This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments show:
- A consistent, personal narrative of questioning and detransitioning (AMAB) over a two-year period.
- Emotional complexity, self-doubt, and nuanced reasoning that is difficult to fake.
- A natural writing style with personal anecdotes and empathetic advice to others.
The user's passion and occasional frustration align with the expected emotions of someone dealing with this difficult experience.
About me
I was born male and lived as a woman for four years, taking hormones because I felt I couldn't meet the expectations placed on men. I loved the physical changes at first, but I realized my transition was driven more by social anxiety than a true identity. I almost had surgery but stopped because I was terrified I was making a permanent mistake. I've since stopped hormones and am living as a man again, though my body is permanently changed from my time on estrogen. I don't fully regret my journey, but I've found more honesty with myself by slowing down and addressing my underlying anxieties.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and I’m still figuring a lot of it out. I was born male, and for about four years, I lived as a trans woman. I took estrogen and blockers, and for a long time, I felt sure that was the right path for me. I loved having softer skin and looking more feminine. I even had perfect, porcelain skin on hormones, which was a big change for me.
But underneath it all, I was struggling with a lot of anxiety. A big part of why I transitioned was because I didn’t feel safe in the social role of a man. I felt like there was a certain ‘energy’ or ‘vibe’ expected of men that I couldn’t live up to, and it made me deeply uncomfortable. I’ve always been pretty androgynous naturally, and I even felt a little envious of other males who were more feminine than me.
I got to a point where I was approved for bottom surgery, but I started to get really scared. I began to worry that I had rushed everything and that I needed to slow down. I was afraid that there were feelings I hadn't explored that would come back to bite me later in life. I thought about postponing the surgery so I could get into a better headspace, but I was also scared that if I did, my doctors might take my diagnosis away and see me as a "looney" for being unsure.
I realized I needed to deal with some possible underlying issues before making such a permanent change. I was worried that if I went through with it and everything went well, I’d probably be pleased with having a vagina, just like I was pleased with being a girl for a while. But the doubt was too strong to ignore.
Eventually, I stopped taking hormones. My body reacted; my face and upper back broke out with bad acne, which was really tough after having such clear skin for so long. It felt like my body was struggling to readjust.
Now, I’ve sort of gone back to living as a man, but it’s not simple. Sometimes it felt easier being a transfem person, and now it can feel like I’m struggling to pick a character in a video game. I have moderate breast tissue from the years on hormones, which is a permanent reminder of that time. I don't think too highly of myself, and I'm a gay man now, which is its own thing to get used to.
I don’t have any serious health complications from the hormones, but my body is definitely changed. I don’t regret my transition entirely because it was a path I needed to walk to get to where I am now, which is a place of more honesty with myself. But I do have regrets about how fast I moved and not questioning things more deeply sooner. I think I benefited from slowing down and not getting that surgery. My thoughts on gender now are that it’s incredibly complicated, and for me, a lot of it was tied up in social anxiety and a discomfort with expectations rather than a true identity.
| Age | Date (if known) | Event |
|---|---|---|
| (Started transition) | (Before 2021) | Began identifying as a trans woman and started estrogen and blocker HRT. |
| (Age during comments) | 2021-08-28 | Was approved for vaginoplasty but expressed serious doubt and considered postponing it to address underlying issues. |
| (Age during comments) | 2022-01-16 | Spoke about social anxiety relating to male gender roles and envy of feminine males. |
| (Age during comments) | 2022-08-18 | Had been on HRT for ~4 years, noted having perfect skin from estrogen. |
| (Age during comments) | 2022-08-18 | Had stopped HRT, experienced acne breakouts on face and back as a result. |
| (Age during comments) | 2023-07-29 | Stated I had "recently sort of gone back to being a man" and was offering advice to others questioning their appearance. |
| (Age during comments) | 2023-08-04 | Identified as a detransitioned gay male living with breast tissue developed from prior hormone use. |
Top Comments by /u/__babyJ__:
hi! AMAB person here. im not an endocrinologist but i think there’s difference whether you get your testosterone naturally from your body or through HRT; it seems more straight forward with the latter. i know many males with perfect skin, and like wise females can have acne, all while never pursuing medical transition to my knowing. male hormones make you more prone to acne yes, but it’s not that simple and has a lot to do with luck and genetics. might just be an adjustment period after which your acne will calm down?
i had perfect porcelain skin with about 4 years of estrogen and blockers. after stopping my face and upper back had unfortunate breakouts too. now im on blockers again tho.
yes. it’s starting to feel more and more like i’ve rushed things and i need to slow down. if everything went well i would probably be pleased with having a vagina like i’ve been about being a girl altogether, but im afraid these feelings i haven’t explored that much come bite me in the butt later on life.
yes, i remember she said she doesn’t have anything against trans women and also correctly gendered the person causing the scene. i think it boiled down to rose not using 100% politically correct terms or something. she clearly meant good and ugh idk intersectionality is good but the trans woman basically said rose is in the wrong for not including every single living being in her activism. if you state something like that i feel like you should be offering your help for poor people in some 3rd world country or summ
is there anything male typical in your appearance you like? even a smallest thing? give yourself permission to feel good about that thing despite all the stuff that’s bothering you.
do you use ig, pinterest, anything where you come across with pictures of boys and men you’d like to look like yourself? find some inspo. what could you do to achieve some of the features they have?
hair has a huge impact on appearance too. what style you’d like and what could suit you?
what it comes to clothing, i don’t think you have to go overly masculine, something gender neutral (t-shirt, slacks) is good as long as it’s clean and fits nicely. find a cool jacket you like. just make sure you feel comfortable both physically and on a mental level.
i’ve recently sort of gone back to being a man and i acknowledge, it can get tough.
you seem to be comfortable leaning towards androgyny, and showing bulge down there is considered a masculine thing in society. if you’re now feeling more comfortable being perceived male, visible marks of your junk will maybe start feeling normal with some time too. transitioning is a sign you have/had difficult feelings about masculinity so take it easy; tuck it if it feels better in the moment, start by eg. taking the trash out with bulge showing and if it seems ok go bigger (pun intented). babysteps.
it would offer more time thinking and dealing with some possible underlying issues. i’d like to be in a better headspace if i proceed to have the surgery. but im also scared that if i postpone i suddenly feel sure about being 100% femme again and it will be just another day in the in-between for me
i feel you. sometimes it’s so much more simple being a transfem but if there’s any questioning and you’re content with how you’d look as a man it feels unnecessary. but, being a man comes with all kinds of anxiety which resulted in transition originally. to me, it kind of feels like struggling to pick a character for a video game or something at this point.
best regards, another nice looking detrans gay male with moderate breast tissue from hormones who doesn’t think too highly of themself either.
thank you for your answer! im sorry to hear about your social situation. for me there’s also this certain ’energy’ ’vibe’ associated with being a man like you wonderfully described and i just don’t feel safe being in a social role in which those things are forcefully expected from me. im pretty androgynous naturally but i also feel this little envy with natal males who are more feminine than me, in certain characteristics at least. hope you’ll find some peace with this, it gets so complicated thinking about this stuff.
i’d like to. im just not sure how that happens in my country at this point of transition process. also kinda afraid if i open my mouth and my diagnosis for trans identity is taken away from me for me being a ”looney” like this. if they can even do that i mean lol