i think unfortunately a lot of people are transitioning to better fit their personality to gendered stereotypes, but i also think that GID is a real thing separate from that. GID to me seems like a sort of “my brain is expecting a different body than whats there”, based on reports ive seen of trans guys, for example, instinctively standing up to pee but forgetitng they dont have the biology to do that

i feel like a lot of the ideas of womanhood were told were supposed to relate to— femininity, motherhood, etc— arent actually womanhood at all. womanhood is just our lived female lives, but we all feel so disconnected from “womanhood” because were told its a bunch of other stuff. if that makes ssense

yeah same, i dont feel like i fit in with either. what first got me to try on labels was that isolation, and i convinced myself to go further because i never really did like my body, my hips, my ability to get pregnant, or my breasts. i do have past issues with an ED tho, and frankly im not gonna miss my breasts even if i do desist because those thigns were sensory nightmares. but ig being trans shouldnt be about fitting into a group, but how you feel about your body via dysphoria

well i cant make the decision for you, but im also eager to have peopel avoid the mistakes i did. for me, transitioning made my body image worse. because i was indulging this idea that my body is wrong and needed to be changed, so that feeling kept growing. it wanted more and more changes and there was never a stopping point. something else i learnt is that its not a non-woman experience to be disconnected from womanhood. the womanhood we try to relate to isnt womanhood at all, its just the societal pressure people place on women. when i was younger i thought that all the things that women did were all things they wanted to do (simply put at least). id honestly try to get therapy for your trauma because that can absolutely make you feel displaced from your body. and for peopel that struggle with emotional things, living as a man reduces some of the bs that comes from living with misogyny. like a way to avoid further emotional pain when youve already dealt with a lot of trauma. best of luck 💜

its never too late to go for what you want. dont let yourself get stuck in a sunk-cost fallacy thing. yeah youll look different from other guys if you do go through with it, but there shouldnt be a standard look for any gender anyway. peoples bodies are what they are, and yours just carries a lot of gender-involved trauma. you can be male and wear whatever too. you can be male and not want body hair. honestly it might be relieving to stop trying to be a certain gender, ie look a certain way, and let yourself just be. not trying to be a certain set of physical traits in order to be male.if you choose detransition, just take the hormones and let yourself exist as you are otherwise. remember to do whatever youre doing for you not because itll be “easier”

honestly i doubt thatll happen for me. the skin is really thin and didnt even have fat there before top surgery (i had droopy and heavy breasts, so it was thin and stretched nearer to my ribcage, and thats the material thats leftover now). and fat hasnt returned there in even a male pattern in the 2 years since i had it done 😔

ive heard of autigender and i dont really like it. it implies that the autistic experience of a gender can be inherently different from an allistic one, as if just because you experience womanhood or manhood through an autistic lens, its a different thing entirely. its not really a good precedent to set for autistic people. plus ive only ever really seen it by people who appear to “roleplay” autism, like over-acting the symptoms n stuff. i didnt know it was common for autistic people to have confusing relationships with their bodies tho, thats interesting. thanks for sharing :)

hoenstly the idea of being a woman again was upsetting to me too. but i couldnt be trans anymore. it was exhausting. dysphoria wanted to keep eating at my body. first it was jsut hormones and binding, then top surgery, then it wanted a hysterectomy and bottom surgery and i felt like it would never stop. id never be enough of a man. i could see the path and it was gonna eat my entire life so i had to stop. getting used to being a woman again brought up some traumas but ive found a community of women to relate to and who accept me and i feel a lot better already. i regretted going that far with it all. esp knowing the place of dislike it all came from. my body didnt needed to change. like the rest of me, it just needed love. i regret doing that to become comfortable with my gender nonconformity. but im feeling better knowing that a lot of the ways i felt excluded from womanhood werent real definitions of womanhood, and that other women shared my averse childhood experiences related to my sex.

very interesting comment about the nature of being gnc and autistic. because in order to mask we conform, but when youre burnt out of that, its possible to go for an extreme thatll protect your energy levels. im not sure what you mean by the lack sociosexual experience, though. like how would that cause autogyn/androphilia or autohomoeroticism? because the attraction has no where else to attach so it develops about the self?