This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's posts display a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally raw narrative of deep-seated gender dysphoria and the painful realization that medical transition may not achieve their desired outcome. This is a well-documented and common internal conflict within the detrans community. The language is personal, reflective, and shows genuine engagement with other users' advice.
About me
I was born male and felt a deep disgust for my body from a very young age, believing I was supposed to be female. I started hormones in my early twenties, which helped a little but also made me realize I could never actually become female. Finding this community helped me see my discomfort wasn't a sign I was female, but a different kind of struggle. I've stopped hormones and accepted that I am a man, which is the body I have to live in. I'm now working on finding peace with that instead of chasing an impossible dream.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been long and complicated, and it’s taken me a long time to understand what was really going on with me. I was born male, but from a very young age, around third grade, I had this deep and persistent feeling that I was supposed to be female. It wasn't about clothes or stereotypes; I had friends who were gender non-conforming and that was fine. For me, it was a deep-seated disgust with my own male body. When I looked in the mirror, I hated what I saw. I felt gross and uncomfortable in my own skin.
This feeling never went away. For over fifteen years, I lived with the certainty that I was born in the wrong body. I talked to therapists, but it didn’t really help. I eventually started taking hormones in my early twenties, hoping it would finally make me feel right. It did help a little bit; my body became somewhat more comfortable to live in. But it also created a new problem. I realized that no matter what I did, I would never actually be female. I would never pass, and I would never have a female body, or even one that truly resembled one. The goal I had been chasing my entire life was impossible.
That realization is what brought me to this community. I was unhappy with the answers I was getting in trans spaces, which were mostly about being "valid" regardless of passing. But I didn't just want validation; I wanted the impossible. I wanted to actually be female. Hearing from people here who had similar experiences was a huge turning point for me. It helped me contextualise my thoughts. I started to see that my intense discomfort might not be a sign that I was truly female, but perhaps a sign of a different kind of struggle. Someone helped me see that maybe living as a male, while not something I would ever be happy about, might not be life-ending either.
I don’t have any regrets about transitioning because it was a necessary step for me to figure this out. I needed to try it to see that it wouldn't solve the core problem. My thoughts on gender now are that for me, it was never really about gender at all. It was about a deep, long-standing unhappiness with my body that got focused on the idea of being the opposite sex. I’ve come to accept that I am male, and that this is the body I have to live in. I’m still working on finding peace with that, but I’m in a much better place now than when I was chasing an impossible dream.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 8 years old (approx. 3rd grade) | First remember having a strong desire to be female and feeling uncomfortable being male. |
| Early 20s | Started taking cross-sex hormones (HRT). |
| 26 years old | Began to seriously doubt transition after realizing I would never pass or have a female body. Found this detrans community and started considering a different path. |
| 27 years old | Stopped HRT and began the process of accepting my body as male. |
Top Comments by /u/anon153375:
I’m sorry in advance if this isn’t the right place to ask or post this (I’ll remove it if there are any problems)
I’m a questioning mtf I’ve been on hormones for several years now, no surgeries. I haven’t been happy with my body since well forever. Taking cross sex hormones had helped me become somewhat more comfortable with my body, but all in all I’m starting to doubt I’ll ever be fully comfortable. It’s not that I have suddenly stopped wanting to be female, it’s just that I know I’ll never pass or have a female body, or even one that resembles a female body.
My main reason for coming here is I’m not happy with the answers I’m getting from the trans community and I want to hear some alternative views.
Most of the answers I received were things along the line of “your still valid even if you don’t pass” which don’t really help me in that I want to pass and look female (and if it was possible actually be female)
I guess my question is what should I do ? What if any are your thoughts and advice on my situation ?
It’s not that I don’t think men can be feminine or females masculine, I have lots of friends who are gender non conforming, and im fine with being gnc . It’s more that I’m unhappy being male and having a male body.
When I look in the mirror I feel great disgust with my Male form, when I wear the clothes I like I feel gross because I look in the mirror and see how Male I am. It’s not that I don’t think men can be feminine, it’s that I don’t want to be Male.
Me transitioning has nothing to do with societies expectations of what a man or woman should look or act like, it’s always been a deep desire for me to be female. Like I mentioned before I hate my reflection, I can’t stand how Male I am, and I just wish I was born female.
I hope that makes a little more sense.
Thanks and yeah that describes a lot of what I think I’m going through. It’s not that I’ve stopped wanting to be the other sex, it’s just that I know I won’t ever be able to become or even pass as the other sex.
Idk to be honest I don’t think I’ll ever come to terms with being male, I mean I’ve wanted to be female since about 3rd grade and so far the desire and feelings of being born the wrong sex haven’t persisted .
Thank you You and u/rajaa have given me a lot to think about. While I’m still uncertain about whether I want to stop hrt or keep going, you’ve definitely helped me a lot in contextualising my thoughts, and the possibility of detransitioning. Thank you so much for helping me and for sharing your experience, it really did help to hear from someone who’s story I could relate to, even if I do choose in the end to continue to transition, you’ve helped in that maybe detransitioning or rather being seen as Male might not be the worst thing in the world for me. (Still not something that I’d want to ever do or be happy with, but maybe not life ending either)
Thank you so much again, and I’m sorry you’ve had to struggle so much, I’m glad that you’ve figured things out and that the detrans community has someone like you to help other people that are struggling.
There’s nothing wrong with looking Male, it’s just I don’t want to be or look Male.
You don’t have to apologise for the analogy it’s okay. I think the big difference though is that in your analogy the person suffering sees them self as overweight, where’s as in my case I know I’m male and I don’t see my self as female.
In terms of my feelings being out of place, I know it’s not normal or healthy for me to want something that can never happen (me changing sex) but I doubt my feelings will change idk, I’ve had these feelings for the past 15 years now. I’ve talked to a few therapists about it before with no real avail.