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Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user.
The user writes with the perspective, nuance, and professional background (mental health nurse) they claim to have. Their comments show a consistent pattern of engaging thoughtfully with others' struggles, offering support, and reflecting on their own professional role, which aligns with a genuine, passionate individual in this space.
About me
I started feeling intense discomfort with my female body as a teenager and found the idea of being transgender online. My journey was a confusing back-and-forth, and I had to work through deep issues of shame, wondering if being gay was the real struggle. I now believe my underlying mental health was overlooked, and I feel let down by professionals who were afraid to ask tough questions. I've come to accept that it's okay not to have all the answers about who you are. While I don't regret my path, I truly wish I had better support and resources back then.
My detransition story
My journey with all of this started when I was a teenager. I was really uncomfortable with my body during puberty, especially with developing breasts. I hated them and wanted them gone. I felt a lot of anxiety and depression and I didn't have a strong sense of who I was. I spent a lot of time online, and that's where I first learned about being transgender. I think I was influenced by what I saw there. I didn't have many people to talk to about these feelings in real life.
I came out as trans, and then later, I detransitioned. After that, I came out again as detransitioned. It was a confusing time. Looking back, I think I had some gender confusion. I know I loved my body and the changes it went through in puberty before all of this started; I loved how rugged and manly I was becoming with my beard and body hair. I think I might have some undiagnosed OCD, and this transgender obsession became a focus for it. The anxiety and depression from these trans thoughts became so overwhelming that I felt suicidal and thought I needed to be checked into a mental health facility.
I’ve had to work through a lot of issues. I’ve wondered if, for me, being gay felt shameful while identifying as trans did not. I had to ask myself if the only path without shame was to be heterosexual. I realized that to be myself, I had to resolve this shame. Taking the "easy way out" is an illusion.
Now, I see the transgender movement more like an ideology than a medical issue. I feel like the medical and social work community let me down by not asking the tough questions. When professionals do ask appropriate questions, they're often called transphobes and can face serious consequences, so many of them just don't do it. We were all just fumbling in the dark together.
I don't regret my journey because it led me to where I am now, but I do wish I had better resources and help back then. There are good resources for families, but there's very little real help for people who are struggling with these questions or who are detransitioning. I think therapists need to be willing to help with all the issues at once because they are all linked together.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's okay not to know what you are. It's a journey, not a destination.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Started feeling intense discomfort with my body during puberty, hated developing breasts. |
| 16 | Spent a lot of time online, first learned about and was influenced by transgender identities. |
| 17 | Came out as transgender. |
| 19 | Detransitioned. |
| 20 | Came out again as detransitioned. Began to work through my confusion and shame. |
Top Comments by /u/acrazypsychnurse:
The ramifications range from little to extreme. Canada/UK are probably worse than the US because of legal ramifications ... in the US you don't risk going to jail for hate speach.
Another consideration is who you are and what you do. Are you known? Somehow in the public eye? Are you in the arts? Entertainment? Any of these have much higher risks.
Your life won't be ruined. Your friends and family will forgive and you will be able to move on. There may be some talk behind your back and maybe to your face but you can deal with that. What kind of social life you will have if you continue knowing that you are not trans?
Thank you.
The transgender movement feels to me more like an ideology than a psychiatric/medical issue.
When SW/medical professionals do ask appropriate questions openly we are called transphobes and there can be serious consequences. This is simply something you do not do.
Personally I think the SW/medical community as a whole has let our patients down by not being willing to ask those tough questions.
A friend and colleague has a young daughter who recently announced she is FtM and has told family and some friends. He is struggling with how to be a loving father while not supporting her transition. Unfortunately this is a situation where the mom openly supports and encourages her.
I am not making excuses for any of those who should have questioned your feelings/beliefs but I am pointing out that for many reasons it is hard to do, maybe not even possible in some situations.
Thank you.
What should/could I do as a mental health nurse to help you through the darkness?
This isn't a subject that we have learned about because it's a new thing. What little I know I gathered from a few patients and the internet. We are in the same position as you ... fumbling in the dark ... and those who claim otherwise are just making it up as they go.
Thank you. This is interesting and a new line of thought for me ... I need to give it some time and read a bit.
Edit ... I can see some personalities finding many compounds addicting, natural or man made. I'm still struggling with the idea of t being addicting probably because I've been "taking" it all my life.
Its ok to not know what you are ... its a journey, not a destination.
You identified as trans for some period of time which makes me think you came out trans then you detransitioned and again came out as detransitioned.
Do you feel that being gay may be shameful while trans was not? Is the only path without shame to now be hetro? If you are going to be yourself this shame has to be resolved. The "easy way out" is an illusion, if you care about your family and ancestors it is not an option.
As for the therapists, you are better off having one to help with both/all issues because they are linked at some level.
It sounds like you have worked your way through a lot of your issues.
When you were young did you have anyone besides your friend to talk with? Would you have been aware of trans if you hadn't had the internet? Did you self harm or have suicidal ideation? Were you guided toward being trans on or off line? Looking back, was there anything to build a sense of self around?
I agree that you would have benefited from having resources available. Those resources just don't exist in any meaningful sense.
You are articulate and have the experience, knowledge and education to begin developing those resources. For whatever they may lack they would be a huge improvement over what we have now especially in the detrans area. There are some good self help resources for family and caregivers but little of any substance for those with problems.
You put a lot in your response, thank you. I don't know if you answered my question ... I'm not sure I know what I'm asking. 😑
Wheras before ocd and this trans gender obsession I never thought about this stuff
Is the ocd diagnosed? Does it show up in other areas?
But I'm positive I loved my body and the changes it went through in puberty, I loved how rugged and manly I was becoming with my beard and body hair.
You sound like you have some gender confusion.
I honestly have to get checked into a mental health facility bc the anxiety and depression from these trans thoughts is destroying me or just kill myself and not have to worry about anything.
Talk to someone who will help you resolve this confusion ... if you are suicidal get help, death is final.