I love your energy. There is no way to “feel like a man” because social standards create an idea of what a man is. It’s not real, it’s not biological, it’s all man made stigma. To be manly doesn’t mean to cut down trees and beat up criminals. Some of the most manly men i’ve seen are the ones who get called girly. The ones who create their own definition. The ones who don’t even try.

yes i just found out that too after posting on another sub...not sure why but finding that out made me actually scared now. I thought it said “rat” or maybe someone’s initials. for background i woke up one morning with this on my back porch. my door was kicked in and the second door had a broken handle. someone tried to get in. Not many people know me, and for that not many know where i live but my detransition was extremely abrupt, at least publicly. I went with an “f it” kind of mindset and went full on makeup, girl clothes, and hair extensions. So to many it looked like i was cross dressing or trans mtf. I’m also 17, in highschool. I walk to school and I walk to work and to town often. I could’ve been followed. I walk home from work after dark. :(

I’m so sorry your feeling lonely. But you have made really valid points and i’m glad as a new detransitioner to hear. Now that i’m detransitioning the gender clinic I went to that was about to provide me hormone therapy now doesn’t even know what to do with me and has no resources for me. And i wasn’t even medically transitioned! If they can’t even provide for socially transitioned detransitioned people I can’t imagine how it must feel as a medically transitioned detransitioner. I live in a rural non-progressive area so I had to travel 2 hours to go to my appointments for the gender clinic, and it took me 2 years to get this close to getting hormone therapy, but what scared me the most was the day I was going to get prescribed was the day I decided to detransition. If it took me 2 years to get this close and only one day to realize the truth, I can’t imagine what it’s like to have hormone therapy the day you ask for it. I can’t imagine how many vulnerable and questioning people get hormones so quick and then will probably regret it later on. This is becoming a crisis.

At the end of the day, us detransitioners got each other. I’m eager to start fighting for detrans resources, and seeing other detrans people talk about this issue just fuels me more and the need to be more open about this issue.

kids ask the strangest questions sometimes, and they don’t know what to hold back on. I’ve been asked “why are you so short” when I was ftm. and now i’m ftmtf i’ve been asked why do i have a mans face. lol for some reason when kids comment or question these things it hurts me more than an adult doing the same. maybe it’s because they have an unbiased view on the world and usually no intention to insult you, so they are brutally honest.

Yes. in my experience i was basically trans all over again. People today still believe i’m trans mtf when really i’m detrans ftmtf, and haven’t even ever been on hrt. i would say i have it easier than most others, but the social detransition put my life in danger once. someone came onto my back porch and vandalized homophobic slurs. i am a minor for context so being followed home (i work at night too) and having that on my porch that morning, was very scary. the police, weren’t able to do anything besides clean it up for us. so i feel like there is furthermore no protection for detrans individuals and no way to prevent this from happening than hiding inside and/or security cameras.

i can relate when i see trans kids my age on tiktok. I just want to comment or message them and give a heads up about what they are doing and the possibility of not being trans. especially the ones talking about or already on horomones. I dont want to come out and be like "ItS jUsT a PhaSE" because, it could be or not. i just cant stop thinking about it when i see other trans people. especially young like me.

are you thinking about detrans because of the transphobia or do you actually feel like being transgender isnt for you? if it’s because of the transphobia, i know how hard that is. But your not alone. If your wanting to detrans because of transphobia you’d basically be letting the transphobes win. if you are happy being trans but just upset with the transphobia chances are detrans would set you back.

However, if you feel like you aren’t trans after all, then take some easy steps to try and see where you actually fall into. if you are mtf and use she/her, try going by they/them for awhile and see if that’s better or not. try exploring different clothes. There’s also lots of tips and tricks on this sub for beginner detrans people. Whatever it may be, I hope you find yourself and don’t let the transphobia get to you.

Yes exactly. They idolize hormone therapy and make it seem great and like a life saver, which for some that might be the case, but for a lot of those that’s just manipulation. I never held back when talking about transitioning, but I always bit my tongue when I wanted to ask about detransitioning. They only mention it briefly and quickly as if they don’t care and don’t even want to talk about it. But they can go on for HOURS about how great hormone therapy is.

I’m kind of your neighbor, I’m in Maine. I live in super conservative town, and the city where I went for the clinic was super liberal. I feel like they had too much resources but not in the right places. Like they had too much funding for transitioning and not enough for detransitioning, and the conservative town I live in doesnt have any funding at all for either transitioning or detransitioning. Maine is a weird state. One street is trailer parks while the next is 2 story mansions with white picket fences.

If only people would consider the other side. If only we could have an equal balance of funding for all areas and for all types of transitions, including detransition. I really REALLY hope in the future we can make these changes.

Wow I can’t believe how similar our situations are. I’m glad you got your boss to have your back.

i’m not sure if my bosses are accepting or not. We don’t talk much honestly. They are desperate for me though, so I assume if I were to not feel safe and threaten to quit they may take action to make me comfortable. But yeah it’s just the idea that they could react either way that’s just nerve racking. But also you don’t know until you try. Since my coworkers think i’m a cis guy, they’ve never been afraid to hold back personal conversations. I think you may know what i’m talking about. But once they find out, if they ever do, i’m afraid things will be awkward since i’ve heard a LOT of personal stuff that they try not let the female coworkers hear.

Also they bully and treat the women at work really bad. The workplace is the biggest concern for me honestly.

thank you <3 this is new to me. i’ve had people from my school be mean online but never in person like this. we just had a trans student, who i knew personally, and was in my grade, commit suicide last month. he was only 15 years old. It devastated the town, the community, and the school. I’m just astonished even after losing an honest, loving, kind, trans person within the local community, people are still willing to do these things. Thank you for your kind words. I am going to invest in some self defense stuff.