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Reddit user /u/alwaysontheupswing's Detransition Story

Detransitioned: 24
female
took hormones
regrets transitioning
trauma
influenced online
serious health complications
now infertile
homosexual
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
autistic
eating disorder
took puberty blockers
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.

There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments are highly personal, emotionally varied (anger, sadness, support), and contain specific, consistent details about a multi-year transition and detransition experience. The user also offers nuanced opinions and engages in supportive community interaction, which aligns with a genuine detransitioner's perspective.

About me

I started hormone blockers at fourteen, which stopped my natural female development and caused me years of pain. I now see my autism and eating disorder made me feel different, and I confused that discomfort with being trans. I lived as a man for years, but testosterone caused changes to my voice and body that I deeply regret. I’ve realized I am a lesbian and that my struggles were rooted in trauma, not in being the wrong gender. I’m now detransitioning and trying to find peace with the permanent effects of that decision.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition and detransition is complicated and rooted in a lot of pain I didn't understand at the time. I was born female and I started on hormone blockers when I was just fourteen years old. I wasn't old enough to make such a huge decision that made me infertile and stopped my body from growing naturally. Being on those blockers for six years gave me weekly migraines and I feel like I'm emotionally stunted because I never had a real puberty. Looking back, I think that was an evil thing to do to a kid.

I have autism, which I was diagnosed with long before I ever thought about transition. I think feeling so different and alone made me a target for these ideas. I never felt like I fit in with other girls, but now I realize that was probably the autism, not me being in the wrong body. I also developed a severe eating disorder around puberty. I became obsessed with my ribs and my weight, and I didn't realize how bad my anorexia had gotten. I hated the changes puberty was trying to bring, and I think that discomfort got mixed up with the idea that I was supposed to be a boy.

I identified as non-binary first, and then later as a trans man. I was on testosterone for four years and I lived as a stealth, passing man for over two years. I even had a lot of male friends. At the time, I liked that men respected me more and were more open to listening to my views when they saw me as a man. But my male friends before transition were mostly just trying to hit on me, so it was a very different dynamic.

Being on T caused what I see now as irreparable damage. My voice is permanently changed and I hate it, especially because I used to love singing. I have a five o'clock shadow and a more male figure because of the blockers and hormones. I started losing my hair about a year ago. I can't stand the feeling of the stubble on my face or the hair on my upper legs; it makes me want to give up sometimes. I never had genital dysphoria, and now the changes T made to my body down there make me really sad.

A huge part of my story involves my sexuality. I am a lesbian. But for a while, I identified as a gay trans man. I realized I wasn't actually attracted to men; I was in love with the idea of men. I was strictly into topping men, and through therapy, I realized this was a deep issue where I wanted to punish men for things that had happened to me in the past. Our society is so rooted in patriarchy, and I had to unpack a lot of internalized stuff. I never felt authentically female, but I know now that's because of trauma, not because I'm not a woman.

I’m only weeks into my detransition now. One thing I’ve realized is that womanhood is a sense of community that’s unrivaled. Most women are kind and caring and will look out for you just because you are a woman. There’s a solidarity there that I never experienced with men. I'm starting to save up for laser hair removal because I'm naturally hairy anyway and shaving won't cut it.

I have a lot of regrets. I regret that I wasn't given better therapy to deal with my trauma, autism, and eating disorder instead of being pushed toward transition. I regret that I wasn't old enough to understand that being infertile was a permanent consequence. I feel like I was influenced online and by the people around me at the time to see all my problems as a sign I was trans. I don't think I ever truly was. I just needed help.

Age Event
14 Started hormone blockers.
14-20 Was on hormone blockers for six years.
20 Started testosterone.
20-24 Lived as a passing trans man for over two years.
24 Started losing my hair from testosterone.
24 Officially began my detransition.

Top Comments by /u/alwaysontheupswing:

12 comments • Posting since October 7, 2024
The user "alwaysontheupswing," who identifies as a detransitioned female, shares their experience after four years on testosterone and hormone blockers. They report irreversible physical changes, including damage to genitalia and vocal cords, development of a five o'clock shadow, and a male body shape. They warn that these effects are permanent and emphasize the importance of being absolutely certain before starting medical transition. "Alwaysontheupswing" criticizes their sexologist, describing them as negligent and advising others to avoid such professionals if they do not provide adequate guidance. They also suggest that there is still time to reconsider before major irreversible changes occur from hormone therapy.
52 pointsOct 10, 2024
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you still have time before any mahor changrs happen. i am on t 4 years, irreperable damage to genetalia/vocal chords, 5 oclock shadow, male figure bc i been on hormone blockers, whole thing. u need to be SURE before u do anything bc this stuff is PERMANENT. ur sexologist sounds negligent as fuck drop that bih

Reddit user alwaysontheupswing (detrans female) explains her six-year experience with hormone blockers starting at age 14, calling them "evil" for causing infertility, stunted growth, weekly migraines, and emotional stunting by preventing a natural puberty.
33 pointsOct 24, 2024
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i was on hormone blockers for six years, since i was fourteen. i was not old enough to make the decision to be infertile, stop the way my body naturally grows, give myself weekly migraines. im emotionally stunted because i didnt have a real puberty. hormone blockers are evil

A user with the "detrans female" flair, "alwaysontheupswing," responds to a post about missing a first dose of testosterone by expressing solidarity and reassurance. The user emphasizes that taking steps related to testosterone can be frightening, using phrases like "its a scary step to take," but also offers support by stating "you arent alone" and "me too!!!!!" This language demonstrates emotional responses of anxiety and fear, as well as community support and encouragement among detransitioned females in the /r/detrans subreddit. The comment reflects a dynamic of mutual understanding and shared experience, with members using enthusiastic and empathetic language to convey solidarity and help alleviate anxiety about hormone therapy decisions.
21 pointsOct 7, 2024
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me too!!!!! its a scary step to take but you arent alone!

Reddit user alwaysontheupswing (detrans female) explains her lack of genital dysphoria, her sadness over the physical damage and voice changes from testosterone, and her autism diagnosis, arguing for more female-centric spaces to combat feelings of isolation.
16 pointsJan 11, 2025
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i have never ever ever had genital dysphoria and the damage ive done from being on T makes me rlly sad sometimes, same with my singing voice. also autistic (diagnosed far before i transitioned). its really sad knowing i always felt so alone when there were so many people just like me out there. this is why we need more female centric spaces, im sure a lot of us would feel far less different

Reddit user alwaysontheupswing (detrans female) explains the unique sense of community in womanhood, contrasting it with her experience living as a stealth, passing trans man.
14 pointsOct 13, 2024
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most women you will meet are kind and caring and will look out for you just because you are a woman. womanhood is a sense of community unrivaled to any other, and no matter what you are going through there will always be other women that actually care about your problems and want to help. this is just not the same with men. source: i was a stealth and passing trans man for over two years and have many men in my friendship circles

Reddit user alwaysontheupswing (detrans female) comments that a boyfriend's remark is rude, affirming that chromosomes make one naturally female and no proof is needed.
9 pointsOct 31, 2024
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thats extremely rude of your boyfriend to say to you. the only thing that makes you naturally female is your chromosomes, you dont have to prove that to anybody. yes its difficult to not feel authentically female, i feel the same way, but you are and youre extremely strong for feeling that way openly

Reddit user alwaysontheupswing (detrans female) explains how her attraction to gay men stemmed from a desire to punish men due to past trauma, not genuine attraction.
9 pointsApr 21, 2025
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i am a lesbian who briefly identified as a trans gay man, found i was very much in love with the idea of men and not men. i was strictly into topping men only, which led me to realising i just had some deep issue with wanting to punish men for what theyve done to me in the past. our society is rooted in patriarchy, so usually the reason is patriarchy. it took me years and therapy to unpack this about me, sometimes it can be complicated, this is just my anecdote

Reddit user alwaysontheupswing (detrans female) explains how her detransition provided dark comedic material for her stand-up routine, making it one of her easier creative processes.
8 pointsJan 7, 2025
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ehhh honestly one of the easier creative processes for me, i essentially was just being myself when i usually do intense character work and clowning! the most difficult part to me was keeping the audience engaged by keeping things comedic. ive always liked dark comedy so having gone through some fucked up shit essentially gives me more material, and more material always means a more engaged audience!

Reddit user alwaysontheupswing (detrans female) comments on shared hair loss and body hair struggles, offering solidarity to a fellow detransitioner.
7 pointsOct 26, 2024
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i feel very much the same way, started losing my hair about a year ago and now i cant stand the feeling of my stubble or my upper leg hair and its making me want to give up. just know that you arent alone in this, we're all going through this together

Reddit user alwaysontheupswing (detrans female) comments about saving for laser hair removal and offers support to a fellow detransitioner.
5 pointsOct 26, 2024
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im going to be saving up for laser treatment as im naturally hairy anyway lol, shaving definitely wont do anything for me. plus ive only "officially" been detransing for like a month so not very far into this. i also hope things get easier for you! remember that if you ever need to talk this community is always here for you :)