This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The comments display:
- Personal, specific details: Descriptions of medical appointments, emotional changes on/off testosterone, and personal relationship dynamics.
- Emotional nuance: A range of genuine emotions like frustration, relief, paranoia, and happiness.
- Consistent narrative: A coherent story of detransitioning, including physical and psychological effects, which aligns with the experiences of real detransitioners/desisters.
About me
I was a young woman who felt completely out of place and started testosterone after being influenced by online communities. The hormones made my emotions feel flat and caused intense paranoia, so I realized it was a mistake and stopped. My doctor was dismissive, which made me feel very alone in my decision. Now, I'm learning to accept myself as a woman and have found a loving, supportive partner. While I have regrets about the permanent changes, this difficult journey has finally led me toward peace.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition started because I felt completely out of place. I was born female, but I never felt like I fit in with other girls, especially when puberty hit. I hated the changes in my body, particularly my breasts developing; it felt wrong and foreign to me. I spent a lot of time online in communities where it seemed like everyone who felt this way was trans, so I started to believe that must be my truth, too. I think a lot of my feelings were also tied to a deep depression and very low self-esteem. I didn't like myself, and becoming someone else entirely felt like the only escape.
I socially transitioned first, asking people to use a new name and male pronouns. It felt good at first, like I was finally taking control. That led me to start testosterone. I was on it for about a year and a bit. The physical changes happened fast, but the emotional changes were the hardest. My emotions became really skewed. I found it close to impossible to cry, which was so frustrating. I couldn't really feel sad at all. I wasn't angry, which I was happy about, but my feelings were either just neutral or a flat kind of happy. I also became way more paranoid, about myself and everything around me. I was never like that before.
Eventually, I realized I had made a mistake. I stopped the testosterone. When I told my doctor I was detransitioning, she didn't really listen. She told me it was normal and that most trans guys stop temporarily until they get used to the changes, then go back on it. She told me to call her when I started back on it in a few months. It was so invalidating and made me feel completely alone in my decision.
Coming off the hormones was a process. My emotions slowly started to level out. I’ve been able to start crying easier, which is a huge relief. The paranoia is also slowly starting to go away as I gain my confidence back. A big part of my struggle now is learning how to be a woman. I never learned how to do a lot of "girly" things when I was a teenager, and it’s hard to learn it now in my 20s. It makes me feel like I missed out on a core part of my life.
I also have days where I get really dysphoric about the permanent changes from testosterone. I used to worry a lot about my Adam's apple being visible, but after doing some voice training and my voice sounding more feminine again, that worry has mostly gone away. For a long time, I thought I had made myself unloveable and that I would never date again. But I was so wrong. I found a man who I love so much, and he loves me the same regardless of the hormones I put myself through. He’s so patient and kind, comforting me on my bad days. I couldn’t ask for a better partner.
Looking back, I don't think I was ever truly a man. I think I was a deeply unhappy and confused young woman who was influenced by what I saw online and who saw transition as a way to escape myself. I have a lot of regrets about taking testosterone because of the permanent changes, but I don't regret the journey entirely because it led me to where I am now. I'm finally starting to find peace with myself.
Age | Event |
---|---|
13-14 | Started hating my body and breasts during puberty. Felt deep discomfort and depression. |
19 | Socially transitioned, started using a new name and male pronouns. |
20 | Started taking testosterone. |
21 | Stopped testosterone after a year and a bit. Began the process of detransitioning. |
22 | Met my current, supportive partner while learning to accept myself again. |
Top Comments by /u/amidnightsnak:
When I told my doctor at the follow up appointment I stoped testosterone and was detransitioning she told me it’s normal and most trans guys stop temporarily until they get used to the changes then go back on it a few months later. Then continued to tell me to call her when I start back on it in a few months. 🤦🏼♀️
I’m so sorry that you’re going through all that. My heart goes out to you 💛 I was worried for a while about having a visible Adam’s apple myself but when I started to self voice train and my voice started to sound more feminine naturally that worry went away. People are going to be dicks, that can’t be helped sadly, but so many people even if they’re just internet ones are on your side and supporting you! You also look gorgeous I’m so jealous of your hair 🤍💛
I was on hormones for about a year and a bit and my emotions became really skewed up. I found it close to impossible to cry which was soooo frustrating. Honestly felt hard to feel sad at all. I wasn’t angry though which I’m happy about but it was either neutral or happy. Going off of it I’ve slowly been able to start crying easier which is a huge relief. I was always quite impulsive so I didn’t notice too much of a difference in that area but I definitely became way more paranoid. About myself and other things outside me. I was never like that before and it’s slowly starting to go away now that I’m gaining my confidence back
I’ve been struggling with this too! Obviously we can learn it now in my 20’s(you almost too) but it’s not the same as having teens girls experience it during those years. But like what someone else said it makes me happy to know that there are lots of tomboys. So we aren’t totally alone in not knowing how to do all that “girly” stuff
I thought that I was never going to date again and deemed myself unloveable but I found a man who I love so much and he loves me the same regardless of the hormones I put myself through. He’s so patient and kind on comforting me on the days I get really dysphoric 💛 couldn’t ask for a better partner