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Reddit user /u/_Adela_P_'s Detransition Story

Transitioned: 17
female
low self-esteem
internalised homophobia
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
trauma
depression
influenced online
influenced by friends
got top surgery
serious health complications
now infertile
retransition
homosexual
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
benefited from non-affirming therapy
autistic
ocd
trans kid
This story is from the comments by /u/_Adela_P_ that are listed below, summarised with AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.

The user shares highly specific, personal medical details about breast reconstruction that are consistent over multiple comments and demonstrate real-world experience. Their concern for a young relative is expressed with nuance and personal investment, which aligns with a genuine, passionate individual rather than a scripted persona. The language is natural, empathetic, and complex.

About me

I'm from London, and my discomfort started as a teenager when I hated the development of my female body. I was quickly diagnosed as transgender and rushed onto testosterone and surgery, even though I had other serious mental health issues that needed care first. I don't regret my mastectomy itself, but I deeply regret the rushed reason for it and that no one helped me explore my feelings. I've since learned through proper therapy that my desire to transition was a way to escape from my other conditions, including autism and OCD. I'm now left with permanent infertility and surgical complications, a constant reminder of a path I was too vulnerable to take.

My detransition story

My journey with gender started when I was a teenager, though I didn't realize it at the time. Looking back, my discomfort began during puberty. I hated the development of my breasts; they never felt like they belonged on my body and caused me a lot of distress. This feeling was wrapped up in a lot of other issues, including low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. I now believe I am also on the autistic spectrum, which made social interactions and understanding my own place in the world incredibly difficult. I used escapism to cope, retreating into my own mind to get away from these confusing feelings.

I started identifying as non-binary first. It felt like a safe middle ground. But the pressure, both from within myself and from online communities and friends, pushed me further. I became convinced that my deep discomfort meant I was a trans man and that medical transition was the only answer. I was so sure of it. I had a private consultation at a gender clinic in London when I was 18. They affirmed me immediately, telling me I was transgender "without a shadow of a doubt." I was a highly gifted but very vulnerable young person with a lot of co-morbidities, including OCD and possible dissociative disorders, and I had a terminally ill parent. I needed careful, long-term counselling, but instead, I was given a quick diagnosis and a path to hormones and surgery.

I went on testosterone and later got top surgery. The surgery was a double mastectomy. I don't regret the mastectomy in the sense of wanting my breasts back; I still have that deep-seated discomfort with them. But I deeply regret the reason I had it done and the speed at which it happened. I wasn't in a stable place mentally to make such a permanent decision. The clinic completely undermined any chance of proper exploration by rushing to affirm me.

My detransition hasn't been about going back to living as a woman in a traditional sense. It’s been about untangling my gender feelings from my other mental health struggles. I’ve benefited from non-affirming therapy that finally addressed my OCD, autism, and trauma, rather than just blaming everything on gender dysphoria. It helped me see that my desire to transition was, in part, a way to escape from myself and from the pain of my other conditions. I also struggled with internalised homophobia; I think a part of me found it easier to envision myself as a straight man than to come to terms with being a gay woman.

I have serious health complications from my transition. I am now infertile, which is a profound loss I have to live with. My body has been permanently changed. I also had a breast reconstruction on one side later for medical reasons unrelated to my detransition, using the Lat Dorsi method, which reroutes a back muscle. It left me with significant scarring and that side of my body is weaker. I have issues with the reconstructed breast "clenching" sometimes because of the rerouted nerves. It took a couple of years to fully settle. I'm now lopsided, as I only had one side done, and I have to wear padding to even it out. I have no sensation in the nipple.

I don't have all the answers about what gender is. For me, it was a symptom of deeper problems that needed treating first. My biggest regret is not getting that help sooner and being fast-tracked onto a medical path without anyone asking why I felt the way I did. I was a trans kid who was failed by a system that chose affirmation over understanding.

Age Event
13-14 Started experiencing significant discomfort with puberty and breast development.
17 Began identifying as non-binary.
18 Privately diagnosed as transgender and started testosterone.
19 Underwent double mastectomy (top surgery).
27 Underwent breast reconstruction on one side for medical reasons.
29 Now

Top Reddit Comments by /u/_Adela_P_:

5 comments • Posting since June 7, 2019
Reddit user _Adela_P_ comments on a private UK gender clinic's rapid affirmation of their 18-year-old FtM relative, questioning the ethics given his complex mental health and a terminally ill parent.
29 pointsJul 19, 2019
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My 18 year old relative (FtM) recently paid to have a private consultation at GenderCare in London. The clinician affirmed him straightaway on that one visit as Transgender, “without a shadow of doubt”. He has complex mental health needs as well as a terminally ill parent.

I have been talking on Twitter to Dr William J Malone the US based Endocrinologist, who said that this is highly unethical - in countries like Denmark he would have received at least a years’ careful counselling before arriving at any kind of conclusion.

I’m not transphobic, I just want to make sure he is in a stable place and really certain that this is the right course of action before embarking on a lifetime of hormones and surgery. I feel that Gendercare have completely undermined any chance of this happening by rushing to affirm him without properly exploring his MH background. He has many of the co-morbidities associated with Gender Dysphoria including OCD, dissociative disorder, and is possibly on the Autistic Spectrum. He is a very bright and talented individual, highly gifted and articulate, and seems absolutely certain that this is what he wants. But how can one be sure at 18? And where are the safeguards if he’s wrong?

Reddit user _Adela_P_ comments on a dysphoric female's post, suggesting they get checked for ADHD, noting its link to autism, high intelligence, and an increased likelihood of gender dysphoria.
8 pointsJun 7, 2019
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Hello, I wonder if you have been checked for ADHD - it’s an Autism Spectrum Disorder which often means highly intelligent and talented people find difficulty in getting their lives on track. Research has shown that there is an increased likelihood of gender dysphoria associated with this condition. There are good treatment options which can help.

Reddit user _Adela_P_ offers support and advice to a suicidal individual, suggesting medication, CBT, and emphasizing their bravery and unique gifts.
8 pointsJun 13, 2019
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I’m sorry you feel like this, and that you say therapy hasn’t helped. I agree with the post above that getting some medication could be a good idea for when the feelings get too strong. Could CBT help or have you tried that too? It seems to be a useful way of breaking negative thought patterns which are obviously out of control at the moment. I’m sure no one judges you as harshly as you seem to be judging yourself. It would be a shame to end your existence because you’re very brave to have survived so much, and no doubt you have your own unique gifts to share with the world, Hang in there. A breakthrough could be just around the corner.

Reddit user _Adela_P_ explains her experience with Lat Dorsi breast reconstruction after cancer, noting scarring and reduced strength, and discusses an alternative saline injection method for gradual implant expansion.
7 pointsJun 11, 2019
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I’ve had a reconstruction on one side after breast cancer using the Lat Dorsi method - rerouting the back muscle and stitching it to the chest to cover a small implant. It’s OK, but there’s a lot of scarring on the back and makes the left side of the body less strong. I do yoga to help keep strong and I healed really fast.

I did explore the implant behind the chest muscle which sounds like what you are considering. It involves having saline injections every few weeks to gradually increase the size allowing the muscles to stretch. I decided against this as I was quite traumatised with hospital visits so just wanted it over with, but I would imagine it could work for someone detransitioning in the sense that they would grow over a period of weeks and months so you could gradually get used to them again. And at least you’ll never have to worry about breast cancer!

Reddit user _Adela_P_ explains her long-term experience with a 2011 breast reconstruction surgery, detailing issues with muscle "clenching," lop-sidedness, and lack of nipple sensation, while offering advice to another user.
4 pointsJun 11, 2019
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Yeah, I don’t mind at all, happy if I can be of help.

I do have some issues with the breast “clenching” sometimes, but I think that’s because there are still nerves from the back muscle that was rerouted to use as a “sling”. The implant was placed on top of my chest wall muscles and the back muscle was stitched on top of them. Anyway nowadays it doesn’t bother me really, though it was painful when I was healing, a bit like a cramp. I had my surgery in 2011, and I would say it took a couple of years to settle down fully, though I was doing yoga again within 6 weeks and off the painkillers in a couple of months.

If you have an implant under the chest wall muscles, idk if this would be an issue, since it is a different set of muscles. They would be gradually stretched by injecting saline solution into a hollow implant. Your surgeon can advise you about this.

The main issue I have now is with lop-sidedness, because I only had the one side done, and my “real” breast is now skinnier than the implant, I’ve considered more surgery to even them up but at the moment I just add padding to the smaller side. It’s fine, it doesn’t even show in a bathing suit.

I can’t exactly remember the type of implant but it’s silicone I think. I was a bit worried that it would harden as I’ve been told they sometimes do but it’s fine, nor do I have much scar tissue internally so I’ve been told. I was told they last from 7 years to a lifetime, it’s been 8 years and still doing OK.

Sensation wise I have no feeling from the nipple as I had to have it removed (they are often where cancer recurs) so had another that was created afterwards via a small cosmetic surgery procedure and later a tattoo. Presumably you still have your nipples so idk if you still have sensation but I wouldn’t imagine having implants would make a difference in that case. Again your surgeon will be able to advise you on this.

I wish you all the best, and really hope you find your happy place. The reason I’m on this thread is because I have an 18 yo relative who has just come out as trans and I’m horrified by what I’m discovering in my attempts to support them through research.