This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The comments demonstrate:
- Consistent, nuanced perspective on detransition, trauma, and gender.
- Empathetic and personalized advice that responds directly to other users' specific situations.
- Natural language variation in tone, from supportive to critical, over a long period (2021-2024).
This is consistent with a passionate, long-term participant in the community.
About me
I started feeling completely disconnected from womanhood when my body changed during puberty, and I hated my breasts. I found an online community that told me this discomfort meant I was trans, so I started identifying as a man and had surgery. For a while, I felt relief, but my deeper depression and anxiety never went away. I realized I had to confront my internalized misogyny and poor self-esteem instead of changing my body. Now I'm detransitioning and learning to live as a woman again, finding peace with the permanent changes I went through.
My detransition story
My journey with gender was a long and confusing one, and looking back, I see now that a lot of my feelings were tangled up with other issues. I never felt like I fit in, especially during puberty. I hated the changes in my body, particularly my breasts developing. I saw them as a sign of a womanhood I felt completely disconnected from. I think a lot of this came from a place of low self-esteem and depression. I didn't see my own value, and I started to believe that if I wasn't an attractive woman, then maybe I wasn't a woman at all. I had this idea that being a woman was all about being found desirable by men, and since I didn't feel desirable, I thought I had failed at it.
I found a lot of community online that affirmed these feelings. People told me that my discomfort meant I was trans. At the time, that felt like an answer. It gave me a new identity to try on, a way to escape the person I was. I started identifying as non-binary first, and then later, as a trans man. I think I was heavily influenced by what I was reading and seeing online; it created a blueprint for a kind of unhappiness that I then applied to myself. I started testosterone and eventually got top surgery.
For a while, after the surgery, I felt a sense of relief. The parts of my body that caused me the most distress were gone. But the underlying problems—the depression, the anxiety, the feeling of being fundamentally wrong—never went away. I started to realize that changing my body hadn't solved anything. It was like putting a bandage on a wound that needed stitches.
A big turning point for me was re-evaluating my ideas about men and women. I had built up this fantasy in my head about what men were like, influenced by things like "boys love" manga, which I now see are often fantasies created by and for women. I had to learn to humanize men, to see them as just people, not as ideals. I also had to dismantle my own toxic ideas about womanhood. I had to ask myself, "Is that all there is to being a woman, being attractive?" I realized there was so much more, and that my value wasn't tied to how others perceived me.
I don't regret my transition in the sense that it was a path I had to walk to get to where I am now. It taught me a lot about myself. But I do regret not dealing with my underlying mental health issues first. I regret not understanding how much internalized misogyny and body dysmorphia were driving my decisions. If I had worked on my self-esteem and challenged my black-and-white thinking earlier, I might have avoided medical interventions that permanently changed my body.
Now, I'm detransitioning. I'm living as a woman again. It's hard sometimes, especially dealing with the physical changes from testosterone and the absence of breasts. I've thought about wearing falsies or even getting implants someday to help me feel more like myself again. It's a process, and I'm taking it one day at a time. I'm learning to accept my body as it is now and to find peace with my past.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Around 12-13 | Started puberty, felt intense discomfort and hated my breasts developing. |
| Around 18-19 | Found online trans communities, began identifying as non-binary. |
| Around 20-21 | Started identifying as a trans man and began taking testosterone. |
| Around 22 | Had top surgery. |
| Around 24-25 | Began to realize my underlying issues weren't resolved, started detransitioning socially and stopped hormones. |
| Present (exact age not stated) | Living as a woman, focusing on mental health and self-acceptance. |
Top Comments by /u/_fanservicefriendly_:
Is that all there is to a woman, being attractive? So if you’re not attractive enough, you might as well not be a woman? There’s so much more to it than that. Being a woman hasn’t worked out for you because you believe some men don’t think you’re hot enough? Tbh— that’s a state that is fairly endemic to being a woman pretty or not. There’s always going to be somebody prettier.
Still— Nothing about your post says you want to be a man. You just have some seriously toxic ideas going on about womanhood, value, and physical appearance. I suggest working on those rather than making a drastic change.
Also looks have no relation to sexual assault.
“I find it can be exciting”
Neat— but she said she’s not comfortable with it. She doesn’t want her husband to watch it. Why would she want to witness him watching other women’s bodies? Having to sit there and watch her husband be turned on by other women? It’s a nightmare for somebody uncomfortable with porn.
I’m seriously so sorry for all of this. I really feel for you.
Have you tried wearing falsies, even just in private, to give you that sort of feeling again? May be a good way to privately test the waters before maybe some day getting implants. And I mean sure implants wouldn’t be “the same” but they would help your sense of self a lot it seems like to me. I know you’re not quite out as detrans yet, so this is all a lot to take in. At some point though, you may need to be honest with those around you to live the life you want and need.
I have to agree. This individual as internalized a certain romanticized idea of sex between men. This is not a physically reality for many men who have sex with men. Often “boys love” manga are written by women, for women, because it’s selling a fantasy.
I think something that might help you is not relating attractiveness and kind behavior with a lack of trauma. That “Chad” at Home Depot could’ve come from an awful home. We don’t know that he has this perfect well adjusted background. These irl guys who find you attractive are only human, just like you. They aren’t these supremely attractive demi gods. Just an attractive guy. There’s no need to pedestal these guys, and I think as you continue to seek positive and healthy interactions with men irl (which I think is a great idea) you will be able to humanize them more.
You also assume a lot about what types of men are attracted to what types of women. You’re right that there is a strong trend toward being into feminine women! That’s real. But it isn’t this precise mathematical equation where you can then calculate “well hyper masculine men are only into feminine, un traumatized women.” There are manly dudes out there who want a masculine woman to keep up with them and their manly ass hobbies.
Black and white thinking is the enemy of peace of mind.
Can I be honest with you? You are not presently trans. This (meaning, being detrans) is not something you need to disclose until later— that is ever really. Unless you want to. But if you don’t really want to, please feel free to tell your story on your own schedule, however long that may take. It’s up to you. It’s your right, your story. Unfortunately, we can’t control the reactions of others, and while many people will be down with you, some won’t understand. That sucks, but at the end of the day? Fine. It would t have worked out anyway!