This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "acupofmorningcoffee" appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The comments show:
- Personal, nuanced experiences: They share specific, non-formulaic details about their detransition (e.g., stopping testosterone, being from Sweden, having top surgery).
- Consistent but evolving perspective: Their view is consistent—advocating for the sub as a support space over an ideological battleground—but they also describe their personal journey of realization.
- Emotional complexity: They express a range of genuine emotions like frustration, fear, regret, and hope, which align with the expected passion of someone who has experienced harm.
- Engagement in discussion: They engage in multi-comment debates, clarifying their points in a way that reflects real-time thought, not scripted responses.
About me
I started identifying as a man at 19 and lived that way for four years, fully passing and on testosterone. I now realize my transition was an attempt to escape deep unhappiness and mental health struggles that hormones didn't fix. About a year ago, I had a huge realization that I could have been happy as a woman if I had addressed my real issues, so I stopped taking hormones. Now, at 24, I'm detransitioning and the discomfort I felt about being a woman has faded, and I just feel like myself. I don't regret my journey, but I've learned that medical steps aren't always the answer, and my detransition is just my personal path, not a political statement.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and I’m still figuring things out. I was born female and I started identifying as a man when I was around 19. I lived as a man for about four years, and I was on testosterone for most of that time. I was fully passing, and everyone around me was supportive. I stopped hormones about a year ago, and now I’m detransitioning.
Looking back, I think a lot of my desire to transition came from a place of deep unhappiness. I had really low self-esteem and I was struggling with depression and anxiety. I thought that becoming a man was the answer, that it would fix everything wrong with me. I believed that if I just took testosterone and had top surgery, I would finally be happy and comfortable in my own skin. I never got top surgery, but I was on the waiting list for it.
The truth is, starting testosterone didn’t really change my emotional state much. I wasn’t very emotionally affected by it, which is maybe a sign that it wasn’t addressing the real issues. I just felt like I was going through the motions. The big turning point for me was a realization I had about a year ago. I suddenly understood that I probably could have been just as happy if I had never transitioned, if I had just had the right tools to deal with my mental health from the beginning. That was a huge moment for me. It made me question the whole foundation of my transition. If I could be happy as a woman, then what was I even doing?
Since I started detransitioning, my feelings about gender have completely changed. The discomfort I used to feel about being a woman has just… faded away. Gender has lost its significance to me. I don’t feel a strong connection to being a man or a woman anymore. I just feel like myself. I’ve stopped taking testosterone, I’m growing my hair out, and I’m trying to present in a more androgynous way. What makes me feel like myself now isn't hormones or a specific label, it's experimenting with my clothing and expression.
I don’t have any regrets about my transition, which might surprise some people. I don’t feel like I mutilated my body or that I was delusional. It was a part of my journey, and I learned a lot about myself through it. But I also don’t think that medical transition is the only or always the right answer for gender dysphoria. I think we need to be able to question that openly. For me, it wasn’t the cure I thought it would be.
Being in detransition spaces has been tricky. This is supposed to be a place for support, but sometimes it feels like it gets taken over by bigger ideological arguments about trans people in general. I just want support for my own personal experience. I don’t want to be part of a movement against trans people. My detransition isn't a political statement; it's just me trying to be myself. I got scared to detransition for a while because I was worried about being associated with some of the anti-trans rhetoric I saw online. It delayed my decision.
I’ve been lucky to have a good experience with the healthcare system where I live in Sweden. When I told my doctors I was stopping hormones, they were supportive. They had conversations with me about my experience and what they could have done differently. That was really helpful.
My main advice to anyone questioning is to really sit with yourself. Your identity is your own journey. Don't feel like you have to rush into medical changes. I wish someone had told me that just using different pronouns or dressing differently was a valid option, that I didn't have to jump straight to hormones to be taken seriously. It’s okay to just be yourself, whatever that looks like.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19 | Started identifying as a man and socially transitioning. |
| 20 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 23 | Realized I could have been happy without transitioning. Stopped testosterone. Began my detransition. |
| 24 (now) | Currently living as a detransitioned female, exploring an androgynous expression. |
Top Comments by /u/acupofmorningcoffee:
Honestly shit like this makes me feel even worse about my detransition. There’s some huge generalizations that doesn’t apply to everyone, like losing friends after detransitioning, or all trans people hating detransitioners, when in reality many acknowledge that supporting detransitioners is absolutely necessary. I’m not saying we don’t have the right to be critical and express frustrations, but this is not a war on trans people or trans ideology, it’s a support sub. My detransitioning experiences are not a part of a larger movement, just like my transition wasn’t a part of a larger movement, I’m just trying to be myself.
As a person who’s currently fully passing as a man (I’m born female), with supportive people all around me, I feel you. What’s been helping my is to try and stop thinking about where I wish I was and instead handling it day by day. There’s so much regret to indulge in, and while it’s alright to grieve, it’s not really helpful. Just take it slow and work out what feels good for you in the moment, people around you will likely support you, and you really don’t have to tell them everything at once.
Finding a better therapist might also be a good idea
You got this 💖💖
If using she/her pronouns and a chosen name makes you happier, then do so!!! In all honesty, I wish someone would’ve told me that 4 years ago when I started believing HRT was what I needed to be happy. I was so sure simply using different pronouns or being androgynous or experimenting with clothing and expression would just make me weird, when that’s exactly what I found makes me feel like myself.
But can’t people speak about their own experiences of gender without giving takes on the whole concept of transness? I get that many develop new ideas of gender, but places like twitter and tumblr offer much better room for people to post such takes without risking a support space for thousands of people
It can also feel very alienating for detrans people who don’t agree with those takes, shifting the focus from providing support for those who need it to a larger ideological discussion about trans identities. And I feel you, only recently started my detransition and finding resources has been very difficult :(
I just realized one day that I probably could have been equally happy having not transitioned, given the right tools for dealing with my mental health. This realization made me reconsider my need to live as a man, and I stopped taking HRT, started growing out my hair, and generally tried to appear more androgynous.
I took this decision on my own, but quickly talked about it with the people around me (mostly as to not feel so alone in what I was going through). Stopping testosterone treatment is, however, a lot less drastic then starting it, so sorry if it’s not super helpful. But I would definitely recommend talking to your boyfriend beforehand if you trust his input :-)
Sweden! Basically all trans related care is carried out through specific institutions which you continue to have regular checkups with after stating any treatment. I decided to contact them when I stopped taking HRT, and they made sure to have conversations with me about my experiences, what they could have done differently and what they could do to aid me.
I’m one month off right now and aside from being a bit tired the week after (and before) my next shot was due I’ve had no real negative effects so far. Like you said, it’s a long lasting drug so it’s not the same as going cold turkey on the biweekly shots, and I’m guessing mood swings and such are highly individual. Personally, I wasn’t very emotionally affected by starting testosterone, so I kinda doubt I’m going to be very emotionally affected by quitting it. Good luck regardless!
I think it very much depends on what circles you find yourself in on those sites, but while it opens up for more harassment, you’re unlikely to get banned for what you post. There are definitely detrans spaces on twitter as well! (though of course not as large)
This is not something you should have to handle on your own. If therapy is out of the picture, do you have any friends you can trust who you can talk about this to? I know it seems world shattering and it’s okay to grieve what you lost, but know you definitely can and will recover from this, but it’s so so much easier if you have some support along the way. It will be okay, just take a moment to breathe and figure out what you can and need to do for yourself.