This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
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- Personal, detailed experience: The user shares a specific, nuanced, and medically detailed account of their own transition, detransition, and retransition, including drug names, dosages, timelines, and physical/emotional effects.
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The account exhibits the behavior of a real, knowledgeable person who is deeply involved in the subject matter.
About me
I knew from a very young age that I was a girl, and I started hormones at 19 to finally feel comfortable in my body. The pressure from my family became too much, so I stopped my medication, which was an awful experience that brought my dysphoria back with a vengeance. I realized I couldn't live that way, so I went back on a lower dose of HRT and feel much more peaceful now. This whole journey of stopping and starting gave me a lot of perspective and immense empathy for everyone on different paths. I don't have any regrets because going off my medication only proved how much I need it to feel like myself.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated. I first knew something was different when I was very young. All my role models were women, I wanted to be a girl, and all my friends were girls. I hated that my body was different from theirs. These feelings of dysphoria were there for at least a decade before I finally came out as a trans woman at age 19.
My mother treated it like a phase, which was really hard. About six months after coming out, I started hormone replacement therapy (HRT). I was on it for almost three years straight. The medication made me feel so much better; I felt more comfortable in my body and my self-confidence improved. But my relationship with my parents and my brother suffered badly because of it. I was still financially dependent on them, and the pressure became too much. I felt I had no choice, so I stopped my HRT.
Stopping was awful. For the nine months I was off it, I experienced what I imagine many detransitioners go through. The dysphoria came rushing back and became unbearable, to the point it was affecting my daily life. My body went through a lot of difficult changes as my natural testosterone came back. I had an insatiable libido, terrible hot flashes, headaches, and I was exhausted all the time. My skin became really oily and my body odor turned sweaty and musky again, which I hated.
I realized I couldn't live like that. The dysphoria was too powerful. So, four months ago, I went to a doctor and asked to go back on a lower dose of HRT. I'm now on a different medication, and I feel much more peaceful and calm. My skin is soft and smooth again, and my body odor is feminine. My dysphoria has reduced, though my feelings of discomfort about my genitals have actually gotten worse.
This whole experience has given me a lot of perspective. I still consider myself a trans woman, but having stopped and started again, I feel like I can understand both sides. I have immense sympathy and empathy for people who detransition because I lived that awful feeling of realizing that going back to how I was born wasn't right for me. I also understand the trans people who know transition is what they need. I just wish my parents had been able to accept me from the start.
I don't have any regrets about transitioning. For me, it was necessary. Going off HRT only proved to me how much I need it to function and feel okay in my own skin.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19 | Came out as a trans woman. |
| 19 | Began MtF HRT (Cyproterone Acetate and Progynova). |
| 22 | Stopped HRT due to family pressure. |
| 23 | Restarted a lower dose of MtF HRT (Evra) due to unbearable dysphoria. |
Top Comments by /u/addictedtodiscounts:
I still consider myself a trans woman but I detransitioned hormonally for a period of 9 months after being on HRT for 3 years. Now I'm back on HRT for 4 months already.
So here's my story : I came out at 19 and my mother treated it like a phase while in my case the signs had already been there for at least a decade prior to my coming out. Since very early in childhood the signs of dysphoria were present in me. My role models were women, I wanted to be a girl, my friends were girls and I hated my body being different from theirs. Anyway, I came out at 19 and 6 months later I began HRT. I took MtF HRT ( Cyproterone Acetate, 50 mg daily and Progynova 4 mg daily) for almost 3 years non stop. My relationship with my parents and brother suffered a lot under it and it became more and more difficult to live a normal life at home. So under pressure of my parents I stopped HRT. I didn't want to because I felt very comfortable with the effects HRT had on my body and I felt more self confident and such but as I was financially dependent on my parents I decided to stop HRT for undetermined time. I focused on my studies and I saw a GP 4 months ago because dysphoria was getting worse again and becoming unbearable and influencing my functioning. So I asked her to put me on a lower dose of HRT and she did. I'm now on Evra which is generally prescribed as a birth control method for cis women but which works on MtFs too as ethinylestradiol, the main ingredient, is very powerful. I feel much more peaceful again and calmer and my dysphoria has reduced again. Although my genital dysphoria has become uncontrollable and I'm afraid it will only get worse.
I think that in my case going off HRT made me experience the dysphoria that a detransitioned trans person (who identifies as their natal sex) feels when they realise transitioning wasn't what they needed. That feeling is awful and I would never wish that on anyone. So it brought me an even bigger sympathy and empathy for detransitioners. I wish my parents would just have been able to accept me.
It's a weird experience because now I feel like I can look at both sides. I can understand where detransitioners come from but I can also understand where trans people who remain transitioned come from. Because I can reflect my own feelings from both sides.
Not sure if this was any insightful or helpful. I hope you get to have valuable opinions here and I want to emphasize that this place is an amazing collection of resources where things can be discussed without censoring, which I love.
Kind regards.
I think there are two sides of the coin here. In case of MtF, when taking them after puberty, HRT has effects that are reversible even after years when no surgeries have taken place. I have seen MtFs detransition after 10 years on HRT and look like normal dudes after a couple years. Heyer was on HRT for 8 years before he detransitioned. He had SRS and FFS. He mostly looks like a normal man now 30 years detransitioned.
In case of FtM it's much harder. Even a year of T can wreck you enough to make it difficult to return to your pre transition self.
The trans community should be more honest about the differences in potency between both groups on HRT. E for a trans woman has much less potency than T for a trans man.
When I was off HRT for a period of 9 months after having been on it for almost 3 years (I'm now back on HRT), I felt really horny from the returning testosterone. An insatiable libido. I also felt lots of hot flashes, headaches and fatigue. Terrible fatigue. I also felt my skin being super prone to the returning testosterone because the receptors were awoken again after having slept for nearly 3 years. So even though my returning T was super low my receptors were extra sensitive to what little testosterone my body made and that severely fucked with my skin. My skin became a lot oilier and my body smell was horrible in that period. Sweaty and musky again.
Now I'm 4 months on MtF HRT again and my skin is back to a soft, light, smooth feminine structure and body odor is feminine again. Libido is low again.
So weird how hormonal Fluctuations can cause major changes like that in a matter of days / weeks.
5 percent of post-transition trans people commit suicide. That's the real percentage, not the often mentioned 41 percent. The 41 percent was a survey where they asked trans people if they have ever had suicidal thoughts. Both before and after transition that is. It doesn't mean people who pursued with committing suicide. Just having thought about it. So on one hand, many trans people have thought about suicide in their life once (41 percent did think about it) but '' only '' 5 percent goes through with it after a successful transition took place. 5 percent of completed suicides is a lot but much less than what people generally believe. The LGB community has on average the same percentage of completed suicides and that is without ever having transitioned.
Your partner's breast tissue will not disappear on T but his breasts may become less noticeable with time and with male levels of T in his body. He will be forever on testosterone therapy. He should have some sex hormones in his body at this point. His adrenals produce minor amounts of testosterone still, even after sex reassignment surgery. His hormones shouldn't be zero. He can expect to have a T count of about 3 nmol/L after a gender reassignment surgery with no exogenous hormones taken. 3 nmol/L is too low to keep his bones healthy so he should indeed go on testosterone therapy. The ideal goal with testosterone therapy is to raise his testosterone to above 10 nmol/L. That's a healthy range for a male.
Without exogenous sex hormones taken, his bones will go brittle over time and might cause fractures (osteoporosis). Low sex hormones also leave people prone to depression.
As he's still so young he definitely should be on some form of artificial HRT for at least the next coming thirty years. He's too young to be without sex hormones.
Has he seen any remasculinization in his appearence since he went off Estradiol?
Is he planning mastectomy surgery (chest surgery to get rid of the breasts)?
The option to get back fully working male genitalia unfortunately does not exist at this point. He will be better off leaving the neovagina as it is. Is he still dilating the neovagina if I may be so curious or has he let the depth shrink naturally?
How long is he off Estradiol now already?
Also, November is still a long while off. While it's not testosterone, he can get DHEA over the counter. DHEA is a precursor to testosterone and is available over the counter. You don't need a prescription for it. Maybe he can order some DHEA and start with that to have some sex hormones in his body until he can see an endocrinologist for testosterone. DHEA's safe and typical starting dose is 25 mg daily. Pipingrock.com sells DHEA over the counter for cheap and delivers to people's doorstep by airmail.