely understand your feelings. I was exactly where you are right now 8 years ago. I won’t lie i still struggle with it to this day and i still beat my self up over taking T. But you know what? I now recognize myself when i look in the mirror. I don’t get misgender anymore and my voice sounds female. Was it easy? No. I had to voice train and it took awhile for some of the change to revert back. But i guarantee you it is possible to look like your old self again and maybe to even sound like your old self to some degree. It just takes time and some efforts but it is achievable.
I always hated myself, got misgendered all of my childhood. Felt like i belonged with the guys more than the girls. Started watching ftm video on youtube and related to their struggles. I was a really unhappy teenager. My parents sent me to my pediatrician for help and she kept asking me if i was trans. That stuck with me for a while. Got hospitalized a lot for suicidal thoughts and refusing to go to school. Got on a bunch of medications. For a while they thought i was autistic never got a diagnosis then they weren’t so sure anymore. At 18 i get a new psychiatrist because im too old. He couldn’t find what i had either but still gave me a bunch of medications. I must have tried over 20 different antidepressants from age 14 to 18 it was ridiculous. My mom force me to try on swim suit that summer and i was horrified at how masculine i looked in the mirror. Thought i was a man wearing a bikini. I turn 19 i felt like i failed at life and that i would never be happy. I felt like i tried everything. Then trans stuff start popping everywhere in the media. It makes me go back online and watch ftm videos. I start thinking maybe the pediatrician was right maybe i really am trans after all. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me. If i could talk to my past self i would tell her don’t do it. That it’s normal to not feel comfortable in your body at that age. That you can’t escape who you are by transitioning. That you’re just running away from your problems and making things worse for your future self. To learn to love yourself and that transitioning is the farthest thing from self love.
Personally, just deleted all of my pictures.I don’t need them, they just bring me sadness. Once in a while, i will find one i didn’t notice or didn’t know was on an old device and i just delete it. Probably would be harder for you since it was a longer part of your life than mine and there is probably some memory you don’t want to erase. If i were you, i would just put all the pictures i have access to on a flash drive or somewhere safe where i have no direct access to them until i am more at peace with them. That way you aren’t exposed to them all the time but you also still have access to them if you do want them in the future.
Just tell them you have a medical condition that affected your voice ( technically it’s the truth).Gotta keep in mind people online are just plain mean and most of them are teenagers or kids. Bullies pick up on things they know you are insecure about. I know it’s easier said than done but try to not let them know it affects you.
Usually from what I’ve seen, people who have been on T for under 10 years usually always end up bouncing back. Some take longer than others. Usually the biggest thing that makes people misgender us is unfortunately the voice but you can voice train it. It really sucks at first and feels like it’s getting nowhere but i personally sound about 80% like i used to pre t. At first i had to think about it all the time and now it’s just my normal speaking voice. I haven’t been on t as long as you but i used to be misgendered even pre t and started passing as soon as i socially transitioned. When i detransitioned i was misgendered for a whole year until my hair grew long enough to tie it. Since then i never been misgendered ever again. I don’t dress feminine most of the time. My go to is joggings and hoodies and i wear my husband t-shirt all the time. Just give it a little bit more time. Of course presenting in a more feminine way usually helps a lot but you do it only if you feel like it. At the end of the day you are still a woman no matter how you present yourself.
Practice raising ur Adam’s apple as high as u can when u speak. That’s what made the biggest difference for me. Eventually your muscle strengthen and it just naturally does it. Play a lot with your voice and find where it sounds natural and where it’s not too hard to maintain. Doesn’t have to be perfect you can always improve just find a spot you can maintain for a long period of time. Once your muscles gets used to it will be easier to perfection it.
You’re very welcome. I’m glad my words resonate with you. You know i still catch myself grieving my old self 8 years later. It comes in waves. Just like losing a loved one you never really forget them but you learn to live without them. As cliché as it may seem: you just gotta let time do its thing.