This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user.
The user's comments are highly detailed, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent, describing a personal journey of desisting from a trans identity. They reference specific personal experiences (e.g., height, involvement in a GSA club, voice training habits) and express complex, evolving views on internalized misogyny and social influence. The passion and criticism align with known perspectives within the desister community. The language is natural and varies in tone and length, which is not typical of automated bots.
About me
I started feeling like I didn't fit in as a girl because I had masculine interests and am autistic, which made female friendships difficult. As a teenager, I began to hate society's expectations for women and thought my discomfort meant I was really a man, so I socially transitioned. Being deeply involved in a trans social circle reinforced this identity and I even planned for surgery. However, when I stepped away from that group, my dysphoria vanished almost instantly, and I realized I was just uncomfortable with sexist stereotypes, not my actual female body. Now I understand that my personality doesn't define my womanhood, and I'm grateful I found confidence without making permanent changes.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I never felt like I fit in with the other girls. My interests were always more masculine—I loved video games, cars, and heavy metal music. Because of that, I was often socially outcast by other women, and I found it much easier to be friends with guys. I think a lot of my feelings were also tied to the fact that I'm autistic; I never understood the unspoken social rules that seemed to come so easily to other women.
When I was old enough to understand how society sees women, I started to really hate it. I hated the way women were portrayed as airheaded or just accessories to men. I wanted to be seen as smart and cool and sarcastic, but whenever I acted that way as a female, I was just labeled a "bitch." This feeling got worse during my teenage years, which is a time when hating your body is, frankly, pretty normal. I looked in the mirror and felt like I didn't measure up to the perfect female bodies I saw in media. I didn't feel "female enough."
That's when I learned about being a trans man. It felt like an answer. I thought, if I don't fit into the box of what a woman is supposed to be, then I must be a man. I started presenting completely as male: a new name, male pronouns, and binding my chest. I passed as male pretty easily because I'm 5'11" and have broad shoulders. It felt incredibly validating when strangers would call me "he"; it made my whole day.
A huge part of this was my social circle. I was the officer of a GSA club at school, and almost everyone in it was trans. Being surrounded by that mindset completely shaped how I thought. I started to believe that my discomfort with being a woman was actually gender dysphoria. I was planning on getting top surgery because I hated my breasts. I even remember once crying and almost having a breakdown because my mom called me "she" and I was asked to wear a tighter shirt.
But the turning point came when I got away from those people. I didn't speak to anyone from that trans social circle, online or in person, for over a week. Almost instantly, my so-called "gender dysphoria" vanished. I suddenly didn't feel the need to hide my chest anymore. I bought a comfortable bra instead of a binding one. A few months later, I was wearing women's clothes again and feeling confident.
Being alone with my thoughts made me realize that my desire to transition wasn't really about my gender. It was a product of my low self-esteem, my internalized misogyny, and the social pressure I was under. I didn't have a problem with my sex; I had a problem with the box society wanted to put me in because of my sex. My brain had created a vicious cycle: first, I hated my body for not being the "right" kind of female body, and then I hated it for not being a male body.
I never went through with any medical procedures or took hormones, so I didn't have to deal with any serious health complications or infertility. My detransition was entirely social, and for that, I'm very grateful. I do have regrets about the whole experience. I regret the years I spent pretending to be someone I wasn't and the mental anguish I put myself through. I regret buying into the idea that the solution to hating your body is to change it forever, instead of working on the deeper issues of self-loathing.
Now, I see that my interests and personality don't make me less of a woman. There is no one way to be a woman. I think a lot of young people, especially teenage girls, are being influenced online and by their friends to see transition as a cure-all for their problems, when what they really need is help with their self-esteem, depression, or anxiety. I benefited immensely from stepping back and doing some deep, introspective thinking instead of just accepting a label.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14-16 | Started feeling disconnected from other girls due to masculine interests and being autistic. Began to internalize society's negative views of women. |
| 16 | Learned about being transgender and began to socially transition to male (name, pronouns, binding). Felt validated when passing as male. |
| 16 | Became deeply involved in a trans social circle as a GSA club officer, which reinforced my trans identity. |
| 16 | Planned to get top surgery due to hating my breasts. |
| 16 | Took a break from my trans social circle and social media. My feelings of dysphoria disappeared within a week. |
| 17 | Stopped identifying as trans. Bought a comfortable bra and began wearing women's clothes again, feeling confident. |
| 17+ | Understood that my journey was driven by internalized misogyny, low self-esteem, and social pressure, not by an innate gender identity. |
Top Comments by /u/apocaIypseArisen:
I'm not sure what you mean by "very feminine brain". I'm an autistic female and I, personally, have never related to other women at all. There is a massive amount of unspoken social rules among women and I always related more to males because they had less.
I understand where you're coming from but these problems are going to be ubiquitous for most autistic people and I'm just a little confused by your sentiment that you have a feminine brain.
Non-men, by their definition: anyone who doesn’t pin-straight fit the stereotypical box that women have been forced into. Masculine or androgynous women, according to them, are just transman eggs who haven’t cracked yet. A woman to them is only one who fits all gender roles.
Not even sometimes. I feel that the entirety of trans ideology is based on strict gender roles. You’re not feminine enough to be a woman? You must be a man. You’re not masculine enough to be a man? You must be a woman. “Being trans” is very heavily influenced by the world’s perception of someone and how they fit into gender stereotypes.
Well said! It’s great to see someone speaking out against the completely delusional ideals that these people are pushing. The new definition they’ve dreamt up for lesbians is absolute BS—have you heard of the “bisexual lesbian” movement? People who claim they are both bisexual and lesbian at the very same time. I can’t tell if it’s even groupthink anymore, or just plain stupidity.
Exactly the same for me. As soon as I got away from all that—took a break from trans social groups, social media, and social norms in general—I realized all of my “dysphoria” was coming from my lack of adherence to those strict gender roles. It was almost embarrassing to be perceived as a masculine woman, in my mind. I don’t know where this idea started for me but I’m so glad I broke free of it
“I don’t want people to see me as a woman.” Therein your problem lies. There is no one definition for a woman, but you seem to have your mind entirely made up as to what “being a woman” entails. Figure out your internalized misogyny first before questioning your gender.
I didn't say that men have no social rules, but "less". And the fact you aren't aware of that speaks to you being very out of touch with the female experience.
Your same sex has a problem with your hobbies and traits just because they are seen as more feminine. By the same token, I've experienced the exact same thing my entire life. My hobbies include (violent) video games, watching traditionally "male" television, going to the gym, cars, and heavy metal music. Do you imagine that my hobbies being untraditional for my gender would cause no issue among women?
Well, you would be wrong. I've been socially outcast for much of my life by other women. You know who was fine with all of those things? Men. So you and I are one in the same.
And I'm still not going around saying I have a "masculine brain". Your hobbies and interests do not make your brain fundamentally different from your gender and I think a lot of us detransitioners want to avoid such meaninglessly gendered language that is rooted in gender stereotypes.
I think saying you're a "feminine male" is different from saying you have a "feminine brain" because you're using an adjective to describe yourself. Anyone can be a feminine male and that can be a perfectly accurate descriptor.
But saying you have a "feminine brain" is different because it implies that there is some difference between a "masculine brain" and a "feminine brain", when in reality there's really not...like at all.
There is no way to have a feminine brain. Brains can't have human attributes, they are brains.
As a suggestion, maybe you could describe it differently by saying "I have feminine hobbies and enjoy things that may stereotypically be considered feminine"? It's not that hard to type it out if you try hard enough.
I agree, but I also hate the “just because” reasoning. I meet so many teens at my school (typically female, 14-16 yrs old) who say they’re trans. They don’t think deeply about its consequences or why they’re feeling this way. They have self esteem issues or other problems at home, and their cure-all bandaid is to proclaim they are transgender. It feels like an epidemic. Edit: I used to be a club officer of the GSA, and 90% of the members fit into this group. Most of them also stated to me that they have no gender dysphoria. So… why??
The exact same thing happened to me. I’m glad to know I’m not alone. Thankfully I was able to realize that transitioning was not going to solve any of my self-loathing or other self-esteem problems. I had a fairly easy time making the social de-transition. I hate that teens are being taught that the correct solution to hating your body (a NORMAL part of teenagehood), is a life-altering gender transition.