This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's story is highly detailed, emotionally complex, and internally consistent over many months. They describe a nuanced and painful personal journey of transition and subsequent detransition, citing specific timelines, medical procedures (T, mastectomy), therapeutic methods (EMDR), and the psychological rationale (trauma, sexual abuse) behind their decisions. The language is passionate and contains the anger and criticism of transgender healthcare practices that is common and authentic within the detrans community. The account shows a clear evolution of thought and offers support to others that is specific and personal, which is difficult to fake convincingly.
About me
My journey started with childhood trauma that made me feel terrible about myself. I downloaded TikTok after a bad breakup and was quickly convinced that becoming a man was the solution to my unhappiness. I was on testosterone for three years and had top surgery, but proper therapy finally helped me see it was a trauma response. I now deeply regret the permanent changes, like my deep voice and surgery scars, and I'm trying to find my way back to being a woman. I've learned that you don't have to change your body to be happy; you have to learn to love the one you have.
My detransition story
My whole journey started with trauma. I was sexually abused as a child and my parents were really terrible to me. I never felt good about myself and I think that's a big part of why all of this happened. I never had a problem with being a girl until 2020, when I was 20 years old. Right before the pandemic, I broke up with my boyfriend and then got locked down alone. I was on the internet all the time and downloaded TikTok. My feed was first full of lesbian content, and even though I’ve always known I'm bisexual, I changed my whole look to be a super masculine lesbian. From there, my feed quickly got flooded with videos about female-to-male transition. It felt like every video was speaking directly to me, especially the ones about how sad the girls were before they transitioned. It made me believe that taking testosterone would fix me and make me happy.
I thought I was being careful. I waited six months after coming out as trans before I started testosterone. But what I really needed was major therapy to process my sexual trauma, not hormones. I was on T for three years and got a double mastectomy. It wasn't until a year ago that I finally got the right therapy, EMDR, and my whole life changed. That therapy made me realize my transition was just a way to escape my past and try to become someone else. It was a trauma response.
At first, I loved the changes from T. My voice dropped really deep, my period stopped immediately, and I grew a lot of body hair. People told me that a cis woman would never want those things, so I must be trans. But I've learned that's not true. Plenty of women don't love being women, and plenty would choose to wake up as a boy if they could. But that's not possible. No matter how much T I took or how many surgeries I had, I was never going to be a real man. I was just a medicalized version of one.
I had a "successful" transition. I passed 100% of the time, lived completely stealth as a straight man, and got top surgery for under $1,000. I went from being what I thought was a gorgeous young woman to an average-looking man. But I was so obsessed with passing that I changed everything about myself. I bought a "masculine" car I couldn't afford, stopped wearing all my favorite jewelry and piercings, and even changed the way I walked and talked. I aggravated my TMJ by constantly pushing my jaw out to make my face look more manly. I stopped listening to all the female singers I loved, like Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift, because I thought a man wouldn't listen to that. It was all so stupid.
Now, my trans identity has completely crumbled. I stopped testosterone about six months ago and I'm trying to find my way back to being a woman. But it's hard. I hate that I still live as a man in everyone's eyes; it feels like a gross costume. I miss the effortless femininity I had before. I miss my perfect natural breasts, even though they were a huge source of discomfort because of my trauma. I regret my top surgery so much. I have visible scars, wide patches of numb skin, electric shock pains from nerve damage, and two fake nipples that are nothing like my original ones. I wish someone had told me it was okay to not like parts of my body and that my feelings could change.
I've come to realize that transgender ideology reinforces harmful gender stereotypes. It tells you that if you're a masculine woman, you must really be a man. It tries to do away with gender nonconformity. I'm learning that you don't have to be super feminine to be a woman. You can just be you.
I don't regret transitioning because it brought me to where I am now, but I deeply regret the permanent changes I made to my body. I'm now infertile, my voice is permanently changed, and I have to live with the consequences of my surgery. I'm working on self-compassion and learning to love the body I have left. The most important thing I've learned is that you have to change your mind to love your body, not change your body to please your mind.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Sexually assaulted |
| 20 (2020) | First experienced gender discomfort; influenced by TikTok |
| 20 | Came out as trans |
| 21 | Started testosterone (T) |
| 22 | Got top surgery (double mastectomy) |
| 24 | Started EMDR therapy; realized transition was a trauma response |
| 24 | Stopped taking testosterone |
| 24 (Present) | Living as a man but detransitioning; coping with regrets |
Top Comments by /u/anonsensical-ox:
Girl same. I used Her (the app) recently and literally most of the likes I got were non-binary people or trans women. I’m so sorry, but how is one a non-binary trans lesbian? Do words just not mean anything anymore and it all just depends on how you feel inside? Where are the spaces for real lesbians these days
Amen sister! Where do they see the words “trans people” in the phrase “gays against groomers” anyway?? How is protecting the healthy development of children from powerful drugs and irreversible surgeries transphobic? Everyone needs to go through their natural puberty first, that’s how you become adults. Children whose natural puberty is interfered with by opposite sex hormones and suppressants are permanently stunted for life or even sterilized. Informed consent does not exist for minors who cannot consent. Who gives a shit what you do once you’re an adult. Please keep doing this beautiful work people need to wake up
Correction: there’s no point in dating him with a flat chest since he clearly values breasts above anything else. Don’t lose hope my friend I know how hard it is but there are people/men out there who won’t give a shit about your chest being flat. Your face is absolutely gorgeous by the way, you could so be a model. Pick yourself up, give yourself some of that love you said is quiet inside of you, be loud about accepting who you are!! Confidence is so sexy when it comes from love for yourself!!
I wish I had understood this years ago, but my friend there is no such thing as “not trying hard enough.” You’re not trying to be a woman, you just are one. You’re not deserving of the label woman, you just are one. You don’t need makeup or dresses to prove that. No one can take that from you. You also look very lovely, I personally would not see you as anything but female if I saw you on the street.
Yes! At first I loved the changes I got from T and of course people told me cis women would never want all the hair, deep voice, etc. therefore I must be trans. Do you know how often I was told that “cis women don’t hate being women! Cis women don’t want to be a boy!” Turns out plenty of cis women don’t LOVE being women. Plenty of cis women would choose to wake up a boy tomorrow if they could. A real boy, not a HRT boy. But that’s not actually possible.
The last sentence in your post is what made me realize that the mainstream transgender ideal was a bunch of horse shit. You’re supposed to accept your body, it’s unrealistic and incredibly toxic to go your whole life coveting surgery and swapping hormones as some kind of miracle cure to your own mental distress. I completely agree with you, it’s total bullshit. The people who think the following is perfectly normal and acceptable are either A. Stupid or B. Profiting off us being stupid.
“I am overweight, it makes me self conscious.” “I hate my nose.” “My ears are too big.” Therapist: accept your body! It’s perfect the way it is! 😍
“38M but I’m really a 21 year old girl inside” Therapist: yup you’re trans let’s get you on estrogen girlie! 💅
lmao if I don’t laugh I will rage
Personally I don’t see a single thing that genders male on you. I think it’s quite obvious you’re a woman (and a very pretty one!!!!) but if you’re looking for something to try I think maybe a wide colorful headband/wrap? Not like the hard plastic ones but the soft scarf-like ones. I may be biased bc I love them but I think that would look really cute with your hairstyle!! I really like your style though and you shouldn’t feel like you ever have to change it for anyone else!
Reminds me a lot of the actual cult I grew up in. Heavy shame and guilt tactics, doubt or uncertainty is punished severely, questioning and researching is not allowed, unless you are using the approved resources and drawing the approved conclusions. Very very cult like. It is honestly disturbing from a psychological standpoint.
God. Reading this post literally made my stomach turn. I am so sorry OP, that is truly vile, disgusting, nauseating behavior. I think u/Hedera_Thorn said it beautifully. The transgender community (and an argument could be made for the LGBT community as a whole) is exactly a fucking cult. And I was literally born into and escaped from an actual extremist right wing Christian cult. (a sect of the LDS religion corporation.) Every single aspect of the transgender movement is totally parallel to the tactics that every cult uses to keep people ignorant, dependent, and ashamed. Shame is a huge one. Leaving the trans community is literally like leaving any other cult: they shame, harass and shun you for your apostasy and betrayal! Even the folks who are no longer trans but still gay or bi are on thin ice at best, and at worst they’re even “worse” than the cishets!
My tip for dealing with mean people in general though is to remind yourself that everyone is projecting. Everyone. Every person you meet is projecting themselves onto you and perceiving you through only their own thoughts. And the fact that one person’s detransition is such a threat to their own fragile minds that they would even think to encourage a human being to end their life is a testament of that projection. They are truly mentally ill and insane people who are clearly deeply insecure. I’m honesty enraged, fuck these people. I would seriously consider taking legal action if this continues OP. Having them come for your life and your job like that is not (or shouldn’t be) fucking okay.
Cheers to being apostates of the transgender community movement agenda cult!
I had top surgery. I was dead set on it: I went to a good surgeon, did all my research, took care of my scars, weighed the risks. At the time I thought I absolutely needed it to feel comfortable and happy and literally “be free”and I thought there was no possible way I could ever regret it. Naturally, my surgeon told me the regret rates are “astronomically low.” Plot twist: less than 2 years later here I am regretting it. I couldn’t really admit that I regret it until after I started my detransition. I kept some old pictures from before, even before I started binding when they were still perky, and one day I saw them and it finally hit me like a fucking train: they were perfect and now they’re gone forever. And all I have now is a visible sternum, wide patches of numb skin, electric shock pains from the nerve damage, and two sewn-on fake nipples that were crafted from my original perfect nipples. They’re tiny, scarred, pigmented and one pokes out and one is completely flat. They’re totally numb and serve no function whatsoever (which I knew going in but I’d convinced myself that was preferable to the discomfort I felt at the time). They’re getting removed when I get a reconstruction.
You’re absolutely right about the propaganda of top surgery in trans content. I was very clearly suffering from sexual trauma induced body dysmorphia. But everyone in my life and everyone online told me it was gender dysphoria, that I was trans and transition would solve my problems and make me happy with myself. I just wish someone had told me that it’s okay to not like parts of me, that my brain was still changing and my feelings were going to change along with it. It is so incredibly hard to detangle my identity as a person from both my perceived societal role as a woman, and from the position I was put in as a traumatized child. I’m working on it though. Taking therapy very seriously helps a lot. Hopefully I can have a reconstruction someday and maybe be able to see some of my old self again.