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Reddit user /u/anonmystic26's Detransition Story

Detransitioned: 25
male
took hormones
regrets transitioning
serious health complications
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user.

The user's comments are highly personal, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent over time. They describe a long-term, complex struggle with gender dysphoria, transition, detransition, and retransition consideration, including specific physical and mental health details. The language is conversational, with natural digressions and emotional reactions that are difficult to fake. The account reflects the passionate and often painful conflict described as common for people in this situation.

About me

I'm a 27-year-old male who has spent my entire twenties wrestling with the desire to be a woman, a cycle of starting and stopping hormones that I can't seem to break. I first detransitioned because of the pressure and the unwanted physical changes, but the underlying feeling never truly goes away. I realized a lot of my initial desire to transition was about performing a hyper-feminine ideal to attract straight men, which never led to a real emotional connection. I'm now dealing with lasting physical issues from my brief time on hormones and have scheduled surgery to reverse some of the changes. I still get overwhelming waves of wanting to transition again, and I feel stuck in a hopeless cycle without any clear answers.

My detransition story

My whole journey with gender has been a long and confusing back-and-forth. I’m 27 now, and pretty much my entire twenties have been spent wrestling with the idea of transitioning. It’s like a cycle I can’t break: I’ll start taking hormones, then stop, then think about starting again. The desire to be a woman is something I’ve carried with me for so long it feels like a part of who I am, almost like a need.

A big part of why I first decided to detransition was the pressure. It felt like a lot to handle. I also didn't like the physical changes hormones were causing, specifically losing functionality in my genitals. I started to miss my old self, or at least, the person I was before. But even after stopping, that feeling of needing to be a woman never really goes away. It’s always there in the background.

I’ve thought a lot about why I wanted to transition in the first place. It definitely wasn’t just one thing. For years before I started, I felt like by becoming a woman, I could finally attract the kind of men I was interested in. And it worked, I did attract more attention. But it felt like a performance. I felt like straight men would only accept me if I was hyper-feminine, so I’d put on an act. I started to prefer bisexual men because I thought they’d be more flexible and accepting of the parts of me that weren't perfectly feminine.

Even though I’ve been out as liking men for a long time, both when I lived as a guy and as a trans woman, I’ve never really found a deep emotional connection with another man. That’s been a constant, regardless of how I presented myself.

The physical effects of hormones, even after being off them, are a real concern for me. I took hormones for a very short time in 2017, just a week, but it feels like things were never the same after. I’ve been off them for almost two years now, and I still have problems. Something as simple as peeing is different; it used to be strong, like a water jet, and now it’s not. I’ve tried doing pelvic floor exercises like squats, but it hasn’t made much of a difference. I recently got my hormone levels tested and my natural testosterone is actually very high, but I still have issues with erections. It’s frustrating and confusing.

I just scheduled surgery for gynecomastia, which feels like I'm moving backwards from what I thought I wanted. It’s a weird feeling. My thoughts come in waves. Sometimes the desire to transition is overwhelming, and I spiral into really wanting it again, even after working hard to try and be happy as my natural self. Other times, I can manage it. I’ve tried meditating and looking inward for answers, but I haven’t found a clear path. It feels hopeless sometimes, especially as I get closer to 30. The idea of aging as a man, dealing with things like balding, fills me with dread, especially when I see trans women who seem to be living happily after their transitions.

I don’t know if I have any solid answers about gender. I think there are different types of people who transition. Some have such strong dysphoria that it’s a last resort for them. For others, like me maybe, it’s more about an ideal we want to achieve, with dysphoria and other issues mixed in. I believe that for some people, transitioning is absolutely the right thing and makes them happy. But for others, it might not work out or be what they expected. I see a lot of detransitioned men who end up retransitioning, and I think we’re all just trying to find a way to resolve these difficult feelings.

As for regrets, it's complicated. I regret the permanent physical changes and the ongoing health concerns. I regret the confusion and the time I've lost being stuck in this cycle. But I can't say I regret exploring it, because the feeling was and is so powerful. I just wish I had found a clear answer.

Here is a timeline of the main events I can remember:

Age Event
20 Took hormones for one week in 2017.
25 Detransitioned after a period of being on hormones.
27 Scheduled gynecomastia surgery (as of 2023).
27 Have been off hormones for almost 2 years.

Top Comments by /u/anonmystic26:

16 comments • Posting since February 10, 2023
Reddit user anonmystic26 (Questioning own gender identity) comments on the size of the detrans community, noting its significant percentage compared to the trans subreddit.
29 pointsSep 10, 2023
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Ya I always got confused by this too. Also, if we can just look at the amount of people in r/detrans vs r/trans we can see that the detrans number of people who have joined would make up a significant percentage of those in the trans subreddit group. I’m not sure if that means anything.. but someone has brought it up before and I think there’s some truth to that.

Reddit user anonmystic26 (desisted male) comments on a detransition post, reassuring OP that it's possible to return to a masculine appearance despite long-term HRT and advising against feeding dysphoria.
27 pointsMay 15, 2023
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Wow. I’m sorry this has happened to you and that you feel this way.

Honestly a lot of trans women would kill to look like you and reach the point you’re at but none of that matters if you aren’t happy. You’re brave for being honest tho and asking for other peoples opinions. I think you can go back to looking as make.

I watched a video of a transsexual who was on estrogen for 10+ and still managed to go back looking manly with a full beard. I believe anything’s possible. Do you feel like feeding the dysphoria has made it worse?

Reddit user anonmystic26 (desisted male) explains the two types of people who transition and why it works for some but not others.
18 pointsApr 10, 2023
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I think there’s different types of people that transition.

There’s some that try to conform as best they can but their dysphoria becomes too much so they transition as a last resort. Then I think there’s some that have an image or ideal they want to try and achieve, with dysphoria and other things driving behind it. Idk. My opinion is that some should be able to do it if that is what will make them absolutely happy. But for other people it may not work out or be what they expected it to be.

Reddit user anonmystic26 (desisted male) asks about the physical and mental effects of cross-sex hormones, sharing their own experience of physical transition not affecting their mind.
16 pointsApr 24, 2023
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Just curious to hear from your experience, how has hormones wrecked havoc on your body?

And also, you really did not feel any different after transitioning? Just asking bc I had a moment during my transition where I felt like I changed my body but it didn’t really have any effect on my mind.

Reddit user anonmystic26 (desisted male) explains how his dating preferences shifted during his transition, as he sought bi men who he felt would be more accepting of his non-hyper-feminine traits, and reflects on his struggle to find an emotional connection with men after detransitioning.
13 pointsMar 23, 2023
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I feel this.

I sort of preferred bi men too towards the end of my Trans era since I felt like they would be more flexible with accepting certain parts of me that weren’t hyper feminine bc I felt like “straight” men would only accept me if I was hyper feminine so I kind of put on performance a lot of the times.

I have been out as liking men (both as a guy and trans girl) for a long time now as a 26 year old but have yet to find an emotional connection or interest with another man in all my time as living as a man.

Reddit user anonmystic26 (desisted male) explains how a craving for male attraction was a catalyst for their MtF transition.
9 pointsMar 21, 2023
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I definitely felt this way prior to my own transition for YEARS. I wouldn’t say this was the sole reason for me attempting to transition, but a sort of catalyst. I felt like by transitioning I could attract the men that I wanted, which I did. I desisted for the time being but am aware that this is a huge reason why many MtF’s transition.

Reddit user anonmystic26 (Questioning own gender identity) comments on scheduling gynocomastia surgery, feeling like it's a step backwards from their transition goals and that distracting advice doesn't address persistent dysphoric thoughts.
9 pointsSep 5, 2023
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Dude, I totally get you. I just scheduled my gynocomastia surgery today and it feels like I’m going backwards in terms of what I always wanted for myself.

My feelings and thoughts come and go in waves too, but they’re kind of always there. Yes People always stuff like “just focus on building this, or focus on that” but that’s not how it works in my opinion.

Reddit user anonmystic26 (desisted male) explains his internal conflict about retransitioning, citing pressure to detransition, loss of sexual function on HRT, and missing his old self, but ultimately feeling a need to be his trans self most of the time.
7 pointsFeb 10, 2023
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I detransitioned in the first place bc I felt at the time the pressure was too much, I also didn’t like I was losing functionality down there with HRT. I also missed my old self at times. But I think it’s fair to say that I do want to be that version of myself most of the time, it almost feels like a need.

Reddit user anonmystic26 (desisted male) comments on being prescribed Bicalutamide, revealing a PA later warned him it was "really really bad for you."
5 pointsApr 6, 2023
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I was on it for a bit too. But not too long thankfully. I was told by a PA that it’s actually really really bad for you… my nurse practitioner did not tell me this when he prescribed it to me. I guess I’m fine now as I feel pretty energetic and can work out at the gym pretty vigorously… still need to check my hormones out tho.

Reddit user anonmystic26 (desisted male) discusses their decade-long struggle with gender identity, cycling between transitioning and detransitioning, and the hopelessness of aging as a man while being unable to stop wanting to be a woman.
3 pointsJul 3, 2023
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I’m dealing with this too. I’m 27 now and my 20’s have been a back-and-forth of being on hormones and off them and transitioning and detransitioning. It seems like I can’t get the idea out of my head either because wanting to be a woman is kind of all I’ve ever known. I’ve tried meditating and looking deeper within myself but I can’t seem to find the answer I’m looking for as to what is the right path for me. It’s sick. I keep telling myself ill figure myself out one day but it seems rather hopeless as I’m nearing 30 and am dreading aging as a man too (balding like you mentioned) and seeing all these successfully transitioned transwomen living their best lives. I just fucking hate it. I hate that I was born like this and that I have to deal with it until I die. Fuck.