This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The comments show:
- Internal Consistency: A coherent, multi-year personal narrative of being a detransitioned male.
- Emotional Complexity: A range of emotions (anger at medical providers, peace with the past, empathy for others) that is consistent with a genuine, passionate individual.
- Specific, Personal Details: Mentions of specific timelines (e.g., detransitioning seven years ago), physical effects of hormones, and personal motivations that read as lived experience.
The account presents as a real person who is a detransitioner.
About me
I was born male and transitioned because I felt I could never live up to society's idea of a real man. After several years, including surgery, I realized I was trying to escape that pain and it wasn't the right path for me. The medical system failed me by not questioning my decision enough when I was clearly struggling. It took years of depression and letting my body readjust to finally find peace. Now, I've rebuilt my life as a man, separate from those toxic expectations.
My detransition story
My whole journey started because I felt like I could never be a real man. I was born male, but I was bullied a lot and constantly told I wasn't man enough and that I'd never get a girlfriend. I started to internalize that and despise the idea of being a man because I felt I could never live up to those expectations. That self-hatred is what led me to transition.
I never felt I was born in the wrong body as a kid, but I did pay a lot of attention to male characters in movies, more than just wanting to be like them. Looking back, I think a lot of my struggle was with society's narrow expectations of masculinity and my own low self-esteem, not with being female. I transitioned socially and medically, and I even had bottom surgery.
After several years, I realized it wasn't the right path for me and I detransitioned. It was a difficult process. For the first two or three years after I stopped hormones, people often thought I was a trans woman because I had been on estrogen for so long and had long hair. It felt awful, like being stuck in a limbo. Cutting my hair short and letting my body readjust to its natural hormones over a long period of time eventually helped.
I don't regret my transition 100%, but I do have regrets. I think the medical system failed me. I made the decision to transition, but I believe it's a doctor's job to stop mentally ill people from making permanent decisions they might regret. It feels like malpractice to me; they gave me hormones and surgery without enough questioning, maybe because they had an agenda. It’s been seven years since I detransitioned, and while the regret never fully goes away, I’ve made peace with what happened.
Life after detransition was hard. I struggled with depression and addiction for a while. It takes a long time to deal with the regret and accept your new path. You have to allow yourself to feel the pain instead of ignoring it, or it becomes unbearable. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It does get better, and you can become a stronger person from the experience.
My thoughts on gender now are that my perception of masculinity was wrong. I had to reprogram my brain and rebuild my image of myself as a man, separate from those toxic expectations. I don't think I was ever truly a woman; I was just trying to escape from the pain of feeling like a failed man.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teen Years | Bullied for not being masculine. Developed low self-esteem and hated the idea of being a man. |
| 20 | Began social transition to female. |
| 21 | Started taking estrogen. |
| 23 | Underwent bottom surgery. |
| 24 | Realized it was a mistake and began to detransition. Stopped hormones. |
| 24-27 | Period of adjustment. People often mistook me for a trans woman. Dealt with depression. |
| 31 (Present) | Have been detransitioned for 7 years. At peace with my past and living as a man. |
Top Comments by /u/Xenomorpheus_487:
This isn't about me. It's so much bigger than that. This is about the future of treatment for individuals with gender dysphoria and comorbities that manifest themselves in a similar manner. Would you rather see a world with less or more detransitioners? Getting help is a good advice that I take to heart except there is no help to get.
I know how you feel. You're probably tired of people saying this but it does get better. More accurately, it does become more comfortable to live with your past. I was keeping it a secret for 7 long years before I gathered the strength to be honest about it and be at peace with what happened. I don't think regret ever goes away 100%. But it does go away to a degree that you can move on with your life. When life is tough you have to become even tougher. Sorry, That's the hard cold truth.
Detransitioning without explanation is exactly what I did. Like someonebelse here said, youbdon't owe anyone an explanation. If you have to, explain to those who you truly care about. When i detransitioned a lot of people thought I was transition from female to male without knowing that it wasn't my first rodeo.
You're not harsh, you're honest, and I appreciate that. I'm not a saviour and neither do I think of myself as such. I'm just a guy who tries to do the right thing when I have the opportunity. Was it my decision? Absolutely, no doubt about it. But isn't it doctors' and psychologists' job to stop mentally ill people from commiting to those decisions. If someone wanted to off themselves and their therapist was to give them advice on how to do it or even provided them a rope, do you still that the therapist is not responsible? By holding them accountable I don't mean recompensation. I mean owning to the malpractice they are commiting and taking responsiblity and necessary measures to limit cases such as ours. Especially when more and more doctors give their patients HRT without a second thought because they have an agenda in mind which matters more to them than patient's well-being.
I never felt like I was born in a wrong body at that age. But I remember paying special attention to male characters in films beyond that of "I want to be like him when Ingrow up". Heterosexuality was pretty much enforced in my family and my environment. I'm still trying to understand myself and it's good to realise that I will never have all the answers but I'll never stop looking.
I'm sorry that they made you feel like a traitor but I'm also happy you were able to find people who care about you.
As someone who has detransitioned seven years ago, all I can tell you is that it takes time to fully deal with the regret and everything that happened and fully accept your new path in life. Allow yourself to fully experience the pain for a short while. It's better than ignoring it and letting it accumulate to the point where it becomes unbearable. Things will get better eventually.
Another thing is, I do not intend to cure my pain. Pain is an essential part of life that makes us human and makes it possible to emphasise with others. But no, I am not in pain about it and that's not the reason why I'm doing this. It's been years since I transitioned and detransitioned and I'm at peace with it. Maybe you should stop analysing me like you know who I am or where I'm coming from. 😉
I relate to your story iin a way, although it was the opposite for me since I was born male. I was bullied a lot and told that I wasn't a real man or that I would never get a girlfriend. Eventually I realised I could never live up to expectations towards me as a guy and I started to despise men and idea of me as a man which led me to transitioning.
Give it time, change isn't going ton happen over night but do spend a lot of time contemplating and exploring your own mind. What helped me was slowly realising that my perception of masculinity and being a man was wrong and I had to sort of reprogram my brain and rebuild my image of myself as a man.
There is hope. I'd lie if I said that things will be just like before. Your life is forever changed. But you don't have to lead a bad life from now on. I struggled with depression and addiction after I detransitioned but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It can take time to get there but I do think you can become a stronger person in the process. Besides, you've gained some valuable experiences along the way.
I feel your pain. It's an uncomfortable position to be in. Are you wondering if that will always be the case? From what I have seen in most detrans females, as long as you haven't been on T for several years, most masculinising effects eventually go away, with voice being the one that might be permanently affected.
I'm a detrans male and for the first two/three years after I detransitioned people thought I was a transwoman. When I was actually trans, people for the most part thought I was a woman. I remember how awful it felt to be considered trans when I was finally done with all that mess. It felt like being stuck in a limbo. It didn't help that I had long hair (I listen to a lot of rock and metal). Cutting it short eventually did help, along with living without estrogen for a prolonged period of time.
Give it time. How long since you detransitioned?