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Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user provides a highly detailed, nuanced, and internally consistent personal narrative about their transition, detransition, and autism diagnosis over multiple comments spanning years. The story includes specific, non-clinical details (e.g., face wash, interactions with a boyfriend, voice chat in games) that are typical of a genuine human experience, not a scripted narrative. The emotional tone is passionate and personal, aligning with the expected perspective of a desister.
About me
I started questioning my gender at 14 because I felt like an alien and couldn't connect with other girls, and I began taking testosterone at 18. For a while, I thought being trans explained everything, but I stopped hormones at 20 and later realized I am autistic, which was the real reason for my confusion. Meeting my boyfriend made me realize I truly wanted to be someone's girlfriend and wife, not a man. I've fully detransitioned now and am finally comfortable in my skin as a woman, even with the permanent changes from testosterone. I don't regret my path because it was necessary for me to finally understand and accept myself.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender was confusing and, looking back, I think it was mostly about me not understanding myself. I never thought about my gender at all until I was about 14 and learned what being trans was. Before that, I just knew I felt different from everyone else, especially other girls. I felt alien, like I couldn't connect with them or understand the rules they all seemed to know. I was also really depressed and had a lot of social anxiety, and I didn't like my body much, though it wasn't a specific "I want male parts" feeling. When I discovered the concept of being transgender, it was like a lightbulb went off. I latched onto it because it seemed like an explanation for all the confusion and discomfort I was feeling.
I started transitioning socially at 15, telling people I was a boy and using a different name and pronouns. My family was really defiant and confused at first, but they eventually came around and showed me support. When I turned 18, I started testosterone. I was on T for about two years. I did get a lot of euphoria from the changes at first. I loved my voice getting deeper, and I liked the more masculine build I got in my upper body. But the acne was terrible. It moved from my chest and back to my face, and even years after stopping T, I still have redness and scarring from it.
For a long time, even after I stopped the injections around age 20, I tried to convince myself I was non-binary. That felt like a comfortable middle ground for a few years. The actual decision to stop T wasn't a big event; I just stopped doing the injections one day. My period came back after a few weeks to a month, and I haven't had any issues with fertility, which is good because I realized later that I do want to be a mother one day.
The real turning point for me happened around age 24, and it involved two big things: meeting my boyfriend and finally getting diagnosed as autistic. When I met my boyfriend (who was just a coworker and friend at the time), I was still identifying as non-binary. He's straight, but he liked me anyway and was really respectful. As we grew closer, I had this realization that I didn't want to be his "partner"; I wanted to be his girlfriend. I wanted to be someone's wife someday. That was a huge shift in how I saw myself.
Around the same time, I learned I am autistic. Everything clicked into place. I found out that it's very common for autistic women to have a disconnected, strange relationship with their gender. That explained the "alien" feeling I'd had my whole life way better than being trans ever did. It wasn't that I was in the wrong body; it was that my brain just doesn't connect with the whole concept of gender in a typical way. Even now, identifying as a woman feels a bit weird, like gender is an extra compartment added onto me that doesn't quite fit. But living as a woman feels more natural than living as a man ever did.
So, I detransitioned fully. I told everyone I was going back to she/her pronouns and identifying as cis. My boyfriend was incredibly supportive through all of it. He loves me for who I am and doesn't care about my deeper voice or the male-pattern hair growth I have from being on T. I still have to shave pretty regularly, and my voice is permanently deeper. Sometimes it's annoying, like when I use voice chat in games and people don't believe I'm a woman and make fun of me, or when I get "sir"'d at work even though I look very feminine. But for the most part, I've made peace with it.
Do I regret transitioning? Not really. I see it as a necessary part of my path to understanding myself. I do wish I could go back and tell my younger self, "Hey, wait, you're autistic! That's why you feel this way!" because it would have saved me a lot of confusion. But the whole experience led me to where I am now, and I'm finally able to be honest about who I am. I'm comfortable in my skin, even if it's a skin with a deep voice and a bit of a beard I have to shave. I don't think being trans is wrong for everyone; it just wasn't right for me once I understood the root of my feelings.
Here is a timeline of the major events:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | First learned about being transgender and started questioning my gender. |
| 15 | Began socially transitioning (new name, he/him pronouns). |
| 18 | Started testosterone (T). |
| 20 | Stopped testosterone injections. |
| 24 | Met my future boyfriend and received an autism diagnosis; began fully detransitioning back to living as a woman. |
| 26 (Now) | Living comfortably as a detransitioned woman, in a happy relationship, and understanding myself much better. |
Top Comments by /u/aggoregios:
Two things - meeting my boyfriend, and realizing I’m autistic. Those happened at similar times. When I met him, he wasn’t my bf yet, but I know he liked me and I liked him… but he was straight and the way I wanted to be with him was as his girlfriend, maybe wife one day. I no longer had any interest in being someone’s boyfriend or just partner. I wanted to be his female counterpart. I also one day realized I want to be a mother too. I started trying out she/her pronouns again, and after we got together, I learned that I’m autistic and that it’s very common for autistic women to have a feeling of disconnect when it comes to their gender. That explained how I felt WAY more than being trans did. So I detransitioned fully and now I actually feel like myself now that I know what’s up with me mentally too.
I completely get this. It took me about 4 years to finally detransition. I tried to convince myself for those years “maybe I’m just nonbinary” but realized that didn’t fit either. I started transitioning socially at 15 and started T at 18. Took for 2 years then stopped. My family was of course very defiant to it and confused at first but eventually showed me support. The thing is, I don’t really REGRET my transitioning. Do I wish I could go back and tell everyone “Hey wait I’m actually undiagnosed autistic I have a weird relationship with gender but it’s just that, I’m not actually trans!!” but it is what it is, and I like to think the whole experience helped me find my way to who I am and it was such a breath of fresh air finally being able to be honest about who I was. You did not deserve any of the awful things that happened, and it’s okay to be wrong about something and correct a mistake. It shows how brave we are for not just sitting and accepting a lifestyle that doesn’t fit!
Of course! So I actually had already been questioning my gender again for a while by the time I met him, when we met I was identifying as nonbinary but I still leaned more towards the masculine aspect. But when we met… we were (and still are) coworkers and he knew I was nonbinary but that didn’t stop him, he was respectful about it and referred to me as they/them like I wanted, kept coming over and telling me dumb jokes, asking me questions about myself, etc. before he transferred to his new position he came by and gave me his number. When we started texting, he said he was fine with me being nonbinary even though he’d only ever seen himself be with women, he knew he still liked me a LOT and had no interest in backing off. Though he was reluctant to start a relationship just yet because of it being new for him and I totally understood since he was straight as an arrow but it led to me realizing that I didn’t want to be his “partner” anyway, I wanted to be his girlfriend. So he (and my roommate) was the first to know about my pronoun change to just try it out… and I’ve just identified as cis ever since; told my family and everyone else maybe barely a month later. I was actually also on T for two years a while back so I have a deep voice, some male pattern hair growth, growth in other areas, etc. and not a single one of these has ever posed a problem :) he’s the type who knows what I went through and doesn’t give a single damn, he loves me for who I am and none of my characteristics put him off. His whole thing is, “are you a girl? Do you have the parts I prefer? Can I call you my girlfriend? That’s all that matters” All in all, it was pretty smooth because I landed such an understanding guy. He was supportive of me all the way through my figuring out that I’m not trans and even when I found out I’m autistic he just became even more understanding and supportive.
Unfortunately, it will happen, especially in today's somehow even worse climate of people trying to transvestigate everybody.
I am the most feminine, long haired, face caked full of makeup, super short girl that I know, and I happen to have a deeper voice due to taking T for two years when I was 18 - 20. I detransitioned about 5 or so years ago and I just got "sir"'d at work the other day. It was really surreal and yet just made me laugh because I know that this dude assumed deep voice means I must be "one of them" like, sike bro I have a coochie now YOU look stupid 🫵🏼🤣
It is never too late!! I also identified as trans for a good 7 years, and though I didn't get surgery, I did take T for a few of those years. Now I am simply a masculine sounding lady and I'm with a man who doesn't care in the slightest and loves every part of me, including the extra hair, slightly different looking parts, etc. and I've never felt more comfortable in my skin. There are no rules to this life. We have one body and it's entirely up to us what we do with it - not society, not our family, not our friends, nobody else. It's so scary I know, because the opinions of those around me was what kept me from detransitioning for a good couple years... But I finally went for it and god I'm so glad that I did. You can do it too!
Checks out coz if I’d screened for autism before transitioning it would’ve made way more sense why I felt no connection to my female identity. I have somewhat of a connection now but even now it’s like “I mean yeah I’m a girl I guess. Meh” lol. But anyway. Yes. Wish I’d known years ago that I’m autistic
Personally, no not really? For my particular situation, I just didn’t know enough about my own mental health, once I got diagnosed autistic and learned that autistic folks (girls in particular) tend to have a disconnected feeling regarding their gender anyway… it made way more sense than being trans but I have zero doubt in my mind that that route is the best option for other people. Just because it didn’t work out for me doesn’t mean it’s not the answer for others, so I am always still supportive of anyone who wants to explore their gender. But I do also think it’d be a good idea for anyone who has those feelings of disconnect with their gender to also be evaluated the way I desperately wish I was when I was little. It’s of course possible to be autistic and trans but it’s also very easy to mistake that autistic disconnect for the trans experience… in my experience and it seems like a lot of other autistic women’s experience as well 🤷♀️
A lot of what you’re describing about yourself is so similar to me and how I’ve always felt about myself and my gender. Timid, socially poor, just felt completely alien to everyone, even back when I was more fine with my gender and didn’t think about it a lot, I still felt totally disconnected from other girls. Later, I thought I was trans for almost a decade, then finally realized that my “alien-ness”, my disconnect from my gender, is due to autism. It’s very common in autistic people to have a disconnected, strange relationship with gender. I ID as a woman and I was born one, but it still feels weird calling myself one lol. Gender to me feels like an extra compartment that I’m fine with having added onto me but it’s not at all part of my actual system, and sometimes that extra compartment feels like it just doesn’t fit and that a different compartment might fit better. I’m here to say that if your brain situation is anything like mine, trying a different compartment won’t fix it. It may feel good for a time since it’s something new and fresh and it might itch a scratch but eventually you may realize that the original compartment was a little more true to you, even if it was hard to know who “you” were at the time… So I’m not saying don’t go for it, but again, If how you feel sounds anything at all like how I felt and still feel, I’d for sure do a little more thinking on whether or not making that change will really itch the scratch.
Hello!! I myself was on T for a little over 2 years before I stopped, and I ended up detransitioning due to realizing that my disconnect with gender was heavily linked to my undiagnosed autism, and now I guess I identify as cis but the whole thing still feels so strange and almost fake. Because I loved the changes to my voice. I was sad I lost my angelic singing voice too but I still like it better than I ever liked my original voice… and I like the fact that even years later I still have a bit of a more “masculine” build when it comes to my upper body. The libido too… I still enjoy the other changes that I won’t mention on Reddit. So I got lots of euphoria as well when I first started T and then once I began to doubt if I wanted to keep going, I stopped, and about a year later finally realized what was going on. I wasn’t trans, nor was I nonbinary (coz I thought I was for years and identified as such for a long time), I barely felt cis either though?! IDing as cis is easier and more “true” but it’s still such a disconnected feeling and that’ll never go away. I miss aspects of identifying as a guy but living as a woman feels more natural, even with all my “masculine” aspects thanks to T. I dunno. It really is so much less black and white than people make it seem so I completely get it.
See, I didn’t think about it either though - it was never a thing that came to mind up until I learned what being trans was, and I was also very depressed at the time and knew I was confused about what was going on in my head, and I didn’t like my body much either. Not in a “I wish I had male parts” way or anything. But once I discovered what being trans was, the idea kept nagging at me, and I guess I made the decision that the confusion and discomfort I felt just HAD to be because I was trans… because I had no idea what else it possibly could’ve been - I had no idea that certain mental illnesses and developmental disabilities could also result in a strange disconnected relationship with one’s gender. But my main symptoms I’d say: I’ve never been able to distinguish if someone is genuine or joking, I can’t make eye contact for more than 3 seconds, convos are almost impossible because my brain just cannot come up with what a “proper” response is which leads to a lot of awkwardly dropped convos and me totally missing cues… even when I never thought about gender I knew that I felt “off” and different from everyone. Somehow both more mature than my peers and yet incredibly set back developmentally? Awful sensory issues, there’s a lot of things I can’t eat and clothes I can’t wear because I will legitimately cry, the slightest loud noise literally causes physical pain for me. I have awful meltdowns (the self harm types that involve a lot of smacking my own head with my hands or against a wall… it’s ugly) this doesn’t even cover the half of it. Really, looking up the basic criteria for autism (particularly in women in my case), all the symptoms are there, to a T. Learning all this and that it’s just how my brain is and not because of any hidden thing, like being unhappy with my gender or something… it was life changing. Obviously that’s not the explanation for everyone and it may not be for you after all! But it was for me and I like to bring it up to see if maybe anyone else could possibly do the research before delving into it, since I myself had no idea and I genuinely wish I’d known when I was younger that being autistic was a thing I could be (was raised by parents who believed autism was only a thing in little boys and could be grown out of). Btw I began transitioning at 15 and I am 26 now, I stopped transitioning at 21, and began fully detransitioning at 24. Never once even thought about my gender until I learned about what being trans was when I was about 14.