This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The comments demonstrate:
- A consistent, nuanced, and passionate perspective on gender.
- Personal, lived-experience language (e.g., "we were all trans," "as a gender nonconforming person").
- Engagement in complex, multi-paragraph arguments and empathetic advice, which is atypical for bots.
- A tone of frustration that aligns with the stated experiences of many detransitioners and desisters.
About me
I never felt like I fit in as a girl and was deeply uncomfortable with my developing body during puberty. I found community online and transitioned, believing becoming a man was the solution to my depression and discomfort with being female. I now see my transition was a form of escapism from societal pressures and that I was encouraged without being asked the hard questions. I regret the permanent changes, like infertility, from taking testosterone and having my healthy breasts removed. I've come to accept that I am female, and I'm now focused on living my life in this body.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started because I never felt like I fit in as a girl. I was uncomfortable with my body when puberty hit, especially when I developed breasts. I hated them; they felt completely foreign and wrong on me. I think a lot of this was tied up in a deep discomfort with being sexualized and the expectations that were placed on me as a female.
I found a lot of community and answers online. The trans narratives I found made everything click into place for me. It felt like the solution to all my problems: my depression, my anxiety, my general feeling of being out of place. I was heavily influenced by what I saw in online spaces and by friends who were also exploring their gender identities. I started by identifying as non-binary, but that quickly shifted to identifying as a trans man. It felt like a more solid and definitive answer.
I began taking testosterone. I was sure it was what I needed to finally feel right in my body. I pursued top surgery and had my breasts removed. For a while, I did feel a sense of relief. I felt like I was finally solving the problem of my body.
But over time, the initial high wore off. I started to question what I had done. I began to realize that a lot of my desire to transition wasn't purely about some innate gender identity. I think it was a form of escapism. I was running from the discomfort of female puberty and the societal pressures that come with being a woman. I was also dealing with internalized issues, and I wonder now if some internalized homophobia was at play, making it difficult to just be a masculine woman.
My thoughts on gender have completely changed. I believe now that we are our sex. That’s just biological reality. But that doesn't have to dictate your life. Your sex doesn't have to determine your personality, your clothes, your hobbies, or how you express yourself. I think the current conversation focuses too much on internal identity and not enough on freeing everyone—boys and girls, men and women—to express themselves however they want without oppression. In a better world, we’d be fighting for femme boys to be accepted, not telling them they might be girls.
I do have regrets about my transition. I regret the permanent changes from testosterone and having my healthy breasts removed. I am now infertile, which is a serious and lasting consequence. I look back and see that I was encouraged and affirmed every step of the way, with very few people asking me the hard questions or suggesting I might be okay just as I was. That’s why spaces like this are so vital. Sometimes, the most caring thing someone can do is tell you "no" or "wait" when everyone else is just saying "yes."
I’ve come to a place of acceptance now. The first step for me was accepting that I am female. It’s just a fact of my body. My journey took me down a difficult path, but I don’t beat myself up about it anymore. Life takes us on many strange roads. Now, I’m just trying to live my life and have a healthier relationship with the body I have.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Started puberty; began to feel intense discomfort and hated developing breasts. |
| 19 | Found trans communities online; identified first as non-binary, then as a trans man. |
| 20 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 22 | Had top surgery to remove my breasts. |
| 25 | Began to seriously question my transition and started the process of detransition. |
| 26 | Stopped taking testosterone. Accepted that I am female and began living as a woman again. |
Top Comments by /u/a_war_e:
That oppression of gendered expression is in part why we're in this situation to begin with. In a parallel universe where the gender convo is about expression instead of identity, I imagine activists are fighting to validate femme boys instead of yelling about language and identity semantics.
The first step is to accept that we are our sex.
It's just biology. It doesn't have to dictate what clothes you wear or what activities you be a part of. Reevaluate what sex means to you, and try to have a healthier relationship with your body.
I would say I live with a bit of gender-existentialism after having been trans. But you know what? I suffered an existentialism-existentialism before that, lol. Life takes us on many paths; don't feel bad about yours.
I know you were banned, and I'm sorry for that. I understand the moderators want to keep this a safe space for us. If this weren't the only space in which disagreements with the prevailing ideology were permitted, maybe we could have had a conversation. Maybe we both wouldn't have to resort to echo chambers. It just so happens your echo chamber is the entirety of reddit, social media, leftist spaces, schools, doctors offices, and almost all discussions of gender in public life. You yourself are not even allowed to have difference in opinion about what transition is, as a trans person! The postmodern interpretation of transition has dominated, including in trans spaces. No one should have the power to dictate ontological theory this way, and you should all be pissed off with us instead of at us.
I would have liked to talk to you about this. I'm not entirely against transition for those with absolutely severe dysphoria -- but that isn't at all the public discourse. That very sentiment will get you banned from trans spaces and social media for differing with the trans essentialist consensus. And I really really think the 'trans or s*icide' narrative is horrible and dangerous, even for trans people.
I would love if there were spaces you could openly discuss and debate gender. As a gender nonconforming person, I would like to discuss the ways our culture creates the 'trans or s*icide' dichotomy by oppressing and othering gender nonconformity, and that it's part of our binary gendered 'realism' we live in. Gender used to be such an important subject for me. Now, it's a fascist cult.
So you want to critique us? Start by understanding what you're criticizing. Because we were all trans. We've all been where you've been and know where you're coming from. And that's why we're speaking out.
Are you saying you have a kink for being misgendered? Or just that you enjoy being feminine in sexual settings? It's a little hard to tell what you're wanting to say.
Maybe you're fine being a woman, but you'd rather not be sexualized in public? That's totally normal.
This may be the only space they have to tell them "no."
I understand your frustration, but remember how important that can be when everywhere else is telling you "yes". This isn't just a space for those of us who made the leap, but also for those who need encouragement.