This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "ajf2077" appears to be authentic and shows no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a fake account.
The user provides a highly detailed, consistent, and emotionally complex personal narrative spanning several years. The story includes specific medical details (e.g., dosage schedules, physical changes from testosterone, health complications), psychological introspection, and a clear, evolving perspective that is common in genuine detransition accounts. The user also engages with others in a supportive, conversational manner, offering advice based on their own experiences with therapy, medication, and radical feminism. The language is natural, contains personal anecdotes, and shows the user's passion and anger, which aligns with the warning that detransitioners can be "very passionate and pissed off." There are no indicators of automated or scripted responses.
About me
I was born female and my journey started with the pressure to be feminine and the trauma of childhood abuse, which made me disconnect from my body. I transitioned to male because I associated it with strength and thought it was easier than being a gender-nonconforming lesbian. After years on testosterone and having surgery, my mental health collapsed until proper medication gave me the clarity to see my transition was a band-aid for deeper issues. I’ve been detransitioned for a year now and am learning to accept myself as a woman with a masculine presentation. My focus is on healing and embracing the reality of my female body.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition was long and complicated, and it started long before I ever took any hormones. I was born female, and from a young age, I was a tomboy. I never liked dresses or makeup, and I felt a lot of pressure to be more feminine. My family and peers often ridiculed me for not "acting like a girl," which did a real number on my mental health. I now see this as the beginning of my internalized homophobia; I'm a lesbian, and I hated the idea of being seen as a "disgusting dyke" or a woman with "penis envy." It felt easier to believe I was really a man than to face the homophobia and misogyny that came with being a gender-nonconforming woman.
I also had a lot of trauma from my childhood. I was severely abused by my mother and stepfather from the age of three. To cope, I learned to disconnect from my body, a process called dissociation. When puberty hit and my breasts started to develop, I felt nothing at first, but as they became more noticeable, I began to imagine they were muscles instead. I started to align myself with being male because I associated maleness with power and strength, and femaleness with being a victim. This, combined with my ADHD, which makes me hyper-focus and obsess over things, meant I became completely fixated on the idea that I was trans.
I first had the thought that I might be trans when I was 21, back in 2001. The lesbian community I was in was full of butch women starting to say they were trans men. But back then, transitioning was harder; there was more gatekeeping. I was unwilling to do what was asked, like living as a man for a year without hormones, so I kept it to myself. Fast forward to 2015, when trans issues went mainstream. I was going through a very hard time, my life was falling apart, and it had become super easy to get hormones. I walked into a clinic and told a therapist, "I think I'm trans but I don't know." I didn't even really want to go on testosterone, but she said, "Why don't you just try it?" So I did. There was no deep probing into my trauma or my mental health. It was informed consent, which means there were zero stops to just pumping cross-sex hormones into my body.
I was on testosterone for four years, from age 35 to 39. I even had top surgery and got a double mastectomy. For the first year or two, I felt better. Testosterone initially helped my depression, and I liked the changes, like my voice dropping and growing facial hair. It felt like a relief to not have breasts anymore. Living as a man was also easier in a lot of ways; people were nicer to me, and I was treated with more respect. I didn't have to deal with the same level of sexism.
But it didn't last. My mental health started to deteriorate badly. Testosterone made my pre-existing anxiety disorder much, much worse. I would get very lethargic and sleepy for a few days after my shot, and then have terrible insomnia the rest of the time. When my testosterone levels were at their peak, I'd get very clumsy and shaky. I eventually reached a point where I couldn't leave my room without having a panic attack. My depression was ruling my life.
The real game-changer was finally getting proper mental health care. I was put on antidepressants for my depression and anxiety, and as soon as the meds kicked in, I had a moment of clarity. I suddenly thought, "Oh shit, I don't think I needed to transition. I think I needed medication and therapy." The antidepressants changed my life; they cleared my head and made my problems feel manageable for the first time. They gave me the ability to think logically instead of being run by my emotions.
This clarity made me start questioning everything. I realized that what I thought was gender dysphoria was mostly a mix of body image issues, internalized homophobia, and deep-seated trauma. My wife has struggled with an eating disorder for years, and hearing her and the women in her support group talk about their body image felt strikingly similar to what trans people describe as dysphoria. I began to see that my desire to transition was a band-aid for multi-layered issues, both with myself and with a society that hates gender-nonconforming women.
I also became deeply uncomfortable with the trans community and its ideology. I'm a very logical person who likes to live in reality, and the idea that saying "I am a man" makes me a man, ignoring all biological and social realities, started to feel insane. I am who I am because of all my experiences; I can't just erase them. I missed being with women as a woman. I missed female spaces and the shared experiences of being socialized female. I didn't fit in with men; I didn't think or act like them, and I didn't want to.
I started my detransition about a year ago, at age 39. I've been off testosterone for several months now. It's been a process of accepting my reality: I am a female, and that is okay. My masculine presentation is just a normal variation of being a woman. I can wear a suit one day and a dress the next if I want to; my style doesn't change my sex. Radical feminism has been incredibly empowering for me because it separates womanhood from stereotypes and focuses on the reality of being female in a patriarchal society.
I do have some regrets. I regret the toll testosterone took on my body. I have a receding hairline, a permanent beard, and a deeper voice. I regret my top surgery sometimes; I wish I had just had a reduction. I feel a deep sadness that I cut away a healthy part of my body instead of learning to make peace with it. But I also don't fully regret it because it was part of my journey to understanding myself. It made me realize just how much of a woman I truly am.
Now, I'm focused on my health. My body is feminizing again—my skin is softer, my body fat is redistributing, and my head hair is thickening. I'm getting laser hair removal for my face, which my insurance is covering. My mental health is better than it has ever been, thanks to therapy, medication, and a lot of hard work unpacking my trauma. I'm learning to love my body as it is, to see it as mine and something beautiful.
My thoughts on gender are that it's largely a social construct—a set of stereotypes assigned to our biological sex. I believe the condition of feeling like you are in the wrong body is very rare and is likely a mental health issue related to brain mapping, similar to how some people feel a limb isn't theirs. But for the vast majority of people, what's called "gender dysphoria" is a symptom of other issues like trauma, internalized homophobia, depression, anxiety, or OCD. Transitioning should be an absolute last resort after all other mental health issues have been thoroughly addressed. The current system of informed consent is dangerous and ignores the real harm that cross-sex hormones can do to a body that isn't meant to run on them.
I don't hate or dislike trans people. I want everyone to be happy and healthy. But I strongly disagree with trans ideology. I believe it's a harmful fantasy that encourages people, especially young lesbians and traumatized women, to medically harm themselves instead of addressing the root causes of their pain. We need to be compassionate and help people love themselves and their bodies, not encourage them to change them.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 3 | Childhood abuse began, leading to dissociation from my body. |
| 21 (2001) | First started thinking I might be trans, influenced by the lesbian community, but did not pursue it due to gatekeeping. |
| 35 (2015) | Started testosterone therapy through informed consent. |
| 36 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 38 | Severe mental health decline; started effective antidepressants and began to question my transition. |
| 39 (2019) | Stopped testosterone and began the process of detransitioning. |
| 40 (Present) | Living as a detransitioned woman, focusing on therapy and health. |
Top Comments by /u/ajf2077:
I am pretty active on here and I can assure you I am not transphobic. On the contrary, as a woman who has struggled and still does struggle with dysphoria, mental health issues and bullying for being a gender non conforming female I want to help trans people. I lived 4 years of my life as a trans man and yes some things were helped but over all it did not have the effect that I thought it would or that people told me it would. I found I traded one set of body issues and mental health problems for another.
I and many detransition people have found that transition is not the magic cure everyone seems to think it is and that dysphoria is a complex issue that can not be solved with only physical change to your body. Many of us have even found that the health risk of cross sex hormones and surgery is much greater then the health care community or the trans community is willing to admit.
I only want to help others to find peace and comfort in their own bodies. I have experienced a lot of healing from dysphoria from intense therapy and antidepressants and I am not alone. Detrans people just want to help others because we know their pain and we know that transition isn’t always the best choice . I also believe it shouldn’t be the only choice, be very careful when a problem can only be solved one way.
They do mention hysto but the part they don’t talk about and most doctors may not even know this, is that vaginal atrophy can be very severe and also cause incontinence. I think this needs to be very clear to the patient what will happen to them on T. This is not a “Maybe this will happen” it’s a “when”.
From personal stories I have heard of all kinds of other health issues that seem pretty common. Keep in mind synthetic testosterone has never been tested for use in female, it’s being used off label. This is no mans land, doctors don’t know and patents don’t know what they are in for. Could we find out down the road that cancer, heart issues and other things are much higher in trans men? I wouldn’t be surprised.
When it’s all said and done, common sense tells us it’s dangerous. It’s synthetic it’s not meant to be there in such high quantities and the female system is not set up for it.
I personally don’t think we need to be tip toeing around not offending trans people or worry about the fact that a lot of us are detransitioning as a problem for the trans community. Because it is. It is a problem that many people especially lesbian woman do transition and then detrans. If you are an adult and want to transition and can pay for it your self then go for it. But it’s a shit ideology that tells people that their emotional traumas and feeling of not fitting gender stereotypes means they are trans and the only way to feel better is to cut up your body. I don’t buy it. And I don’t care what the trans community thinks or feels about it. Especially because this hurts kids and woman more then anyone else.
That being said, thanks for sharing. And welcome.
To everyone here, you are not ruined. You have survived through things that most people can’t imagine. I was on T for 4 years, I had top surgery, I do regret it don’t get me wrong. I do have bad days, we all do. But I have learned that I was very mentally ill when I made the decision to transition. I had very bad life long depression I had trauma and ptsd and my life was falling apart. I made the decision I did from a place of pure chaos and no one helped me. I went to a therapist, I tried to do the right thing but I was still told that transitioning was the right thing.
It sounds like you all can understand what I’m talking about. We made what we thought was a good decision from a place of desperation, but we came through. We are better now we are recovering. It takes time. My hair has started to come back and my body is becoming more female in appearance. Some things will go back, maybe not exactly as they were but they can improve. I see a therapist, I take antidepressants and I do a lot of self care.
We have to forgive ourselves, we have to be ok with where we are in the present and we have to take care of ourselves. Seek help if you need it, you are deserving, we are deserving. You are not alone .
Dysphoria is actually pretty normal for young women , especially as we are going through puberty. It can suck to be female in our society, we all have had to deal with some kinda shit because we are female. having to deal with periods and all that woman stuff can suck. Here’s the thing, most young people who have dysphoria will grow out of it as they get older. I don’t know what kind of dysphoria you have or how bad it is. What has helped me is therapy and staying focused on keeping my body healthy. Taking cross sex hormones is very bad for your health. I know I was on T for 4 years. You are female, a young woman and you will always be a woman. I think you’re on the right track in trying to get help for your dysphoria with out transitioning or even thinking your trans. Look around in some of the post on here from the past, lots of people, especially women talking about their experiences. Might be helpful. Stay strong
The part about missing being with women as a woman and women spaces and realizing that one of the reasons you transitioned was to escape being a butch woman is exactly my experience as well. You are definitely not in the minority on this. Does transitioning help some things? Yep does it hurt other ? Yep. Can you detransition, yes. Is it hard? Yes . If it helps at all I feel grateful everyday that I decided to detrans after 4 years living as a man. For me it was a bandaid. I temp fix to a lot of deep problems that I needed to address. I would recommend finding a good therapist that will work with you on trauma and body issues. Try and find one who isn’t wrapped up in trans ideology. You will have to take the lead on your care but finding a professional that can help you through the maze will help. We are woman, fuck everyone who ever told us we weren’t.
It bugs me because it’s people who don’t know what the hell they are talking about encouraging self harm and bad coping skills. Your true self is just you, as you are, no body modification. But we do not live in a culture that truly excepts people actually being themselves.
The only thing we are sure of is there has been no scientific based medical studies on the effects of testosterone on the female body. T is prescribed off label and is not intended for females to use. There has been lawsuits brought against the pharmaceutical companies that make some forms of testosterone by males who were negatively affected by there use.
The small studies we do have are of female body builders that use T to build muscle. Those studies show many negative health effects. Some have speculated that T in females might double the risk of heart attack, diabetes & stroke. But again, no long term studies have been done to know for sure.
Like others have said here, common sense is, T is not meant for female bodies in high doses and will harm your health. Every detrans woman I know including myself have had negative health problems from its use.
Homosexual people by definition are attracted to the same sex (not gender). Gay men are not discriminating at all. It’s incredibly homophobic to disregard a gay persons sexuality like it’s no big deal. Also lesbians are not less picky they just tend to appreciate the female form in more varieties then heterosexual folks. I agree you should have been told the reality of the situation but trans talking points and ideology are far removed from reality. Unfortunately the medical community doesn’t give a shit about you me or anyone, it’s a money game. Lots of detrans people will tell you that it’s absolutely possible to live as you are with dysphoria and actually heal from it and live a healthy happy life with out transitioning. I’m sorry you have gone through these things every detrans person understands the hardships. I hope you find your way.
Seek help for what sounds like some bad depression. T won’t help this in the long run, many people with mental health issues find they get worse on cross sex hormones. First and foremost, seek help for mental health issues. Maybe a therapist can help you navigate learning to except yourself as you are, a female who feels more at ease in “men’s” clothes and isn’t very feminine. This isn’t anything that abnormal even though you may feel it is. There are lots of us butch women out here living healthy content lives as we are.
I held off on transitioning for years because of my grandmother, then I transitioned and found I just traded one set of problems for another. My mental health got worse and my health suffered. I got help for my depression and anxiety and detransitioned. I feel better now then I ever have. I wish you the best, keep yourself safe and healthy.