This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The user shares a highly specific, personal, and medically detailed detransition narrative that is consistent across multiple posts, including experiences with testosterone, top surgery, and the social process of retransitioning. The emotional tone is passionate and personal, aligning with the expected perspective of a detransitioner.
About me
I started trying to escape being female as a teenager because of trauma and a fear of being objectified. I rushed into testosterone and top surgery, which caused me lasting physical and emotional damage that my doctors never properly warned me about. After almost five years, I stopped hormones and have been finding my way back to living as a woman. I’m learning that I can be a masculine woman and still love myself, which has brought me a peace I never had before. Now, I focus less on my gender and more on simply living my life.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was really young. I was exposed to a lot of scary stuff, like Law and Order: SVU, from an early age and it made me fear my own sexuality. I felt like being female meant I would be dehumanized or objectified, and I tried to dissociate from my sex as much as possible. I also had some familial trauma related to being objectified, which made everything worse. I always dressed very masculine and felt completely fake whenever I tried to act or dress in a feminine way. It just wasn't me.
I came out as trans socially when I was 13 years old. A lot of my feelings were tied up in internalized misogyny and a deep discomfort with puberty. I hated my breasts and the attention they brought. I started binding my chest for 10+ hours a day, which caused me a lot of back and rib pain. This pain was one of the main reasons I wanted top surgery later on.
When I was 16 or 17, I was in a huge rush to start testosterone. I really wish now that I had waited until I was older, at least until my brain was done developing around 25. I was on T for almost five years. It had some really severe effects on my body that my doctors never warned me about. It gave me two periods a month for eight months straight and I developed PMDD. I still deal with hot flashes and excessive sweating. The testosterone also caused permanent hair loss on my temples that will probably never grow back.
The emotional effects were just as hard. Testosterone dulled all of my emotions. I wasn't able to relate to my female friends anymore, but I also didn't really fit in with guys. I felt completely isolated during what should have been some of the most emotionally important years of my life.
When I was 18, I got a double mastectomy. My main reasons were the pain from binding, the internalized misogyny, and the trauma of being objectified. I'm five years post-op now and I wish I had waited or at least started with just a breast reduction. My feelings about my gender are changing, and I'm coming to appreciate all the incredible things a female body can do, rather than just what it looks like.
My medical care was really concerning. The doctors who gave me testosterone had no idea what the long-term effects would be on my body, and that's scary to think about. I was at the point where I might have needed a hysterectomy before I finally stopped T. At one point, my doctor decided not to take me off T but instead put me on Lupron without telling me it's used as a chemical castration tool or about all the lawsuits against it.
I’ve only been off testosterone for a few months now, and I've also done a lot of my social transition back to living as female in that time. What has helped me the most is learning to love myself and being open to new advice. I'm gay, and becoming more open to relationships with other women has helped me feel at home in my skin. A lot of girls are into the butch look, and I've realized I don't have to battle with my femininity because I fit a certain niche. It's taken me a long time to understand that there is more than one way to be a woman.
Now, I'm focusing on things that aren't related to my gender at all. I like being outdoors, exercising, playing with my cats, and tending my plants. I listen to comedy podcasts and audiobooks. It helps to focus on what I think about myself, not what other people see. When I can appreciate the things I do, I don't even think much about my gender.
I've slowly started swapping out my men's clothing for women's clothing that looks similar. I still wear cargo pants, old t-shirts, and beat-up sneakers, but because they're women's brands, they fit my body better and help people unconsciously see me as female. The only downside is getting used to smaller pockets again! I also carry a small, masculine-looking black leather crossbody bag, which makes me look and feel female.
I do have some regrets about my transition, especially regarding the medical interventions. I regret not waiting longer and not exploring other options, like therapy, to deal with my trauma and body issues first. But I don't regret the journey entirely because it led me to where I am now, which is a place of much more self-acceptance and peace.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Came out socially as trans. |
| 16-17 | Started testosterone. |
| 18 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 21-22 | Was put on Lupron by doctor. |
| 23 | Stopped testosterone after almost 5 years. Began social detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/antiquecommite:
Tiktok is the worst for debating trans people. It's like you came into their house and slapped them. Lol they respond with so much vitriol. I've tried to have the same discussion but there's a mental block between what they want to believe vs what is actually true. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that tumblr is not real life lol
I think what you're doing can only have upsides. I was in a rush to get on T as soon as possible when I was 16-17, and I really wish I would have waited until at least my brain was done developing (age ~25 or so). Testosterone gave me 2 periods a month for 8 months, I developed PMDD, and to this day still deal with the hot flashes and sweat. I will continue to have hair loss on my temples and it probably won't grow back.
Testosterone also dulled all my emotions, so I wasn't able to relate to my female friends anymore. I also didn't fit in with guys. During the most emotionally important years of your life, you can see how that would be problematic.
I totally understand how you feel when you say you don't want peoples first impression of you to be your gender. It's so frustrating to be boiled down to male or female and have perceptions and assumptions put on you before you even say your first word. I've found it's helped me to focus on things that aren't related to my gender at all. I like being outdoors and exercising and playing with my cats and tending my plants. I listen to comedy podcasts and audiobooks. It helps to focus on what I think about myself, not other people. When I can appreciate the things I do, I don't even think much about my gender.
Hi there, I've only identified as detrans for a few months. Every day it gets a little easier to deal with, and I actually enjoy being treated as a woman now. I think it shows a lot of growth for you to be able to recognize your own feelings that way. Good on you!
I had a similar experience. I was exposed to le and order: svu from a very young age and i feared my sexuality because of it. I felt like I would be dehumanized because of my sex so I tried to dissociate from it as much as possible. I've also always dressed very masculine and felt "fake" when trying to be feminine.
I think it was just my system not agreeing with it as a medication. I had a lot of ftm friends that had no issues being on T despite being my same age. My levels pre-T were all within normal range and I've always been healthy, active, and muscular.
The problem later was that my doctor decided not to take me off of T, but instead put me on Lupron without telling me it was used as a chemical castration tool for sex offenders, or about all the lawsuits against it.
I slowly started swapping out my men's clothing for women's clothing that looks similar. It fits my body better and I feel more confident. I'm still wearing cargo pants, old t shirts, and beat up sneakers, but because they're women's brands, they fit me a little better and help with the unconscious signifier people use to determine ones sex. The only thing is having to get used to smaller pockets again, lol.
I also started carrying around a very small, masculine purse. It's a black leather cross body bag that I can keep my wallet and keys in, but it makes me look (and feel!!) female along with the other things I'm doing.
I felt very similarly at 18 when I got my mastectomy. My main reason for getting it was internalized misogyny, some familial trauma of being objectified, and back and rib pain from binding for 10+ hour days. I'm 5 years post op now and I wish I would have waited or at least started with a breast reduction. My ambivalence towards my gender is changing and I am coming to appreciate all the incredible things it can do vs what it looks like.
I second scalp massages. Once a week or so I do an exfoliation with a sulfate/paraben free shampoo which helps clear the scalp. I do gentle scalp massages with rosemary oil and/or coconut oil. Randomly throughout the day, I'll give my head a good scratch.
Thank you so much! Your comment helped me out a lot. I really appreciate your insight to the psychological aspects of my fear. I'm definitely a hypochondriac and am terrified of throwing up or going crazy. I need to remind myself that it will pass. Thank you for sharing your story