This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user consistently identifies as a gender non-conforming woman who never identified as trans, which aligns with a desister perspective. The comments show personal reflection, nuanced opinions, and a consistent, passionate concern for vulnerable girls, all of which are typical of a real person engaged in this community.
About me
I was a tomboy growing up in the 80s and was often mistaken for a boy, but that was just accepted back then. I see young girls today who are like I was being convinced they should be boys, and it breaks my heart. I realized there was never anything wrong with me, and the real goal is to build a happy life that works with the body you have. I'm nearly 40 now and have finally built a life where I don't have to fit into anyone else's box. My only regret is for the kids being led down that path too quickly without considering the long-term health effects.
My detransition story
My whole experience with gender started long before I even knew what the word "trans" meant. I was a very gender non-conforming girl, always mistaken for a boy. I grew up in the 80s, and back then, that was just the way I was. I was a tomboy, and that was okay. I’m really glad I was a kid back then, because if I’d been a teenager today, I’m almost certain I would have been persuaded that I really was, or should be, a boy. That idea really gets to me.
I never actually identified as trans or transitioned myself, but seeing what’s happening now makes me feel afraid for every girl who reminds me of the girl I was. I see intelligent, sensitive girls who are vulnerable, just like I was, and it breaks my heart. At best, some of the brightest biological females of a generation are losing years and parts of their health on transitioning and possibly detransitioning later. At worst, we completely lose them. I was bullied as a kid, and I know that almost all autistic kids are bullied. Today’s ideas about gender seem to provide a way to “remake yourself” and finally fix everything that feels wrong, which is a powerful temptation when you’re hurting.
For me, I realized there was never anything wrong with me to begin with. There are rather masculine women and non-stereotypical men, and that is completely fine. It’s exhausting to work against your body or the mind you’ve been given. The real work is to build a life that makes you feel good with the biology you have. I’m nearing 40 now and I’m finally putting the finishing touches on my own life, on “this is how things should be,” and it feels great. I’ve built a life where I don’t have to fit into anyone else’s box, whether it’s the poster child for trans activism or a picture-perfect feminine woman. You don’t owe anything to any group identity.
Looking back, I have no regrets about my own path because I never medically transitioned. My regret is for the kids today who are being led down that path too quickly. I worry about the long-term health effects, like cardiovascular issues, that seem to be downplayed. Your body has to carry you for decades, and you need to make sure that the 40 or 60-year-old you doesn’t want to kick your younger self for the decisions you made.
My thoughts on gender now are that it’s okay to just leave the issue up in the air. You can try to get healthy physically and mentally, enjoy your life, and then re-evaluate whether you even care about all things gender anymore. There are so many possible lives to live. The goal is to be happy, completely irrespective of what gender you identify with.
Here is a timeline of my journey, based on my experiences:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood (1980s) | Grew up as a very gender non-conforming girl, often mistaken for a boy. |
| Childhood | Was bullied. |
| Nearing 40 (Present Day) | Have built a life that feels right for me, accepting myself as a masculine woman. |
Top Comments by /u/__Lyssa__:
As a former _very_ gender non-conforming girl (often mistaken for a boy) and now gender critical woman (because I realize the danger of having considered myself trans should I have ended up a teenager today), I could not agree more.
You and other desisters, detransistioners and questioning trans people deserve and need this space and I for one will post nothing that would put that at risk.
Well the lawsuits have started in UK already and even the BBC (had to) run a critical report on GIDS.
I don't know if this was in international phenomenon but in Germany in the 60s-80s there was a huge push to decriminalize "non-violent pedophilia". Lots of progressive people and organizations and even significant parts of the Green party lobbied for that cause and signed petitions. The pedophiles were the new gays and had to be liberated. Besides, they really love those kids, don't you know...
That did not age too well and now quite a few people have been publicly shamed for signing their name to that and most likely many more are still trembling of fear of being exposed.
Unfortunately for the "transition for children"-brigade, much less will be conveniently lost and forgotten this time around with the internet instead of leaflets and obscure journals being used to air those new fancy ideas.
I'm sure that's a very difficult realization but it is a step forward.
Unfortunatly almost all autistic kids are bullied (I was) and todays gender woowoo seems to provide an opportunity to "remake yourself" and finally fix all that is wrong about you (thankfully, that was not an option when I was young).
The point ist: There is nothing wrong with you and has never been! There are rather masculine women and non-stereotypical men. And that is completely fine!
Generally speaking, it is exhausting to work agaist your body and/or against the mind that you've been given. Work with what you have. And build a life that makes you feel good with your male biology and your autistic mind. Nothing is wrong with either! I'm nearing 40 and just in the process of putting the finishing touches on my personal "this is how things should be". And it feels great! And yes, I sometimes relish the fact that the lives of some of my former bullies have taken a suboptimal trajectory. Who laughs last...
Have you or has anyone else in the field that you are aware of ever systematically compared the hormone levels of dysphoric individuals with non-dysphoric individuals?
Just to be certain that what you're perceiving as the endocrine factors of gender dysphoria are not part of the normal human diversity.
Yes, absolutely. I mean, that's why we don't let them vote or mail order stuff... :-) I can easily see myself having been pursuaded that I really was/should be a boy. That's why this issue really gets to me besides never having considered myself trans (thanks to growing up in the 80s).
Same. A clarification would be useful. Does the rule mean "do not express an opinion if somebody should or should not detransition" or does it mean "do not comment on anything re detransition".
Practical example: Somebody asked about how to check female fertility after detransition. I answered along the lines of: I'm not detrans but this is how you generally assess the stage of a woman's fertility.
Is that ok or should I not post something like this in the future?
The only thing that comes to my mind that is not on your list already are the long term health effects (cardiovascular and other) which seem to be downplayed a lot both by doctors and activists. Maybe ask some older MtF transexual/transgender people who are public and vocal (and lean gender critically) about their experience?
Remember that you need to use your body in whatever form - hopefully - for decades to come. Make sure that 40-60 year old you does not develop a wish to kick its younger self.
All the best to you whatever you decide!
Same. And what is especially sad is that especially intelligent and sensitive girls are vulnerable. At best, some of the brightest biological females of a generation lose years and parts of their health on transitioning (and possibly detransitioning later), at worst, we completely lose some of the brightest biological females of a generation.
It makes me afraid for every girl who reminds me of the girl I was.
" I was chased out of the community and I started to self-harm as I counted the days eagerly and planned out the most painful way to kill myself, it's what I deserved is what I thought!"
That was so sad to read, truely noone shoud feel this way or made to feel this way!
Glad, you are in a better place right now and even helping others. You are doing great work here!
Advance warning: I've never identified as trans but am just a very gender non-conforming woman fed up with children like her being identified and medicated as trans today. So maybe I just don't know what you are talking about in which case you should simply dismiss my opinion...
With that said in advance: What could make you happy completely irrespective of what gender you identify with? Would it be a possibility to just leave the gender issue up in the air and try to get healthy pysically and mentally, enjoy your life and then re-evaluate whether you even care about all things gender anymore? There are many possible lifes to live. You don't need to be either the poster child for TRAs or gender critical feminists. Just like you don't need to be a picture perfect "feminine woman" because you no longer identify as trans. You don't owe nothing to any group based identity.