I don’t know the science, but it used to be something like 90% of people that transitioned were men in their 30’s (transitioning to female), now it’s 90% teenage girls (transitioning to male). One thing that is scientifically proven is eating disorders with teenage girls are possible to be spread by “social contagion”.

Just from my own personal observation, I have seen a group of six people in a friend group all come out as trans within 6 months of each other. Now you can say well maybe they were all drawn to each other somehow without knowing they were trans, but I don’t know. The odds of 6 out of 6 people in a friend group, all in the same school all being trans, just seems really high to me. Just as an observer, it seemed like one person identifies as trans, they get a bunch of positive attention, people call them brave, tell them how proud they are of them, etc.

If you’re a teenager that doesn’t fit in, suddenly you have this instant connection with anyone else that’s trans. You’re accepted with all your quirks and no matter how you physically look. I don’t know any other instance where you can be part or a group and be able to go online and get a bunch of positive feedback (within the group that is).

I think most teenagers are lost in some way, so having an identity, a friend group, attention, purpose, can all be appealing.

Not say thing this is everyone, there are other reasons people transition including Internalized homophobia, Autogynephilia, trauma response, not wanting to be sexualized (female to male generally). Or some combination of all of the above along with or without things like autism, OCD, other mental health issues.

I don’t think it’s all just down to a social contagion, it’s not that simple, but I do believe there is a social contagion aspect to it, at least in some cases.

Yes, even if it’s a small percentage, that percentage still matters.

I don’t think it’s a valid argument to say something like “20% of people that get knee surgery regret it”

Okay, but what if it was “20% of people who get knee replacement surgery actually didn’t need knee surgery” Of course they would regret it if it wasn’t needed and led to complications.

Regret while knowing all the risks is one thing for something medically necessary. It’s a total different situation when it wasn’t medically necessary.

Is there any other medical situation where we just take the word of the person? You wouldn’t perform a knee replacement just based on someone’s word. It would be a huge scandal if that was the case. Those people wouldn’t just not matter because they were a small percentage.

Not mention, we don’t know what the future holds. What happens if it takes 10 years on average to detransition?

There isn’t even any tracking of transition / detransition. Let alone looking into the causes of transition/ detransition.

If it’s such a small number that detransition, then it should be easy to do an in depth analysis of the factors leading to transitioning and transitioning. These are still people’s lives. People still matter. To wave it off as “oh it’s only some small percentage” might as well be saying detransitioners don’t matter.

I think it’s going to be tough, I think part of the reason people say some of these things is because they want to delay adulthood and responsibility. I think it’s not just accepting your body and yourself for who they are, but accepting how the world is. You’re probably not going to be making $25 an hour with full benefits for an entry level job with no experience. You’re probably not going to be a social media influencer. It’s better to start living life now than thinking X,Y, and Z needs to happen for you to start living life. It’s not healthy to make transition, or anything else for that matter, your one and only obsession. There’s probably never going to be some magic moment when you can shift from A to B. I think it’s a way to fool ourselves, like later on I will travel, later on I will go to college, in reality you will probably still essentially be the same person. It’s going to be just as difficult then, maybe even more so than now, because you may have developed bad habits. Like if you’ve spent a decade just being online, not cooking, not cleaning, then suddenly you think you will be this super motivated person. Life usually doesn’t change in big leaps, it’s small steps. Take small steps now rather than thinking you will take a huge leap later on. I don’t know if that makes any sense or not or whether it applies to this situation.

I saw this video and watched a little bit here and there. First off it seems like a really stupid format. People have to run to get to speak? You’re probably only getting really aggressive people speaking in the first place. Then there is a timer? So everyone is probably already in this hyper aggressive state and trying to say what they want quickly. (Maybe that was intentional?)

So rather than a calm rational discussion (I mean, already people are going to be on edge because of differing views), you have this adversarial rushed situation.

I wish I knew something that would help. I’ve seen similar changes in people that later identified as MtF. It’s almost a hatred toward cis men in particular. Straight men are the enemy, close minded, privileged, sexist, inherently racist, etc.

If you’re a straight guy, surrounded by people saying these things, you might begin to hate yourself. Or maybe you think because you are not those things that you must be trans.

I’ve also seen people get absolutely obsessed over gender. I doubt anything I could say or do would matter. I just try to be a word of caution, like “you know you get absolutely obsessed over certain things and it hinders your judgment”. Maybe try and make sure they take care of their other mental health issues before going on hormones.

See if you can get them to participate in actives that don’t involve gender.

I don’t know, you can’t help people that don’t want help. Maybe you can be the one to bring things up. For me, at the time I felt I was 100% of something and it wasn’t who I was. It was me being what I thought other people wanted me to be. Hopefully your friend will take a long hard look inside to find what they truly want in life.

I think there is some overlap in the reasons why certain people ID as emo or trans but I also think it might be a little too simplistic of reasoning.

I think the “group” for those that are trans friendly is larger. Most liberals / people on the left, support trans ideology. I have seen it first hand, someone comes out as trans and people say they are brave and how proud they are of them. You wouldn’t have people call people brave for being emo.

Being trans puts you into a group that’s seen as oppressed. Emo, okay you’re “special” and you’re in your own group, but you’re not part of a movement. Being T, puts you in with LGBTQ+.

I saw a post where someone was afraid of detransitioning because of what their lgbt friends would think. I think that goes to show how powerful being part of that community is.

Emo, you were more part of your own little outcast group. Trans you’re really only an outcast to conservatives. I’ve also seen it almost like a badge of honor to offend conservatives.

I think the group aspect is strong though. I’ve even heard people say that when you’re trans you have an instant connection to other trans people. You can meet a trans person for the first time and you know they will 100% accept you, not just for being trans but any weird hobbies or lack of social skills.

But this also as you sort of mentioned it almost seems like competition to see who can be the most oppressed. I’ve seen an entire friend group all come out as trans, then all come out as having DID, then all having some kind of physical issues (like needing a cane and wheelchair). I’ve seen people all trying to “one up” each other with who is on the most medications, who is seeing the most doctors, who had the most issues, and so on.

There’s much more to unpack.

I think a big one you may have missed is Autogynephilia (defined as a male's propensity to be sexually aroused by the thought of himself as a female.)

Another one, I am not sure the best way to phrase it because it’s not exactly simple and I feel it involves overlapping reasons to various degrees.

Part of it I believe is wanting to be part of an “oppressed” group. If you are white and straight, you’re basically at the bottom of the liberal hierarchy. Especially is you are male, you are told you are privileged and basically a bad person just for existing. You’re not just not special, you are evil incarnate. If you struggle in life and are supposed to be privileged, who can you blame but yourself? Nobody is giving you praise because you’re not accomplishing anything.

This is mostly from my own observations, I am not saying this is always the case or that being a liberal is a bad thing, so this may not apply in every case. But from what I have seen, someone comes out as trans, suddenly everyone is telling them how proud they are of them and how brave they are. It seems like an instant ego and self esteem boost. Now you’re part of this special LGBT marginalized group. You can’t be bad, evil, privileged, because you’re in a special group of people.

Now your struggles can be explained away. You’re not doing well in life because you are “working on yourself”. You now have a blueprint of goals to accomplish. (Which I am sure certain things like OCD / autism can make these obsessions). Each “step” is a milestone. Name change, first time going out in public as the opposite sex, first time being gendered as the opposite sex, going on hormones, any surgeries, etc). You now have a “purpose” in life and that purpose is the one and only thing that matters.

Also as part of this group you have an instant connection to anyone else that’s trans. Everyone is instantly loving and supportive, even people you just met. Maybe you didn’t have many friends, now you have an instant bomb with anyone that’s trans.

So I am not sure how you would summarize that, self hatred for being straight, wanting to be special / part of an oppressed group, finding an identity and purpose in life, having an reason for struggling that’s not your own doing, getting praise and positive affirmation from others, having a connection to anyone else that’s trans.

Especially if you have autism or other mental health issues then maybe you’re already struggling to make friends and connect to people. And let’s face it, most young people probably struggle with direction in life. Then you get told by the media in one way or another that you’re privileged. Being trans it’s like the ultimate “proof” that you’re not racist and sexist.

You may think I am exaggerating, but in one detrans video someone specifically brought up sone of these points, like over half of their college classmates identified as LGBT in some way.

It can suck to be seen as bad just because you’re not LGBT or a minority. You’re not in “the club”. You don’t see yourself fitting into the other club, like you’re not into playing sports, you’re not a conservative, so you don’t fit in there. In the liberal club what seems to matter is how “open minded” you are. If you’re straight then you are close minded for not being willing to date the same sex as you. But as trans you can be a FtM dating a MtF and still be part of LGBT. The more you’re against gender norms and such the more enlightened you’re seen as.

Sorry, that was a bunch of rambling, but I have seen groups of people all come out as trans, and I don’t think it’s just because of the things you listed so far. It could be a combination of some of those things, but I feel it’s also more this desire to feel special when you’re lost in the world.

It might one of those inverse things, the parents that have the most blame take the least responsibility, the one’s with less blame take the most responsibility.

I know it’s not that simple, I know many people whose kids developed a drug / alcohol addiction or ended up in jail, and the parents wonder what they did wrong / what they could have done different. Sometimes the parents are not all to blame. Or maybe they do take some blame but it’s tough as a parent to do everything perfect. Will the kid resent you for being too strict? Will they resent you for being too lenient?

In clear cases of abuse, obviously they hold blame and should take responsibility. But also, nobody is perfect.

20 is still young.

It may sound cliche, but there is someone out there for everyone (as long as you’re a halfway decent person). It’s also kind of cliche but you need to like who you are before expecting someone else to like you. Just try and be yourself and be true to yourself. Not every guy wants a girl that gets her nails done. Someone out there will see the positives in you but you have to see them in yourself.

I see things both ways.

Some trans people just want to fit in and not draw attention to themselves.

To others it’s like a status symbol to be trans. Their whole identity is being trans. They complain how the world is out to get them and how oppressed they are. If you meet them for the first time they will tell you how they are trans within the first 30 seconds of meeting them. It might even go beyond “pride” they see themselves as better than others because they don’t follow gender stereotypes (in the sense that men can be women and women can be men, even if they are following gender stereotypes of being born male and dressing as a women).

This isn’t everyone out there so sorry if I am being harsh, maybe I just have bad experiences with groups of trans people being insufferable.