This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The comments display:
- Personal, emotionally complex experiences with transition and detransition.
- Internal consistency in the user's story (e.g., specific details about weight gain, voice changes, age).
- Nuanced and reflective reasoning about their motivations and regrets.
- Emotional variance, including anger, regret, sadness, and acceptance, which is consistent with the passionate and often painful experiences of detransitioners.
About me
I started transitioning to male at 15, believing my discomfort with puberty and my dry sense of humor meant I wasn't a woman. Taking testosterone for years made me feel worse, causing weight gain, hair loss, and a deep voice I now miss. My biggest realization was that I had never given myself a chance to just be a woman and accept my own femininity. I've been off hormones for a year now, and my body has mostly returned to a more feminine shape, which has been healing. I'm learning through therapy that there's no right way to be a woman, and my mind doesn't have to match a masculine stereotype.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition started when I was very young, at 15 years old. I decided I was a boy and never really gave myself a chance to live as a woman. I think a lot of my discomfort came from puberty; I hated my breasts and felt a lot of general discomfort with my body, but I see now it was probably more about body dysmorphia than true gender dysphoria.
I felt like my humor and the way I thought was very dry and masculine, so I believed that meant I had to be a man physically too. It was a form of escapism for me, something new and exciting to focus on instead of dealing with my deeper issues like my depression and low self-esteem. Looking back, I was definitely influenced online and by the people around me. I wish I had seen more negative transgender experiences or heard from people who had doubts when I was younger. Everyone just seemed excited about the changes, and no one talked about where their problems originally stemmed from.
I took testosterone for several years. At first, it felt good, but it didn't cure what I was going through. Physically, the changes were drastic and mostly negative for me. I gained about 60 pounds, my skin dried out, and I started losing my hair. My voice dropped significantly, and I lost my singing voice, which I was really angry about. I ended up feeling gross, nasty mentally, and even more depressed than before. I felt sloppy and so unhappy with my life.
A big turning point was realizing that I had never accepted myself as a woman. From 15 to 22, I repressed all my feminine traits. I never played with makeup because I felt too manly, and I never got along with girls because I connected better with men. I never got to experience growing up as a woman whatsoever. I never even gave myself a chance.
I don’t think I truly regret transitioning because it was a crazy learning experience that got me where I am today. I have moments where I really appreciate what it taught me. But I also have moments where I break down and cry because I feel like I aged 10 years in a short amount of time, and I have to deal with so many irreversible changes, like my voice and hair loss.
My thoughts on gender now are that there is no right way to be a woman. For some reason, a lot of us see female pronouns with a bad connotation, but it's really just our own perception. Without society, pronouns wouldn't matter and it wouldn't hurt to hear them. You are your own person, not just your gender.
Detransitioning has been a process. I’ve been off testosterone for a year now, and my body is resilient. My face shape is back to being round and feminine, and my stomach is flat again, not round like male body fat. Things like facial hair can be managed with shaving or laser removal, and you can train your voice back with effort and time. Nothing is truly irreversible.
A big part of my healing was therapy. My therapist had me sit down and write out what I would gain from detransitioning on one side and what I liked about being transitioned on the other. It was an amazing outlet for my scattered thoughts and feelings. It helped me realize that my main reason for transitioning was based on a flawed idea that my mind had to match my body in a specific way.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 15 | Decided I was a boy and began socially transitioning. Repressed all feminine traits. |
| 18 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 22 | Stopped testosterone after several years of use. Began the process of detransitioning. |
| 23 | One year off testosterone. Body and face have become feminine again. |
Top Comments by /u/aleksterling:
I identify with the female in the situation and wanted her surrounded by nature and being pulled back by the foliage and vines because I was making a mistake transitioning to male instead of staying in/accepting my natural body. And I had the male character wearing a mask and making an offering as an easy solution to my problems instead working on myself and digging deeper.
But now I can see that if you view it the other way around, the woman can viewed as almost idolized and a way to process AGP.
That’s so cool!
Nothing is truly irreversible. My voice dropped, I have a full beard, my hairline receded. It’s a lot to deal with but it’s not there forever.
Hair can be waxed/shaved or removed permanently with laser hair removal, you can train your voice back with some effort and time.
I’m a year off of testosterone and my face shape is back to being round and feminine. My stomach shape is back to being flat and not round like male body fat is.
It takes time but you will get there. Never doubt your body, it’s very resilient and knows what it’s doing.
Remember that there is no right way to be a woman.
For some reason a lot of us see female pronouns with a bad connotation when it’s really just us perceiving it that way.
I think trying to remember that you are your own person and not your gender helps relieve a little bit of that dysphoria.
Without society here, your pronouns wouldn’t matter and it wouldn’t hurt to hear them. I know it’s hard getting used to them again after identifying with something so neutral.
Best of luck, follow your heart. You are loved.
I have moments of really appreciating my transition because it truly did teach me a lot, and while it didn’t cure me of what I was going through, it did feel new and exciting and almost a form of escapism at the time.
But other times I break down and cry because I feel like I aged 10 years in a such a short amount of time, and I have so much hair loss and other irreversible changes that I can’t look back on.
I don’t think I’d ever change what I did though. It really was a crazy learning experience and it got me where I am today.
So no I don’t think I regret it.
Yes yes yes! That’s perfect.
I have a lot of regrets and doubts transitioning and I think the vines for me at least also meant that there was always femininity holding onto me and trying to get me to stay there.
The vines with the family are a really good interpretation! Thank you so much!
Before anything, I would HIGHLY recommend sitting down and either writing down or drawing what you would gain from detransitioning on one side, and what you liked about being transitioned on the other. My therapist had me do this and it was an amazing outlet for my thoughts and feelings.
I had a lot of scattered thoughts all throughout my transition about being a woman and what that meant.
My main reason for transitioning I think is that the way I think and the way my humor comes off is very dry and masculine. Mentally I felt like a man so obviously physically I had to be one too right?
My breasts gave me discomfort but I think it was body dysphoria and not gender dysphoria. I was very young.
But as I physically transitioned I gained 60lbs, my skin started drying out, I felt gross, I felt nasty mentally. I ended up even more depressed than I had been before when I was younger and did drugs and felt sloppy and so unhappy with my life.
A big part of my detransitioning is that I never got to accept myself as a woman. I never played with makeup because I felt too manly. I never got along with girls because I connected better with men. I never got to experience growing up as a woman whatsoever because from age 15 I decided I was a boy and I repressed all feminine traits back. So from 15-22 years old I never even got to test out or live as a woman. I never even gave myself a chance.
Pretend there are no other people looking at you or influencing your decisions. How do YOU feel? Are you doing this to please others or fit into society’s standards? Or are you genuinely comfortable living as man?
TLDR; I was very young and didn’t even let myself get a chance to live life without transitioning and being influenced by others.
That’s genuinely what I felt like too. I gained so much weight from T and my mental health just kept going downhill even though I thought transitioning would make it better.
Both pictures were taken right after buying new clothes and I felt so awful in the first one. Crazy that this even happened lol.
Yes yes yes.
I wish I had more people to talk to about this when I was younger and more exposure to reasonings why I felt so awful and even just more negative transgender experiences.
No one talks about where their problems originally stemmed from, it’s only more and more young people excited to see changes happen to their body because it’s new and something they can work and focus on in that moment.
I’m happy to see this community growing because we need more voices out here, but I’m so angry that this has to be a community in the first place.
Yea my voice is definitely making me really stressed out too. I work in customer service so when I talk to customers I think it’s pretty feminine, because I’m being super over the top but it’s still that weird androgynous tone. I think I’m more angry that I lost my singing voice because I used to be able to go so high and now it’s just sad and deep lol.