This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments display a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally charged perspective that aligns with a desister/detransitioner's experience. The writing is complex, personal, and contains specific anecdotes (e.g., choosing the name Nicholas, issues with a nurse, personal dating history) that are difficult to fabricate consistently. The passion, anger, and dark humor are consistent with someone who has experienced significant personal harm and stigma on this issue. The arguments, while strong, are not simple copy-paste talking points but reflect developed personal reasoning.
About me
I started identifying as a guy named Nicholas as a teenager because I thought the world would be safer and I would be more respected as a man. My desire to transition was a reaction to the misogyny I saw and a way to escape the fear and sexualization that came with being female. I realized my true self wasn't male, but a person who was deeply uncomfortable with how women are treated. I never medically transitioned, and I'm now grateful for that as I've come to accept myself as a bisexual woman. This confusing journey ultimately helped me understand that my female biology doesn't define my personality, but it is a fundamental part of who I am.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was a teenager. I never felt a strong connection to being male or female. I knew the basic biology from a really young age, it just didn’t feel like it defined who I was inside. When I was younger, I ended up identifying as a guy for a while. My chosen name was Nicholas. Looking back, I think a huge part of it was that I just didn’t like being a woman. I didn't hate my breasts in a dysphoric way, but I hated the sexualization and the fear that came with having a female body. The world felt safer as a man.
I think a lot of my feelings were rooted in internalized misogyny. I saw how women were treated—the constant fear of being attacked, the pressure to be a certain way, the expectation that your main purpose is to be with a man. I thought that if I were seen as male, people would take me more seriously. Men wouldn't see me as a target, and I might be respected as an equal. I also had this idea that testosterone would make me stronger and better able to defend myself. It felt like an escape from all the things I hated about being a woman.
I was also influenced by the online spaces I was in, especially on Tumblr back in the day. The information was different then; it was more about warning that binding could damage your body and that hormones aren't simple. Now it feels like the conversation has shifted so much. I saw a pattern where a lot of people, especially young women, were transitioning because of trauma or other mental health issues like anxiety and depression, not because it was truly right for them. I noticed that almost every "trans boy" I met was gay or bi with a preference for men, not straight. It made me question things.
I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I only transitioned socially. I’m grateful for that now because it meant I could walk away without permanent physical changes. I started to realize that my desire to be male wasn't about an innate identity, but a reaction to the misogyny I saw and experienced. I didn't want to be a woman in a world that treats women so badly. I also came to understand that my consciousness, the "me" inside, would be the same no matter what body I was in. I don't feel like I have a gender deep down; I'm just a person.
I don't regret exploring transition because it helped me figure all this out, but I'm glad I didn't go through with any medical procedures. I think I benefited from stepping back and questioning everything. My thoughts on gender are pretty simple now: a woman is an adult human female. It’s not about clothes or personality or interests. It’s biology. For me, that’s enough. I don't think it's possible for a female to want to be seen as a man without that feeling being influenced by misogyny in some way, because we live in a world full of it. I’m a bisexual woman, and I’m comfortable with that now. The journey was confusing, but it led me to a place where I understand myself better.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Around 14-15 | Started socially transitioning to male, using the name Nicholas. |
| Late teens | Was actively identifying as male online and in some social circles. |
| Early 20s | Began to seriously question my transition, realizing it was linked to internalized misogyny and a desire to escape the difficulties of being female. |
| Mid 20s | Stopped identifying as male and accepted myself as a woman. |
Top Comments by /u/_iamacat:
I mean this isn’t gonna be the answer you necessarily want and is probably more sassy than others but
TERF is a buzzword used by men, and women with internalized misogyny, to invalidate the thoughts and feelings of women - just in a new shiny package that makes it 💖 okay to do 💖
Can’t be a TERF if you’re a run of the mill grade feminist :-)
If you are an American, nowhere in the constitution does it say you are obligated to be around people you don’t want to be.
And guess the fuck what… there’s nothing wrong with being a TERF. Remember how in its inception, it was used to target cis females and lesbians who didn’t want to fuck trans women? And it was actually also used to target people who were otherwise accepting but acknowledged that there were in fact physical differences between natal women and trans women???? Oh yes. The term means fucking nothing except ”You have offended me personally because you don’t want to bone me”. Sounds like a man problem.
I don’t know how to get away from them either. This is the only “queer space” I participate in and even that gets sketchy.
It’s been going on for years.
I feel like it’s a lottle bit of children not knowing what the fuck is going on with them (usually hormones/puberty, inability to control new emotions, form healthy boundaries with these new emotions and the products of those emotions), trauma bonding with other fucked up people, a lottle bit of not understanding comorbidities and what conditions can and cannot occur together, and a little bit of XYZ will get me attention.
And I don’t think as many of them are as autistic as they think they are. Yes, there are a lot of children that are “missed” - but these people are obviously functioning, attending school or college among their peers, getting jobs, forming bonds with other people, have good linguistic command, have age-appropriate interests, are learning about gender and sexuality and can obviously use pronouns correctly.
I think they’re mistaking the fear and awkwardness that comes with being a young adult with autism. ADHD, anxiety, and depression can cause similar reactions to sensory processing disorder AND ADHD can have fixated special interests WITH sensory processing disorder WITHOUT being autistic.
When I was younger the list of disorders to have was BPD, DPD, autism, ADHD, depression. If you were edgy, the list HAD TO have ASPD. If you were SUPER weird, you had DID. All of them had gender fuckery going on. None of them were over the age of 25 and very rarely were they over the age of 18.
Nah this is worth breaking up over. It sounds like they’re a demiboy. You want to be with a girl, they’re not a girl, they’re actively avoiding female femininity - so why should they be a lesbian’s girlfriend? Such a decision literally validates their identity lol
“Non-men loving non-men” is so offensive to me somehow like please,,, just let women have something
Like when I was in the depths of tumblr the help provided was binding can damage your body and your breast tissue, hormones aren’t just a boy/girl pill and surgery can have complications - now we’re straight up saying when I was your age I transitioned up a hill both ways in a snowstorm, you fucking poser
I mean I as a woman define the term woman as - like others - an adult human female. There’s no need to make it complicated or overthink it.
If we must get complicated I add a personal exemption for people born XY that have complete androgen insensitivity syndrome because it’s probably the most depressing thing I’ve ever had to read about
My personal opinion falls thru multiple things.
- They’re actually cishet and have a traumatic relationship with their gender.
- Fetishism.
I can only speak for the female side of things but let me tell you every fucking “trans boy” I met was gay or bi male leaning, nobody was straight or actually LIKED girls.
It’s amazing the difference between males and females.
The male perspective: I transitioned because emotions = bad and also I don’t wanna be dirty
The female perspective: I transitioned because I didn’t want to be raped or forced into pregnancy or be constantly sexualized my every waking moment while being told that men are physically stronger than me and I should never ever trust them and I always am looking over my shoulder to make sure I’m not going to be attacked and the paralyzing fear when random fucking men come up to my car window and KNOCK when I’m just trying to read a Wikipedia article BUT ALSO also every woman should aspire to have a man in her life because OUR ONLY PURPOSE TO EXIST IS TO FUCK AND DIE!
That’s not the point… breast reduction surgery can be medically necessarily. Some women have to take hormones of varying types for reproductive conditions but can also be medically necessary.
Yeah you can be a cis woman and look however you want but the problem is is that mentally ill and traumatized people don’t make rational decisions about their world or body and one way it presents is by choosing to be transgender.
No I would consider this stepping on your identity. Just by the small bit I have heard of them I doubt they’ve even realized they’re doing this b/c they’re too busy thinking about threats to their OWN identity, nor do I think they have ever even said “so I know you like girls and I’m thinking I’m not a girl, if you want to break up lmk”
Are y’all very young? If yes, expect a nuclear fucking meltdown when y’all break up lmao
I think it’s another weird flavour of misogyny but I can’t really describe why it tastes like misogyny right now lol.
I’m not trying to say here that pregnancy is the be-all-end-all of a woman’s life and it is certainly not where I’m steering my life either - but having large gametes and the general ability to get pregnant by having the plumbing to do so literally defines what it is to BE a woman. Not clothing, or personality, or interests, or how big her breasts are.
But an individual woman should not be defined as “less than” because her body won’t let her carry a fetus to term, and an individual woman should not be defined as “better” because she popped out 10 kids.