This story is from the comments by /u/againstallodds02 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "againstallodds02" appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a fake persona.
The user's story is highly detailed, internally consistent over a year of posting, and reflects the complex, nuanced, and often contradictory feelings common among detransitioners. The narrative includes deeply personal subjects like faith, trauma, relationships, and medical history that are difficult to fabricate convincingly. The user also demonstrates self-reflection and engages with others' posts in a thoughtful, empathetic manner, which is not typical of inauthentic accounts.
About me
I was born male and my difficult childhood made me feel I needed to transition to escape my trauma. I lived as a woman for several years, which brought me both happiness and the heavy burden of living in stealth. Finding faith with my partner gave me a new strength and perspective, leading me to detransition socially at 27. I don't regret my past, but I see that medical transition couldn't solve my deeper need for self-acceptance. Now, I live as a man but embrace my sensitivity, finding balance through my faith and by just being my authentic self.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated. I was born male, but from a very young age, I felt different. I was a sensitive child who liked things that were considered feminine, like Care Bears and My Little Pony. My father was an abusive alcoholic and he would ridicule me for not being masculine enough. My mother wasn't really around, so I didn't have much support. I grew up in a secular, new-age household, so religion wasn't a part of my life back then.
I struggled with severe depression and suicidal thoughts for years, and I now believe a lot of that, and my gender dysphoria, came from the trauma of my childhood home. I watched my father beat my mother, and I think I developed dysphoria as a coping mechanism to escape that reality. I also have ASD and ADHD, which I think made it harder for me to naturally understand social rules about gender. I learned what was expected of me by being punished when I strayed from it.
I believed I was trans from a young age, but my parents weren't supportive, so I didn't start my transition until I was 20. I began taking estrogen and Spiro. At 22, I had gender reassignment surgery. I went "stealth" immediately after, meaning I lived fully as a woman and no one in my new life knew I was born male. I had good jobs and for a while, I was happy with many aspects of my life. I really miss the emotional friendships I had with other women during that time; it's something that's very hard to find as a man.
But living stealth took a toll on me. I was constantly paranoid that someone would find out my past. Hiding such a big part of my life made me feel inauthentic and it was emotionally taxing. When I was 27, my life took a big turn. My partner, who has been with me since I was 19—before, during, and after transition—and I found faith in Jesus Christ. We became Christians together. This gave me a new perspective. I didn't see transition as wrong, but it became less important to me than repairing my relationships and connecting with God. Our faith gave me a strength that didn't come from just me, and it felt like a third option beyond just battling dysphoria and depression.
So, at 27, I decided to detransition. I've been living socially as a man again for the past 11 years. I don't actually regret transitioning. I was in such a dark place before that I'm not sure I'd even be alive if I hadn't done it. It was what I needed at the time. But I also see that medical transition is over-sold and under-delivers. It doesn't make you the other gender; it creates a different reality with its own set of challenges. I wanted to be a mother, and that's just not possible, and transition couldn't fix that.
Since detransitioning, I haven't taken any hormones—no testosterone or estrogen—for over ten years. This has been hard on my body in some ways; my weight is hard to manage and I recently found out I have some bone density loss, so I'm considering a low dose of estrogen just for health reasons. I can't imagine taking testosterone because it was so destructive to my mental health during my first puberty. My dysphoria is higher now than when I lived as a woman, but my faith helps me cope with the feeling of being in the wrong body.
My thoughts on gender now are that I try to just be me. I live as a man socially and use he/him pronouns, but internally I feel more in-between. I'm trying to be more authentic, focusing on my emotional life and how I relate to people, and accepting myself as a gender non-conforming male. I tried to ignore gender completely after detransitioning, but that led to a depersonalized depression. The goal for me now is to find a balance, to be myself without having to fit into a strict box.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood | Struggled with feeling different, liked feminine things, experienced abuse and trauma at home. |
| 20 | Started medical transition (estrogen and Spiro). |
| 22 | Had gender reassignment surgery. |
| 27 | Detransitioned socially and began living as a man again. Found faith with my partner. |
| 37 (Present) | Have not taken any hormones for 10 years. Living as a gender non-conforming male, supported by faith and my long-term partner. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/againstallodds02:
I am really sorry that this happened to you.
Since it sounded like your father had doubts, do you think that he might be able to help you? It sounds like you might need to try to get away from your mother.
Testosterone won't give you height, but it is very strong. When your body starts to produce it by itself, you will get a deeper voice and fat will redistribute.
It sounds like you have a supportive partner as I did throughout the years that I identified as female. I wouldn't recommend the surgery unless the dysphoria is so bad that you really can't go on in life which doesn't sound like that's the case for you.
Like others have said, bad results can be truly awful, but even if you have a good result it is not even close to the real thing.
Since you're having doubts, you should probably cancel it for now. You can't undo the surgery.
I hear from your tone that you are really distressed, but of course you can go back.
You went through a mostly male puberty, so your body should be able to produce testosterone normally if you stop taking the blockers and estrogen.
Obviously, if you had laser or anything, the hair won't come back.
I hope you find some peace with yourself.
You probably realise this, but NTs learn the social constructs of gender naturally. From my experience, I learnt about gender by being ridiculed for liking things like Care Bears and My Little Pony as a young child and later not being into action movies and preferring romance and drama. I also got really into the girl power stuff of the 90s: Lilith fair and other things.
My mother said at the time I was just a very sensitive child.
Considering that I still have gender dysphoria, but transition wasn't right for me, I don't know what could have happened differently.
Medical transition is very hard and I wouldn't recommend it, unless it is something that you feel the only two options are transition and suicide. You don't seem to be coming from this place mentally. Even if you were (like many of us here), you might still detransition because the path is no longer right for you, there's no way to predict that.
Are there other nonmedical ways you think you could explore femininity?
Aside: I am pretty much textbook transgender when it comes to 'signs' when I was younger, but with me being ASD/ADHD my social skills aren't as good as others. I have really just come to realise that I like what I like. Where most others just follow along with what they see other people do.
Well, body hair varies widely from guy to guy. I go to a MMA gym and there is a super slender guy there about your height with little body hair who can submit guys who are much bigger.
Even if your body is on the low end of testosterone, it's better to have a real, functional endocrine system.
My husband is a post op MtF detrans so it's definitely possible. He lived as a woman for 5 years and he's been living as a man again for 11.
He transitioned quite young, at 20, before that he struggled with severe depression, suicidal thoughts and gender dysphoria for many years. He grew up in an abusive and neglectful home so his parents didn't really care when he reached out to them about his mental health and gender struggles as a teen. He thinks his family situation is a big reason why he transitioned in the first place.
I wish you luck in whatever path you choose.
If you feel a deep need to have the whole experience as the other gender, then that will be a problem as HRT and surgeries don't really get you that close. Really spend time parsing your emotions.
Neither is easy:
- accepting that it is really not technically possible to be the other gender right now
- accepting that transitioning to a state where you will never be pregnant or a mother and have to disclose to every partner that you get close to and the rejection that entails
Bot require a lot of therapy and soul searching, but the latter option also has a lot of medical intervention.
I don't do the beer thing with guys as I really don't get on that well with most men. I do miss having female friends to just go out with. I think that was probably the best aspect of transition and some of my best memories. It is really messed up that as a guy you can't express yourself emotionally.
I also agree that both genders have challenges.
I guess that I have noticed that when people are angry at something, they aren't trying to form a coherent argument, but rather vent emotional distress.
For me personally, I would rather hear a wide range of views and decide for myself than to just sit in an echo chamber. This is something that people don't seem to be able to do right now, sadly. Most people only want to be surrounded by people who tell them what they want to hear.