This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account is potentially inauthentic. The primary red flag is the highly specific and professional perspective.
The user writes exclusively from the viewpoint of a therapist with current clients, not from the perspective of a detransitioner or desister. Their comments are clinical, using professional jargon ("scope of practice," "ethical requirements," "clinical training") and focus on the therapist's dilemma, not personal experience.
While a detransitioner could become a therapist, an authentic account would likely include at least some reference to their own detransition story, feelings, or recovery. The complete absence of any personal narrative is a serious red flag.
About me
I started testosterone at 18 after a therapist approved it without exploring my deeper issues. My new therapist later questioned my desire for surgery, which made me angry but started my re-evaluation. I now see my distress was from mental health struggles and social pressures, not from being born in the wrong body. I stopped hormones and am living as a woman again, though I'm now infertile. I'm just grateful I never had surgery.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition is a story of confusion, outside pressure, and finally finding my own truth. I was a young adult, just 18, when I started taking testosterone. A therapist I saw back then signed off on it without really digging into why I felt the way I did. At the time, I was absolutely convinced that my body was wrong. I hated my breasts and experienced what I called extreme dysphoria. I believed that not having surgery was a greater risk to my health and safety because the feeling was so intense.
Looking back, I see now that my feelings were more complicated. I think a lot of my discomfort started during puberty. I also struggled with very low self-esteem and anxiety. I now believe I was influenced a lot by what I saw online; it seemed like transitioning was the only solution for anyone who felt uncomfortable with gender expectations. There was a lot of pressure in the culture, and even in the therapy world, to be purely "affirming" without asking deeper questions. It felt like no one was allowed to be curious about the root causes of my distress.
My experience with a later therapist was a major turning point for me. When I brought up wanting bottom surgery, she tried to discuss the serious, permanent risks with me. It’s a life-altering surgery that you can’t reverse. At the time, I became very upset and triggered. I felt completely misunderstood and shut down the conversation. I thought she was being invalidating. But her willingness to ask those tough questions, even though it made me angry then, was actually what I needed. It started me on the path to realizing that my problems weren’t really about my body, but about other issues I had never dealt with, including my mental health.
I don't regret my journey because it led me to where I am now, but I do regret the permanent changes from testosterone. I am now infertile, which is a hard reality to face. I never had any surgeries, and for that I am immensely grateful. If I had gotten top or bottom surgery, I know my regrets would be so much deeper.
My thoughts on gender have changed completely. I no longer believe that I was born in the wrong body. I believe I am a woman who was deeply uncomfortable with the pressures and expectations placed on women, and who was struggling with other mental health issues that got misdirected into a gender identity. I benefited greatly from a therapy that was not just affirming but was willing to be curious and challenge me.
I hope that by sharing my story, others might pause and ask more questions before making permanent decisions. Young people, even at 18 or 19, are still developing and may not be making the best decisions for their long-term selves. It’s okay to question, and it’s okay to need a therapist who does more than just agree with you.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 18 | Started taking testosterone (HRT). A previous therapist approved it without deep exploration. |
| 19 | Expressed a strong desire for bottom surgery due to extreme dysphoria. |
| 19 | Began working with a new therapist who questioned the surgery, causing me to feel triggered but ultimately starting my re-evaluation. |
| 20 | Stopped testosterone and began the process of detransition. |
| Present | Living as a woman, dealing with the permanent side effect of infertility, but grateful I avoided surgery. |
Top Comments by /u/allison1derland_:
I agree. There is a lot of pressure on therapists to be gender affirming, it was definitely taught over and over again to me in grad school and in clinical training. It has unfortunately become very taboo to question this, so many therapists either just won’t work with this population out of fear, or the ones who do, focus solely on being gender affirming without asking deeper questions.
I have not written any letters for any clients in this regard. This client does not have top surgery though they have been taking HRT medications for a few years, which was signed off on my another therapist from the past. It is challenging to walk the balance between being curious and trying to understand the root of it, without further traumatizing the client by being invalidating. When I tried to discuss the risks of the surgery with my current client they became very upset and triggered and felt I was not understanding them and their dysphoria.
I am hopeful it will be a phase, as more of your stories are coming to light and being heard. Unfortunately, I believe there will be many more people who will transition and then detransition in the coming years, and the more this happens and the more your stories are heard, things will start to shift. It will take some time though. I encourage you, if you do decide to seek therapy, to be very clear with your needs and expectations. You don’t have to go along with something a therapist says just because they’re the therapist. Ask lots of questions before you meet with them for ongoing sessions
Therapists can turn away clients for all sorts of reasons. We are required ethically to work within our scope of practice and our scope of competence. So, if someone went to see a therapist to work on addiction, but the therapist had no experience working with addiction, the therapist generally should refer the client out to someone with specific addiction experience. If a therapist didn’t want to work with trans identities, they might just refer out as not being within their scope of competence. It is unethical not to do so, if that is the main thing the client is seeking treatment for. If a therapist didn’t have that experience and wanted to take the client, they would have to tell the client truthfully about that and seek consultation and/or additional training to make sure they are practicing in a competent and ethical way.
We have very generally explored the risks, but this was a conversation that caused the client to shut down and feel misunderstood by me. They expressed feeling that not having the surgery was a greater risk to their health and safety because of the extreme dysphoria they experience. So then it makes me feel like, who am I to say that you shouldn’t do this? But I also understand that someone who is 18 or 19 is still so young and not fully capable of making the best decisions for themselves. The frontal lobe doesn’t stop growing until age 25
Thanks for your response. They are over 18 so they are a young adult. The client has mentioned their dysphoria as the leading reason for wanting the bottom surgery, and the client becomes very triggered and shuts down when trying to explore more about the dysphoria and the desire for surgery. It is so concerning to me because it is such a life altering surgery that you can’t reverse.