This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on this limited data, the account appears authentic. There are no red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments reflect a nuanced, questioning, and deeply personal internal monologue. The user expresses uncertainty, explores complex feelings about social vs. medical transition, and provides specific, relatable details about their life and thought process (e.g., living with parents, commuting observations, personal grooming habits). This is consistent with a genuine individual questioning their gender identity.
About me
I'm a guy who started feeling deeply uncomfortable with my male body during puberty, especially with the hair and my changing shape. I found a lot of escape online, using a female name and pronouns, and for a while, it felt like a huge relief. I seriously considered hormones because I thought becoming a woman would fix my anxiety and low self-esteem. I realized my struggle was more about hating my male traits than having a female identity. Now, I've chosen not to transition and am learning to accept myself just as I am.
My detransition story
Looking back at my whole journey, it’s strange to see how everything unfolded. It started with a deep discomfort during my teenage years. I never felt like I fit in with the other guys. I hated the way my body was changing during puberty—the facial hair, the body hair, it all felt wrong and itchy and I couldn’t stand it. I spent a lot of time online and found a community where I could use female pronouns and a different name. That felt good for a while, like a relief. For about two years, living as female online was my normal, and switching back to male pronouns, even by accident, felt jarring and incorrect.
A big part of my initial interest came from escapism. I loved gender-bender and body-swap comics and shows. I wished it were that easy in real life to just wake up in a different body. I spent a lot of time people-watching on my commute, imagining what it would be like to be the women I saw—how they interacted, their style, just how they existed in the world. The idea of growing up to be an old man felt depressing and wrong, while the idea of being an old lady seemed much more appealing.
I had a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem, and I think I was looking for a way to become someone else, someone who would be happy. I considered taking hormones, even thinking about starting with a low dose to get softer, less noticeable effects. I was curious about the mental effects of HRT, wondering if it would finally make me feel calm and right in myself. I knew from the beginning that I probably wouldn't pass completely, and I told myself I was okay with that, as long as I wasn't in physical danger.
But I was also hesitant. I was living with my parents, which limited how much I could experiment in real life. The most I felt comfortable doing was growing out my hair and nails, shaving my body hair, and maybe painting my nails. I met some online friends in person once for a week, and being seen as female was really nice, but I wondered if that was just the novelty.
A turning point for me was realizing that a lot of my feelings were about disliking specific male characteristics—the angular body shape, the voice, the hair—rather than a strong, clear feeling of being a woman. It was more about what I wasn't than what I was. I started to question if I was just trying to escape from being me.
I never went through with any medical transition. I never took hormones or had surgery. I'm grateful for that now. After a lot of reflection, I realized that transitioning wasn't the solution to my problems. My issues were rooted in anxiety, depression, and a dislike for my body that was more about general self-esteem than a true gender identity. I’ve come to see my gender as just… me. I don’t really fit into a strict box, and that’s okay. I don’t regret exploring my feelings because it helped me understand myself better, but I do regret the years I spent thinking that changing my gender was the only way to be happy. I’m now trying to focus on being happy with who I am, as I am.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teenage Years (exact age unclear) | Started feeling strong discomfort with male puberty (facial/body hair, body shape). |
| Around 18 | Began using female name and pronouns online. Felt good and "right." |
| 20 | Met online friends in person for a week and was socially perceived as female. Enjoyed the experience but questioned if it was just novelty. |
| 20 | Seriously considered starting HRT but decided against it. Realized my discomfort was more about escaping male traits than a female identity. |
| Present (early 20s) | Stopped identifying as transgender. Now focusing on self-acceptance without medical or social transition. |
Top Comments by /u/YellowFoxThrowaway:
Hello fellow Scandinavian! Heck, you sound like me xD
Gender-bender and body-swap type comics and shows I still can't get enough of and I wish it was that easy and such perfect results IRL ^-^
I'm considering just diving into HRT and trying it for a bit to see how it makes me feel, but it feels a bit dangerous at the same time. Those mental effects I've heard about I'm unsure if they area due to the hormone levels changing or simply because of people getting progress in something they feel strongly for, and therefore manage to be more relaxed about though. Perhaps a bit of both?
I'm similar in that I seem to feel more positively about a medical transition but I'm less certain about the social one. Or at least going towards a female/feminine body even if I don't do so fully. Was thinking if maybe like, keeping HRT doses lower than normal would make it a lighter but still noticeable effect or something.
That example you mention is one of the reasons pulling me towards the idea of transitioning. I mentioned it a little bit in my post but I can elaborate.
Before the pandemic making us work from home, I spent a lot of my days on the train and train stations, seeing people everywhere. Teens, adults, elderly. And given my mind is in the train of thought that it always is currently, I always thought about if I were them what it would be like. Body-shape and abilities, behaviour and interactions with people, styling possibilities(although I don't know a lot about styling so imagination is super limited) and just.. existing in general, enjoying life in a body you feel comfortable in. Seeing how teen girls behaved compared to teen guys, adult and elderly women and men the same.
I always felt more pulled towards how the girls interacted, and often felt like I could just be one of them. By comparison, guys quite frankly suck a lot of the time in how they are. Though that's not really related to gender as it is just how they have behaved through life probably. As you mention, picturing myself as an old guy feels really off-putting and wrong(perhaps partially because I dislike my own grandpa a bit xD), whereas it feels like I'd enjoy being an old lady much more.
Facial hair and probably as much bodyhair as possible will go eventually regardless, I've never liked it and hate how quickly it gets back to an itching level just after a few hours. No question about that part at least.
Yeah given what it's about, if I have the option to pick I would just pick being happy with me as I am today somehow. It's difficult when you keep finding reasons to transition(even partially) and can't come up with any real reasons not to though.
There's not really any other ways currently I could explore, given I still live with my parents. And accepting or not, there's some things you just don't want to do when you're not alone. Growing my hair and nails, and shaving everything somewhat regularly is the level I'm at right now. Maybe some nail paint if I dare ^-^
Online I've gone by mainly female pronouns and such for about two years now, and apart from the times when it triggers my questioning I think it feels good. And the times I've gone too anxious and tried returning back to male it's felt wrong, as has it done when people switch by accident. But it's a bit different than doing such for real. The one week it happened when I met some online friends in person it was pretty nice, but that could be explained away as a novelty pretty easily so I'm not considering that too much.
I'm not one to just blindly follow others for the sake of it, I hope. At least I never really have before. So I don't think that part is too much of a risk at least. More so just that it's gotten me to consider the different possible outcomes and which ones I might want and definitely don't want.
I think I'd be fine with that actually. It feels super unlikely to pass entirely, I knew that pretty much from the start of considering it all. As long as it doesn't mean I'll like.. get physically assaulted in broad daylight or something, a few bad looks and comments I can withstand.
Honestly, I think style choices are a silly reason to transition.
Oh yeah no that wasn't really a list of reasons to transition, more so just my thought process I guess.
And yeah if I decide I want to make an effort to pass and get to that point, I would do it for the sake of transitioning socially.
Everyone talks over me already, but I prefer listening anyway though so that's fine ^-^
Honestly it's probably most male characteristics, I just didn't really mention the more square, angular and like.. wider body and facial-shape, plus voice, which is the other main points I'm quite bleh about. Confusion for sure though yeah.
And yeah I'm going to try to experiment at least a bit where I can. Some pushing is required for me to actually do anything, but as you say, being comfortable with it is super important.