This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and personal perspective. The user ("aagp78") shares specific, reflective experiences about being an older desister/AGP individual, offers empathetic advice, and demonstrates a coherent internal logic focused on caution, self-acceptance, and the complexity of identity. The tone is passionate but measured, which aligns with a genuine person who has strong feelings on the topic.
About me
I started exploring cross-gender feelings in my 40s, which I now see were tied to old childhood trauma I’d never dealt with. For me, this manifested as autogynephilia, which wasn't about porn but was my mind's way of coping with that pain. I decided against medical transition and instead focused on improving my mental health through therapy, exercise, and cutting out stress. As I worked on my underlying issues, those powerful fantasies lost their control over me and became manageable. I don't regret exploring my feelings, but I'm glad I treated the root cause of my trauma instead of just the symptom.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started later in life, in my 40s. Looking back, I see now that a lot of it was tied up in old childhood trauma and emotional pain I never properly dealt with. I didn't have the tools to handle it back then, and it came out in this specific way.
For me, a big part of my feelings was what's called autogynephilia (AGP). It was a powerful fantasy, but I've come to understand that it wasn't about a porn addiction or anything like that. It was my mind's way of coping. I want to be clear that I don't think AGP comes from porn; lots of people have issues with porn who aren't AGP. For me, it was its own separate thing, rooted in those deeper issues.
I never medically transitioned. I explored these feelings and for a while, I thought it might be the path for me. But I took my own advice that I'd give to others: I took it slow. I gave myself time to figure it out. I realized that exploring cross-gender feelings, even intensely, doesn't automatically mean you're trans or that you have to transition. It can just be a part of figuring yourself out, even if that happens later than for most people.
I benefited from working on my mental health in other ways. I focused on reducing stress, cutting out toxic people, meditating, and working out. I put energy into my hobbies and friendships. As I did that, the AGP fantasy lost its power. It didn't go away completely, but it found a balance in my life. It became something I could manage instead of something that managed me.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's complicated, and it's deeply personal. For teenagers especially, I think it's so important to slow down. Everyone is confused as a teenager; it's a universal experience. Being jealous of other guys or hating your breasts can feel like a huge, defining thing, but it can also just be a passing dysphoria. You have your whole life to figure it out. You don't mature overnight; it's a process that goes into your mid-20s and beyond.
I don't regret exploring my feelings, but I am glad I never took medical steps. I think if I had transitioned, I would have regretted it because it would have been treating a symptom instead of the cause. The cause was my trauma and my need to process those old emotions. Addressing that was what really helped me.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood | Experienced trauma and emotional strains that went unprocessed. |
| Early 40s | Began seriously exploring cross-gender feelings and AGP fantasies. |
| Early 40s | Realized these feelings were linked to past trauma, not a porn addiction. |
| Early 40s | Decided against medical transition. Focused on mental health improvements like meditation, exercise, and hobbies. |
| Early 40s | Found balance; AGP feelings integrated and became manageable without defining my life. |
Top Comments by /u/aagp78:
Nofap is nice, but combine it with other mental improvements: reduce stress, exclude toxic people, meditate, do cardio and some workout, pick up or continue hobbies, spend more time with friends...
And don't worry about AGP. It is a fantasy, a good one, but it can fade, and you can have a balance in your life, integrating it into your everydays...
As an AGP in my 40s, I can calmly say that my AGP has very little to do with porn or sex addiction, and has very much to do with childhood traumas and unprocessed emotional strains that I was immature to handle at that time. I agree, transitioning for AGPs should be gated somehow, but I don't think that AGP originates from porn or sex addiction. Many-many non-AGP persons are porn- or sex addict, so it seems to be an uncorrelated factor.
You are young and as a teenager, you have an entire universe to figure out: what is you, what is the world, and what is your relationship to the world? Take it slow... Everybody is confused as a teenager, and for some, it even lasts in their sixties... Give yourself time to figure out yourself, what you feel and think...
Being jealous and wishing to look like a good-looking guy... may be just that, nothing more. It may be that you have a passing dysphoria and in a few years, you will be just fine with your femininity. It could mean other things, it may be that the gender-roulette gave you different path, and you need to consider more drastic measures. However, it is early to tell, and obsessing over it is just not worth it.
So... relax. Give it time. Most people will not really mature up until their mid-20s... You are only in the beginning of that process. Enjoy the ride :)
Be cool, you are likely not trans. Exploring cross-gender scenarios are normal, although most do it while they are preschool, but some of us do it in our late 40s :D That doesn't mean you are trans at all, nor does it "force" you to transition or anything.
When I was 14, I was clueless, ignorant, and dumb. If you were to ask my 14-year old me about this stage of your life, you'd get garbage advice. To be honest, even at 21-year old I would have given you garbage advice. Just saying, that while your age-cohort may be close to you what you want to hear, and how you speak, doesn't necessarily the advice you want to seek.
To be honest, as I age, and as my friends age, I think that being honest will just tear up these friendships. Even a (mentally) strong person can have a bad day coinciding with when I start being really honest with them, and it could throw the relationship under the bus. It is not worth it. Everybody has some shit to work through, it is a mostly alone battle. At best I could give them a shortcut somewhere, but it may be I just robbing them of an important step. You never know.