This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on this comment history, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments display a consistent, nuanced personal history (e.g., a 10-year eating disorder, athletic background, specific age references) and show natural, empathetic engagement with others' experiences. The user identifies as a female who considered transition ("desister") and discusses body issues with a passion that aligns with a genuine, lived experience. The tone is conversational and varies appropriately between supportive, curious, and personal.
About me
I'm a 25-year-old female, and my struggle started with an eating disorder and deep discomfort with my body during puberty. I considered transitioning because online spaces presented it as a solution for not fitting female stereotypes, but I never went through with it. Recovering from my eating disorder and supportive therapy helped me realize my distress was from not fitting a narrow box, not from being the wrong sex. I found peace by understanding that my personality and interests don't define my womanhood. Now I'm comfortable in my own skin, a strong female who is finally at home in her body.
My detransition story
My journey with my body and identity has been long and complicated, and it’s deeply tied to my long struggle with an eating disorder. For about ten years, my eating disorder was my main way of coping with not liking my body. Looking back, I can see that a lot of my discomfort was also tied to internalized misogyny and just not feeling right during puberty. I hated my breasts and felt incredibly self-conscious about being a female, especially one who had a lot of interests that people called "masculine," like computer science and athletics.
I never medically transitioned. I thought about it a lot, especially when I was younger and my body issues were at their worst. I spent a lot of time online in communities where transitioning was presented as a solution for feeling uncomfortable with your sex, and I was definitely influenced by what I saw there. I also had friends who were exploring gender, and that made me question myself even more. For a while, I identified as non-binary as a way to escape the pressure of being a woman. It felt like a middle ground.
My recovery from my eating disorder was a huge turning point. I was about two years into recovery and finally starting to feel good, but then I took a babysitting job for a family with really disordered eating and exercise habits. Being around that environment made me relapse hard; I started cutting my food intake in half. What saved me was my boyfriend, who has a really healthy relationship with his body and food. He reassured me, and getting out of that toxic environment helped me get back on track. That experience showed me how much our surroundings can influence these deep-seated issues.
Therapy was also immensely helpful for me, but it was a type of therapy that focused on accepting my body and working through my underlying issues like low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression, rather than affirming a new gender identity. It helped me come to terms with the fact that I am a female, and that’s okay. There doesn't have to be one way to be a woman. I can have visible veins on my arms from being an athlete, a deeper voice from singing, and love "guy" hobbies, and none of that makes me less of a woman.
I’m now 25, and I’ve noticed that for me and almost everyone I know, a lot of these intense feelings of distress—whether from depression, body dysmorphia, or gender-related discomfort—really leveled out in our mid-twenties. We all just became more sure of ourselves.
I don’t regret not transitioning. I’m glad I found a path that led me to accept and even appreciate my biological sex. I see now that a lot of my feelings were about not fitting into a stereotypical box, not about being born in the wrong body. I think my experience shows that for some people, these feelings can be worked through with non-affirming support and time. My thoughts on gender now are that it’s a social thing, but your sex is biological. Personality traits aren't masculine or feminine; they're just human. I’ve found peace in knowing I can be a dominant, strong, athletic female without having to change my body to match a stereotype.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| ~15 | Struggles with body image and eating disorder begin. Discomfort with puberty and developing breasts. |
| ~23 | Begins recovery from eating disorder. Starts to feel better about body. |
| 23-24 | Babysitting job triggers relapse into disordered eating habits. |
| 24 | With support from boyfriend, overcomes relapse. Continues therapy focused on body acceptance. |
| 25 | Finds significant peace with body and identity, realizing discomfort was not gender-related. |
Top Comments by /u/acepeds:
That was so beautifully typed out. I teared up reading it. 🥺 I don’t know if I’ve ever read someone’s journey completely laid out like that before, it was very interesting. Glad to know you’ve found your confidence! ♥️
(Side note, I often wonder if I’m a good person or not but after reading how horrible some of those people were to you I’m like “Holy crap, I guess I’m alright. 😰” Can’t believe how awfully they treated you!!)
Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to have a penis, to have something so sensitive at my crotch be so vulnerable and out there, and then I’m like naaaaah
Maybe one day VR will be advanced enough within your lifetime to give you the experience you crave. Who knows! 🤷🏼♀️
Congrats! Glad you’re excited. :)
I have a question about your voice, is it deep from testosterone or did you make it deep? I’m just curious because I can make my voice pretty deep (not sure if this is “natural” or from years of imitating male singers lol) but I noticed that I can’t be very loud with my deep voice, if I want to speak up and have people hear me better from across the room then I need to have a more “feminine” voice haha. Not high per se, just not deep. If I speak too much in my deeper voice it hurts my throat as well compared to my clearer female voice. I’d be curious to know if you experience something similar!
Yea, I was about to comment and be like that’s masculine? Hahaha I’ve never been on T or anything, mine just naturally look like that when I’m doing something or moving around a lot.
And to the poster, you got this! Some women have to have their breasts removed from cancer or are naturally just really flat chested, we need to get this “idea” of what a female is supposed to look like because there’s a huge range of how we can appear. :)
Well, I never knew vein “bloating” was a thing either so I guess we both learned something! I used to be a high performance athlete, and I don’t know if this is totally correct because I heard it so long ago but one of my coaches told me that veins can get more efficient the more fit you are, so I’ve always wondered if my veins get more visible when I’m active because of all the years of athletics? My grandma was also a farm girl and she has wicked veins on her arms and hands, so maybe there’s some truth to that! Or just genetic. Either way, very naturally occurring haha
Thank you so much for sharing, I had a really similar experience growing up and hearing stories like yours makes me feel less alone. :) Good luck with computer science! I hope you don’t have to deal with too much misogyny/sexism there, but sounds like you’re going in with a strong mindset. ^_^ I am so grateful for the male dominated spaces I’ve been in that treated me like an equal human being, but I also didn’t take no crap! XD I think being a female who has a lot of typical guy interests sort of helped me bridge the gap that a lot of the guys there had with women/typically feminine things, which was a cool experience.
“The branch of technology that deals with dimensions and tolerances of less than 100 nanometers, especially the manipulation of individual atoms and molecules.”
I think I was reading about this like 20 years ago and they wanted to use it to boost immunity and make our biology generally more resistant to aging/disease/wear/etc. 😆 Probably nowhere near this actually being a thing but I just thought of it hahaha
Edit: I mean, it is a thing, but you know what I mean. More commonly available lol
As someone who struggled with an eating disorder for about 10 years, what you described sounds exactly like I went through but with my entire body instead of my sex (although to some extent that was part of it due to internalized misogyny).
I was 2 years into ED recovery and feeling pretty good about myself, but then spent the summer babysitting a couple kids whose parents have very disordered views and habits (they’re always on a diet, they’re lean but think they’re fat and comment on it often, their diet is highly restrictive, they’re constantly exercising because they think if they don’t spend 5 hours a day exercising hard they will become obese). Being around them made me so self conscious, I began feeling fat again, and I cut my food intake in half despite being active for 20+ hours a week (these parents also expected their kids to be running around for 8 hours a day on minimal food intake and a low carb diet... these kids are under 10 years old). What stopped me from this was being reassured by my boyfriend (who is very “normal,” fit, and has zero disordered habits) and getting out of that environment. It can be hard depending on your situation (for example, I was with this family because work options were extremely limited and I needed income) but if you can find a community such as this one to help you it can help so much. Therapy also helped immensely... I’m guessing that’s much more difficult with gender issues because of the current climate surrounding it. Coming to terms with my biology and body type was also nearly impossible for me until I met people who valued me physically and emotionally as I was, as well as trying to limit my media exposure to things that wouldn’t trigger me... I don’t know if any of this helps, but I hope so.
Do you think it would be helpful to try and see things in a different way, like the benefits of being biologically female? In a patriarchal world it’s hard and we’re still learning about our bodies but they do exist. Maybe changing your ideas of “dominance” could help too. Like in my family, I would say my mom is the more “dominant” of my parents. It’s not so much about your gender, but more personality (society makes it easier to and expects men to be more dominant but in my experience it’s all been personality. I can’t even say my mom is the dominant one in the relationship because she’s a masculine female because she’s quite traditionally feminine).
Anyway, I hope you feel at peace soon. I know how awful and intrusive those types of thoughts can be (even if it’s not the exact same scenario). The world doesn’t make it easy but I believe in you. :)
Edit: OH I also forgot, I don’t know how old you are but what I’ve noticed with every person I know who is about my age (I’m 25) is that ALL of us, whether it was depression, dysphoria, ED, etc lost a lot of these feelings when we hit our mid twenties. It’s like everything leveled out more and we felt more sure of ourselves. Everyone is different so ofc not everyone will feel better mid twenties but I’ve heard outside of the people I know that it’s quite common.