This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "WriterKatze" appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user self-identifies as a "desister" and a "bi woman," and their comments display a consistent, nuanced worldview. They express personal opinions grounded in their stated academic background (sociology) and lived experience. The writing style is conversational, includes personal anecdotes, and shows a natural variation in tone and topic, which is not typical of automated scripts. Their advice to "touch grass" and critique of online echo chambers further supports that this is a real person with a genuine perspective.
About me
I started as a teenager who never fit in with other girls and hated the changes of puberty. I found communities online that called these feelings transgender, and I socially transitioned to live as a man for several years. I now realize my discomfort was rooted in anxiety, low self-esteem, and internalized homophobia, not in being the wrong sex. I am relieved I never took hormones and am now comfortable living as a masculine woman. Getting off the internet and focusing on my real life was what finally helped me see things clearly.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was a teenager. I never really felt like I fit in with other girls, and I hated the changes that came with puberty, especially developing breasts. I felt uncomfortable and out of place in my own body. Around that time, I was spending a lot of time online and found communities where people talked about these feelings and called it being transgender. It felt like I finally had a word for what I was experiencing. I thought, "This is it. This explains everything."
I came out as non-binary first, then later as a trans man. I started binding my chest every day. I cut my hair short and changed my entire wardrobe to men's clothing. I socially transitioned completely—my friends, my family, everyone started using a new name and he/him pronouns for me. For a while, it felt really good. It felt like I was finally becoming who I was supposed to be.
I was also dealing with a lot of other stuff at the time that I didn't fully understand. I have OCD and anxiety, and I now realize I was deeply depressed and had very low self-esteem. I think a lot of my desire to transition was a form of escapism—I wanted to escape the discomfort of puberty and the feeling that I didn't belong anywhere. I also struggled with internalized homophobia; I'm bisexual, but I had a hard time accepting that I was attracted to women. I thought that if I became a man, that attraction would somehow be more "normal" or acceptable.
I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I got very close to starting testosterone, but I kept putting it off. I'm grateful for that now. During this time, I was also in therapy, but it wasn't gender-affirming therapy. My therapist encouraged me to explore my feelings and the root causes of my discomfort without immediately affirming that I was trans. That was actually really helpful for me. It made me slow down and think.
What really started to change things for me was getting off the internet. I was so chronically online, reading all these forums and subreddits, and it was making my anxiety so much worse. I decided to take a long break from social media. I went outside more, focused on my hobbies, and spent time with my friends and family. I realized that the online world is not real life. My real-life trans friends were all supportive of me questioning things; it wasn't the cult-like environment you sometimes see online.
Stepping away gave me the space to think. I started to realize that my problems weren't really about my gender. My discomfort with my body was more like body dysmorphia than gender dysphoria. I hated my breasts not because they were female, but because I just hated how they looked and felt—it was connected to my self-esteem issues. I also began to understand that clothes and presentation don't have to equal gender. I can be a woman and still dress masculinely. I don't need to change my body to be comfortable expressing myself.
I consider myself a desister now. I stopped identifying as trans and went back to living as a woman. I don't regret socially transitioning because it was a necessary part of my journey to figure myself out. It helped me understand myself better. But I am so relieved I never medically transitioned. I know that would have caused me serious regret.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's mostly a social construct. I'm pretty much a gender abolitionist. I believe we shouldn't have such rigid expectations for men and women. People should be free to express themselves however they want without it meaning they have to change their bodies or identities. Femininity and masculinity shouldn't have values attached to them.
I'm comfortable now as a bisexual woman who sometimes dresses in a masculine way. I don't have any desire to retransition. My mental health is much better since I left those online spaces and focused on my real life. I still have anxiety and OCD, but I'm managing it better. I'm just trying to live my life without getting caught up in all the online noise.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty and developing breasts. Felt like I didn't fit in with other girls. |
| 16 | Spent a lot of time online, discovered trans communities, and came out as non-binary. |
| 17 | Socially transitioned to living as a trans man; changed name, pronouns, and style. |
| 18 | Explored starting testosterone but decided against it. Began non-affirming therapy that encouraged exploration. |
| 19 | Took a long break from social media, which helped reduce my anxiety. |
| 20 | Realized my issues were rooted in body dysmorphia, low self-esteem, and internalized homophobia, not gender dysphoria. Stopped identifying as trans. |
| 21 | Now living comfortably as a bisexual woman with a masculine presentation. No regrets about social transition, but relieved no medical steps were taken. |
Top Comments by /u/WriterKatze:
I am a sociologist and there is a pretty simple explanation to this btw.
- When you hear someone's experiences being told, you may discover that you had the same feelings and experiences, but never really had the words to describe them, nor did you know what they could mean, meaning, you realise it by other people actually explaining how it feels without
As a bi woman who majorly dated men, and only had 1 girlfriend against 6 boyfriends and also as someone who has a degree in sociology, and loves statistics, lemme try and convince you that the majority of bisexuals who mainly or only date men are most likely are attracted to women too.
There are a lot more men attracted to men, than women attracted to women. Like 9:1 ratio for the guys. If I am a woman who is attracted to both, 9 out of 10 times I will probably end up with a man. Not because I want to, but because I click with whom I click with. Now obviously if you live in a more liberal aeria your odds may be 4:6 or even 5:5. But if you live where I live, where Pride almost got literally fucking banned this year, and homophibia is manifesting in beating up visibly queer or even just alternative looking people, you will stfu about your gayness. So now what? The odds are you will meet 19 guys who show interest in you, and meat 1 girl who shows interest. Obviously, majority of the time you will be dating men.
That's my experience.
And yes there were bitches around covid who claimed they are bi, and we're straight, but in the current political climate, I do not think there are much of those left.
I mean why not?
As a desister I don't really care.
Why would I care? I certainly don't care about cis men whom are feminin, and I certainly don't question their gender identity just because they like to dress feminin, so why would I act any different with trans men?
It doesn't really affect me. Even if it would bother me, I still wouldn't spend my time caring because it has nothing to do with me.
I am pretty much gender abolitionist, in the sense that I belive that there should be no difference socially between men and women at all.
"Feminine" men, even if they are trans, bring us all closer to the ideal world where feminine and masculine do not have values attached to them.
Why would I feel the need to have any sexist expectations of anyone? Why should I expect them to be masculine just because they are trans men?
Idk, I am not sexist so...
I am pretty sure you got banned trough auto filtration. Sometimes it happens. You can appeal.
I say this because I also got banned due to auto filtration and when I asked them to actually look trough my posts, they said "Oh actually there is nothing wrong with those, it just goes after keywords" and boom I am not banned.
So uh, yeah. I don't feel like it's a cult (I have tons of trans friends, none of them has an issue with me detransitioning) I feel like some people, including that subreddit and this one too, are chronically online and think reddit (of all things, why reddit) is a good depiction of reality. (It's not)
I have seen so many out of touch takes everywhere lately, I just wish I could wash out my eyes with soap and forget about it.
So yeah. My best advice for anyone who is on reddit, and spiraling into believing that the world is against them, is to get off the app, and all social media for elongated periods of time and go outside, touch grass, love your people, get a hobby, and just don't look at your phone for a few days. Generally I have much less anxiety when I am not checking threads on reddit, and don't get mad at the opinions of people that are literally irrelevant in my life.
I mean a dragshow isn't the best place to determine it, + there are just regular cis women whom are also drag queens.
To answer the question without the drag context some trans men (not the majority imo), feel as if clothing should be genderless. Actually many trans people are deeply against gender norms and at least half of them said that if people wouldn't make a difference between men and women, masculine and feminin, they probably wouldn't transition at all, or would only get top surgery.
Which is I think an answer to your question: most people (including me) don't really like clothes to define them.
Like many cis women dress masculine or straight up like a man. I do too, sometimes. I don't think clothes = gender and neither do the majority of trans people. It's a pretty hetero normative way of looking at the world, isn't it?