This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's comments are highly consistent, displaying a deep, personal, and nuanced engagement with the subject of detransition. They use personal anecdotes ("Desisted male here"), develop a unique philosophical argument about gender as a performative role, and consistently apply a specific analogy (comparing gender ideology to religion/cults) across multiple posts. This demonstrates a sustained, complex thought process characteristic of a real person with strong, passionate beliefs. The tone is consistent with a desister who is angry and critical of gender ideology, which aligns with the expected perspective for that community.
About me
I started transitioning because I felt like an undesirable man and believed becoming a woman would fix my low self-esteem. I got completely swept up in the ideology, taking hormones and having surgery, thinking each step would finally make me happy. After achieving my goal, it all felt empty and the illusion shattered. I now see my dysphoria was worsened by buying into that belief system. I deeply regret the permanent changes and am now trying to heal from the consequences.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started with a deep discomfort, but looking back, I don't think it was ever really about being born in the wrong body. I think I saw being a woman as a way to escape from being an undesirable man. I had really low self-esteem and saw my male body as gross and gritty. Women were portrayed as beautiful and desirable, and I felt a kind of envy. I wanted to be the center of attention, to be seen as pretty.
I started to believe that transitioning was the answer. The process itself felt a lot like joining a religion. There was this huge sense of euphoria and self-discovery, like I was finally finding my "true self." But now I see that it was selling me a solution to a problem that it had created. It fed me a new "map of reality" and I internalized it completely. I changed my name and started using all the specific language. Any doubt I had was shut down; I was taught that negative thoughts were just internalized transphobia. It was a classic case of thought control, like what you see in cults.
I took hormones and eventually got top surgery. I kept telling myself that the next step would finally make me happy, that one more procedure would get rid the dysphoria for good. But after I reached what I thought was the goal—living as a woman—it felt like nothing. It was empty. The illusion shattered, and it felt creepy, like I had woken up from a dream. It was similar to how I imagine it feels to grow up deeply religious and then realize you no longer believe in God. The whole framework you built your life on just collapses.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's not an innate, internal feeling. For me, gender is a role, like a character you practice playing. The more you act it out, the more confident you become in it. But that also means it's fragile. If you start to question it, the whole thing can fall apart because it wasn't based on anything solid to begin with. I think my dysphoria was a kind of nocebo effect, worsened by buying into the ideology.
I absolutely have regrets about transitioning. I sacrificed a lot—parts of my body, my fertility—chasing a happiness that was never really there. It was like using essential oils for a serious illness; people swear by them, but it's just a placebo. Once I stopped believing I was trans, the power of the dysphoria lessened. I feel like I was influenced by online spaces when I was too young to know better, and I'm now dealing with the permanent consequences.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19 | Began to question my gender, influenced by online communities and a desire to escape my male identity. |
| 20 | Started socially transitioning, adopting a new name and pronouns. Began hormone therapy (estrogen). |
| 23 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 26 | Realized the "goal" of living as a woman felt empty and began to seriously question my transition. |
| 27 | Stopped hormone therapy and began the process of detransitioning. |
Top Comments by /u/agenderbannana:
Like you have an idea of what it’s like to be a girl in your head, but once you reach it it’s basically nothing interesting and you sacrificed everything to get there.
During the transition process you keep telling yourself it’s going to improve this or that, and just one more surgery and you will be happy and get rid of your dysphoria.
I’m sorry you are going through this, and yeah it kinda feels like you just woke up in a world that doesn’t respect you and thinks of you as an enemy.
The evidence in favor of affirmative care is very shallow and is based on esteem theory. A theory that failed to replicate during the replication crisis.
I cope with it in the same way I cope with everything else. I make memes and post it to r/scrambled_eggs_irl.
Consider the following example .
You conduct a research study on Jehovah’s Witness that said that going to Jehovah’s Witnesses masses makes them happier. Does that mean that the Jehovah’s Witnesses are truly children of Jehovah and the end is coming soon? Of course not, the Church feeds into the delusion, and thus making them seem happier.
Gender Transition is a lot like a religious experience in which you are seeking out and finding your “true self”. It comes with a large amount of euphoria and self discovery that can give a person a sense of happiness, but only because it’s selling you a solution to a problem that it itself created.
In my opinion the “detrans” rate doesn’t mean anything.
It’s like saying “Jehovah’s Witnesses have a .3% deconverion rate.” It doesn’t mean those people are happy living as Jehovah’s Witnesses it just means they are trapped in a Jehovah’s Witness mindset and values.
Secondary outcome: detransitioning Twenty-one sets of notes out of the 175 were flagged as potential cases of detransitioning for consensus discussion. Three cases were excluded following the consensus discussion; one postponed both medical and social transition until they had more social support, and two discontinued hormones but did not revert to their original gender role. Twelve cases (12/175, 6.9%) were agreed by all authors to meet the case definition for detransitioning. Regret was specifically documented in two cases. Eight were natal males (seven male to female, one male to non-binary); all had accessed oestradiol and one had accessed GRS. Four were natal females (three female to male, one female to non-binary); all had accessed testosterone and chest surgery during this episode of care, none had accessed GRS. Nine of the twelve had evidence of discontinuing hormones, two had no information documented about hormones and one continued with hormones. Four of these 12 were re-referred into the service during the period of data collection since de-transitioning. Six cases did not strictly meet the criteria for detransitioning but showed some overlap of experience. One of these six has been re-referred. Four natal males (three male to female, one male to non-binary) had made only partial role transitions so did not meet the case definition; they inconsistently used hormonal interventions and expressed uncertainty about their gender and/or transitioning. Two natal females (one female to male, one female to non-binary) expressed gender identity confusion, one used testosterone inconsistently and both cancelled chest surgery; neither, however, clearly reverted back to their original gender role and therefore did not meet the case definition.
From a biology perspective males are more expendable evolutionary speaking.
The reason for this is that you can lose half the males in a city in a war, but the city will recover to the same population in a generation or two.
If you lose half the population of females you have crippled the city’s population for generations.
We’ve done that already,
The issue is once you see through the illusion it’s kinda ruined. it gets very creepy.
Its kinda like if you grow up Christian and realize that the church is wrong about the existence of god. Hard to take anything seriously anymore.
Religion isn’t a choice for many people. It’s part of your identity that is brainwashed into you by your culture and upbringing.
For example you can’t just decide not to believe in god if you actually believe in god. Here is an example of the brainwashing that goes on in Jehovah’s wittiness
Transition can help people in the same way people say essential oils help them. Many people swear up and down that the essential oils saved their life or something, but it’s 100% placebo. The essential oils do nothing, but have a high approval rate because it “helps” people.
Things like this are strictly based in your belief in those things. If you stop believing you are trans then your dysphoria will lessen.
Desisted male here.
We really do need a male only sub but here’s my take away.
The male body has been portrayed as the “gross and gritty.” Body. Woman are portrayed beautiful and desirable. Men who feel internally that they are ugly and undesirable may look at woman with envy because they want to be the center of attention and go be pretty.