This story is from the comments by /u/anonymous1111199992 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the extensive comments provided, this user account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The user demonstrates:
- Deeply personal and consistent narratives about their transition, time on testosterone, and detransition journey over several years.
- Complex, nuanced, and evolving views on gender, dysphoria, feminism, and the trans community, which is consistent with the passionate and often painful introspection common in this space.
- Specific, practical advice grounded in lived experience (e.g., effects of quitting T, laser hair removal, social challenges).
- A clear, long-term personal history that includes identifying as a trans man, being on testosterone for a decade, and then detransitioning.
The account shows the hallmarks of a genuine individual processing a complex and difficult experience, not a fabricated persona.
About me
I was born female and transitioned to live as a man for a decade, taking testosterone and having top surgery. I now see my transition was driven by internalized misogyny and a narrow view of what a woman could be. After a profound personal shift, I quit testosterone and slowly accepted my body as it is. I now live happily as a masculine woman, at peace with my unique history. My journey taught me that womanhood isn't a performance, but simply what I am.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and it’s taken me many years to understand it. I was born female, and for a long time, I identified as a trans man. I started taking testosterone in my late teens or early twenties and was on it for about a decade. During that time, I had top surgery to remove my breasts. I lived fully as a man and passed as one.
Looking back, I think a lot of my desire to transition came from a place of internalized misogyny. I had a very narrow view of what it meant to be a woman. I saw women as boring, dull, and less interesting than men. I thought female characters were never as cool, and I didn't realize that this was because they were often created by men with a misogynistic viewpoint. I also hated the idea of being sexualized or seen as submissive. I felt like butch lesbians must secretly want to be men. I now see that I was confusing womanhood with the stereotypes patriarchy and capitalism force on us.
Living as a man was strange. At first, it felt great to "pass." But over time, it became a burden. I felt awful when people assumed I was a cis man. It was hard to connect with women because they were wary of me, and I realized I didn't want to connect with men; I wanted to be with women. I liked being around other trans men, but outside of those circles, I felt isolated. I also started to hate the physical effects of testosterone. I didn't want to go bald, and I hated having a beard.
A major turning point for me was a kind of spiritual or mystical experience I had. It wasn't prompted by drugs, but it completely shifted my perspective. It helped me separate womanhood from all the negative imagery I had attached to it. I realized that being a woman could be so much more than what society said it was. I didn't have to conform to any expectations.
I decided to stop testosterone. I didn't make a big announcement or plan out a full detransition. I just listened to myself and moved away from what felt wrong. I quit T and later got laser hair removal on my face. I took everything very slowly, which was different from how I rushed into my original transition. I’ve been off T for almost five years now.
My body has changed slowly over the years off testosterone. My face has become more feminine, my body shape has shifted, and my Adam's apple is less noticeable. My voice is still deep, but it has lightened a bit without any training. I don't try to perform femininity. I wear men's clothes—baggy pants and well-fitting t-shirts—because they are comfortable and practical. I focus on my silhouette to subtly highlight my female shape, like my hips and waist. I don't wear makeup or bras; it all feels like a costume. I am a masculine woman, and that's okay.
I don't have deep regrets about my transition. I sometimes mourn the irreversible changes, like my top surgery and voice, but I see my journey as a part of who I am now. I couldn't have made different decisions with the knowledge I had back then. My experience has made me who I am. I'm mostly attracted to women, and I relate to other masculine women and butch lesbians. My sexuality changed on T; I became interested in men, but when I quit, that interest faded, and my attraction to women returned strongly. I consider myself bisexual with a strong preference for women.
Detransitioning hasn't ruined my life. I live a normal, happy life with friends, a job, and love. I have fun and enjoy my life. The key for me was radical acceptance. My body is my body, the only one I have to experience life with. I've learned to focus on what I can do and feel, rather than how I look. I found peace through feminism, specifically a radical feminism that rejects the idea that womanhood is about appearance or pleasing men.
I feel a disconnect from the current trans community. It seems like words have lost their meaning, and being trans is now more about a feeling than tangible social or physical transition. I see gender-conforming people in straight relationships calling themselves non-binary, and it feels like they don't understand the reality of crossing gender boundaries. It can feel lonely. I sometimes let people assume I'm non-binary because it's easier than explaining my detransition, as there's a lot of misunderstanding and hatred towards detransitioners.
Ultimately, I am a woman. That’s not a feeling or a performance; it’s just what I am. I am a female human being with a unique history. I am at peace with that.
Timeline of My Transition and Detransition
Age | Event |
---|---|
Late teens / early 20s | Started taking testosterone (T). |
Around the same time | Had top surgery (breast removal). |
Lived 10 years on T | Lived socially as a man. |
Around age 30 | Stopped testosterone. |
Over the next 4-5 years | Underwent laser hair removal for facial hair. Body and face slowly became more feminine. No social "coming out" as detransitioned; just lived life gradually changing. |
Present (mid-late 30s) | Living as a masculine woman. Content with my life and identity. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/anonymous1111199992:
There are trans women in lesbian spaces, both online and offline. They have zero self awareness about the fact that they don't understand lesbian experiences. And it doesn't even matter if there's only one or two. It's very different to be in 100 % female space and in a space where there are males present.
Lesbian porn & slash. So, the idolization and eroticization of gay relationships. LGBT being a cool club instead of just a descriptor of what you are. Weirdly, for some people it's easier to accept themselves as a gay trans person than a "boring" straight cis person with a restrictive relationship model.
And at least for FTM's, T just seem to make some FTM's more into men than they were before, and if they quit T, that interest ceases to exist. Even hormonal contraceptives affect women's preferences on whether they want more masculine or more feminine men, so I'm not surprised cross-sex hormones will affect their sexuality. I don't know if this is the case with MTF's.
I've noticed a lot of FTM's are happy to date each other and many even prefer other FTM's over cis men but MTF's seem to prefer cis lesbians? And it's especially lesbians, not a bi women. This is how it seems online, at least. What's up with that?
In the past women like you - and women like me - became feminists. Changing yourself or your body doesn't fix the problem. Women never got suffrage by changing who they are.
We're in a dire need of learning to locate the source of women's suffering, and acting accordingly. It's not our female bodies that make us inferior.
It depends on what trans rights mean. A lot of trans rights are actually rights that simply protect GNC people. I support people having a right to be not discriminated against in housing or employment based on their looks. I support people having the freedom to live their life passing as the other sex if they want to, or live as non-passing trans people without fear of violence.
What I don't support is women's rights being framed as transphobia. Women should be able to gather and have female-only spaces. Trans rights doesn't mean everyone else should share the worldview of trans people and act as they are the highest authorities when it comes to gendered issues.
I think it like this: it's like a freedom of religion. You should be free to live according to your beliefs but that doesn't mean everyone else should share your religion.
One thing that can help you avoid people thinking you're a trans woman is to continue wearing "men's clothes" etc until one day, probably, people will start to read you as a female, regardless. That might make people assume you're a trans man, but they're more likely to get your sex right.
Conforming to feminine stereotypes can actually highlight your masculine features, whereas more neutral clothing can make people notice you don't look like a male.
If you haven't had laser yet that's something to consider, unfortunately it's very hard to be understood as a female if you have visible facial hair.
I don't say there isn't a connection BUT this isn't any kind of proof of it. Just to compare: most of lesbian content online is porn and lesbians aren't too happy about it. And just like someone else said, detrans tag on tumblr is filled with porn, too, and that doesn't mean there's a connection between porn and identifying as detrans.
I'm critical of trans issues myself and wouldn't even be surprised if there was a connection between porn consumption identifying as trans but it's no good to come up with "proof" that doesn't prove anything.
If you transition, you will be a trans woman. Not a regular woman, but a trans woman, with worries and stigma that comes with that. It's not a panacea.
If you make a list of everything that's making you uncomfortable, do those things exist outside your body? Are you the problem? Is changing yourself the solution?
"At the time of the surgery, it had been only two-and-a-half months since I started taking testosterone shots"
Is it actually possible to get phalloplasty (which was somehow the sixth surgery? what were the other ones?) while only having been on T for 2,5 months?
First, this is a detrans subreddit. It's kind of offensive how you people flock here to ask what to do so you wouldn't end up like us.
But anyway, the things you said are a red flag. "New, happy person". No, you're not going to become a new person, you're going to be just you but with some hormones and surgeries. "All my problems go away." No they don't, you will have the same problems but just with some hormones and surgeries.
A lot of people assume transitioning will give them some kind of new life. But the thing is, we can't run away from our problems with external changes like that. It won't turn you into someone else. It will come with a new set of problems, too. For some people transitioning is worth it all, but these people are typically well-adjusted before transition and don't except it to be a magical fix to all their problems. If you expect that you're going to be badly disappointed.
One thing to remember too is that no amount of transitioning will make you biologically female. People who expect magical fix often wish it would be possible. But you're going to look like you, have the same body type you do right now, you're going to be male always. I don't mean you couldn't pass, a lot of trans women do, but it's important to be realistic. People who are happy with their transition tend to have a realistic understanding of what transitioning can achieve and what it can't.
If you want to quit porn, I'd suggest not only thinking about what looking at porn does to you but also what it does to women in general and the female actors who are subjected to all of it. Develop empathy. Read feminist theory critical of porn.
You wouldn't spend your free time looking at other kind of abuse, would you?